MORTIFIED, he didn’t turn up to meet the family!

[Maisiexo]

Absolutely mortified! Boyfriend (well ex now) has been pestering to meet my family for ages now. I finally organised a meal which included myself and boyfriend, DF and his partner, DGPs and DB for yesterday at mine. Boyfriend seemed very happy to be meeting them. It’s been difficult finding a weekend where they were all free as DS works shifts and DF works away.
It was planned for 3pm. I spent all of the previous night and yesterday preparing a 3 course meal from scratch. Boyfriend isn’t from here so included dishes from his country too.

I messaged in the morning to confirm 3pm would still be good for him. He said yes and I got everything ready.

At 2:15pm I get a message off him saying he will come after 4pm instead as he wants to go to the gym “in a bit”and shopping beforehand! No apology for being late. I explained that the food was already in the oven and I didn’t know if my family would be able to stay that long as they had other arrangements for later on in the day. He then tried to turn it around on me saying that my family obviously weren’t that interested in meeting him if they couldn’t be bothered to wait an extra hour and a bit to meet him. 😦

I told him I found it very rude that he was trying to turn this back on me and has dropped me in it with my family. He then blocked me and never turned up. He rang off a no caller ID a couple of hours later but I didn’t answer

By the time he blocked me it was almost 3 and my family arrived a few minutes later. It was so embarrassing having to explain to my family that he hadn’t turned up. We did enjoy the dinner and I hid my emotions while they were here but have been so upset and mortified ever since.

AIBU to be disgusted in his behaviour? He was making out I was blowing everything out of proportion and he has every right to turn up hours late!

If you can’t offer OP support with the situation as it is, why bother posting a very ignorant point of view. yes, OP had a contraceptive failure, but that doesn’t mean she’s comfortable with abortion. Or did that not occur to you in your rush to criticise ?

Get your CMS claim in IMMEDIATELY.

Make sure you get baby a passport and keep it somewhere extremely safe, away from him.

Is he on the birth certificate? I hope baby has your surname.

I'd be worried that he'll take baby back to his home country, so be very careful about allowing him any unsupervised time together.

I'd personally hope that he's gone for good. Your child doesn't need a shitty father in his life. I wouldn't be encouraging contact.

Biggest drip feed ever.

Just cross your fingers you can be permanently rid of him.

Block him on all SM and move on.

Is he married to someone else?

*Get your CMS claim in IMMEDIATELY.

Make sure you get baby a passport and keep it somewhere extremely safe, away from him.*

Do these two things now!

OP he may be self aware enough to know your family will see him for what he is - a bit of a shit, and absent father, a person without honour or responsibility.

your relationship only works in a bubble - safe for eyes that see him for what he is.

he doesn’t want awkward questions - does his family know about the baby, what are his plans for being a pet of the babies life, does he support the baby, has he been to societies appointments, where does he live and with who. He wasn’t going to be late - he wasn’t going at all.

I can’t believe you thought he would

so your family never ever visited whilst he was present?

Wow!!
What a vile human he is!!

OP you’ve said several times that you should have done or shouldn’t have done things but absolutely not one thing is your fault.
Please do not wish you did things differently because this is not your fault at all.

You tried making a go of things with your child’s father and took your time to make it official - all good things.

Now you know you tried everything and he’s just a huge twat.

Claim CMS and only speak to him if it regards the baby.
If you have support then try and spend as much time with friends and family.

I wouldn’t rush into a relationship but I would have fun dating.

This man could have had something nice but he chose not to - his loss.

Make sure claim what you are entitled to. Dont make life easy for him. What an absolute pig of a man.

What a knob

Agree about the CMS application.

This man is another person who supports my argument that some people deserve to be single.

I don’t understand why you were trying to play happy families with this man in the first place!

Very messed up. He will come and go as he wishes and call you and block you as he wishes, because he has a child with you and he will have parental rights over the child. But he does not want to propose to you or see your parents and behave like a normal, down to earth, responsible man. Anyway. For you to deal with him, sweetheart. Noone is able now to do anything about it

being single isn’t a “punishment”

It's not been a waste of time. You know for sure now.

That would be the end of the relationship for me.

What a waste of space he is!
I think your family would have formed the right impression of him way before the planned meal, so don't feel embarrassed.
Do concentrate on you and your baby, and keep him blocked
He can take you to court for access if he's that bothered but obviously he should be paying for the baby.

Do NOT ever give this "man baby" another chance!!!

I'd be on to CMS immediately.

If he wants to see the child, let him go through the courts.

He absolutely should pay cms for his child.

What a coward the man is!!

I’m sorry but he’s too pre occupied with himself. He could go to the gym or shopping anytime. He is narcissistic but I’m sorry you had to go to the the effort of this weekend arrangements to get to the truth. Flag your post as reminder of how he made you feel in case he ever crawls out of his own arse and try’s to re-connect.

I really don’t think this is narcissism and am surprised this is your take. For me he simply didn’t wisn to meet her family and sit there pretending to be a couple. The man’s blocked her.

he commented they weren’t that interested to meet him, which makes me think it was more the op wanted him to meet them rather than him wanting this.

also I’m not sure if this was proper dating , letting everyone know they were together, socialising together or he came round to see th4 kid and she had sex with him, and he didn’t have to pay.

eother way it’s very very clear he didn’t want to meet them.

OP, I'm so sorry that you are connected to this ridiculous little boy of a person.
I hope you can get shut of him entirely.