MORTIFIED, he didn’t turn up to meet the family!

[Maisiexo]

Absolutely mortified! Boyfriend (well ex now) has been pestering to meet my family for ages now. I finally organised a meal which included myself and boyfriend, DF and his partner, DGPs and DB for yesterday at mine. Boyfriend seemed very happy to be meeting them. It’s been difficult finding a weekend where they were all free as DS works shifts and DF works away.
It was planned for 3pm. I spent all of the previous night and yesterday preparing a 3 course meal from scratch. Boyfriend isn’t from here so included dishes from his country too.

I messaged in the morning to confirm 3pm would still be good for him. He said yes and I got everything ready.

At 2:15pm I get a message off him saying he will come after 4pm instead as he wants to go to the gym “in a bit”and shopping beforehand! No apology for being late. I explained that the food was already in the oven and I didn’t know if my family would be able to stay that long as they had other arrangements for later on in the day. He then tried to turn it around on me saying that my family obviously weren’t that interested in meeting him if they couldn’t be bothered to wait an extra hour and a bit to meet him. 😦

I told him I found it very rude that he was trying to turn this back on me and has dropped me in it with my family. He then blocked me and never turned up. He rang off a no caller ID a couple of hours later but I didn’t answer

By the time he blocked me it was almost 3 and my family arrived a few minutes later. It was so embarrassing having to explain to my family that he hadn’t turned up. We did enjoy the dinner and I hid my emotions while they were here but have been so upset and mortified ever since.

AIBU to be disgusted in his behaviour? He was making out I was blowing everything out of proportion and he has every right to turn up hours late!

Fuck me. That's less of a drip feed, more of a tsunami

pure shit show

poor child

Did you previously work with M. Night Shyamalan by any chance OP?

Thanks all. I hold my hands up I have been terribly stupid regarding the whole situation. It’s a very messed up situation. The one good thing to come out of it is dc who I love to pieces.

Apologies again for that massive drip feed! I should have put it in the original post.

He wouldn't phone a restaurant and say that the table that was booked for 3.00pm will have to wait as he's going down the gym for a bit.

He deliberately planned this by the sound of things, to embarrass you in front of your family.

He's a rubbish boyfriend a a crap parent go his child.

Hopefully he'll never get back in touch with you and you can raise your child in peace.

Harsh but basically true.

I’m so sorry you had a grim afternoon OP, but I suspect that this the climax of a whole lot of arsehole behaviour.

Get your boundaries up now. It may be in your interest that he comes to your house to see the baby, so you might have to put up with that for now, but that’s it.

Are you getting financial support from him? Make sure you get that.

Wow!!! Shocking from him but at least you know from now. You see so many posts from people on here who are gaslit and messed around for years. At least that won't be you.

The OP literally said she was worried about outing herself, so why would you ask this?

I really hope he isn't named on the birth cert...

why don’t you google that name 😆

I hope he’s paying child maintenance.

wish I could just block him and never have to see him again after this but he will be wanting to see dc.

Tough! I take it that he is not on the birth certificate and has no formal parental rights? I'd say let him take you court if he is actually interested in his child. He will be too busy shopping and going to the gym to follow through with that.

I am going to guess this is the first time he has shown behaviour like this.

Do you have an email address for him. I would block him and email saying that you will only communicate via email regarding the child. Get a regular contact routine set up and have as little to do with him as possible.

Because he will pull you back in again and you will find yourself ‘giving it another go’

I'd still block him, he had no qualms blocking you - knowing you could actually need to contact him about his child!

If he wants to see the child, he can arrange it legally - in writing. I hope you are getting CSA from him too.

He's almost certainly met someone else, sorry. He's a first class eejit and be alert for red flags in future relationships. Good call in dumping the clown and I hope you meet someone nicer and more suitable in time.

@JabbaTheBeachHut What!? 😂 I think you completely missed the point. Omg.. 😂😅

no need to apologise for the drip feed. Unanimously, his behaviour was considered dreadful. All the more so now we know what a significant occasion it would have been!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Comedy gold. I’m laughing so much here. 😂😂

Ok but without the information that you have a child, don't you think the advice will be completely different? I mean, it's unforgivable either way as a partner but you still presumably have to remain civil now which posters wouldn't have known to factor in. He sounds a dolt. Sacking off meeting the family to go to the gym. At least you know exactly what he is now.

So your family who already have a low opinion of him, now have an even lower opinion of him. There is no going back from this. He probably knows it too and did it deliberately.

You owe him nothing. Would your baby be better off having this lowlife in his life or not? How much effort I put into facilitating the relationship would depend on this.

So sorry you have to put up with this POS for your child’s sake. Is he always this flaky when seeing your DC?

You have nothing to be embarrassed about, he’s shown you who he is.

He thought you are wanting a marriage, darling , who knows
I met my future mother in law just virtually a month after I started living with her son. She was actually desperate to meet me.

Oh god that makes is so so bad, I can’t believe he did this to you and you have a kid together. What must your family think of you with someone like this. Getting back with someone like this, having a baby with someone who treats you so bad.i can see why you’re mortified.