MORTIFIED, he didn’t turn up to meet the family!

[Maisiexo]

Absolutely mortified! Boyfriend (well ex now) has been pestering to meet my family for ages now. I finally organised a meal which included myself and boyfriend, DF and his partner, DGPs and DB for yesterday at mine. Boyfriend seemed very happy to be meeting them. It’s been difficult finding a weekend where they were all free as DS works shifts and DF works away.
It was planned for 3pm. I spent all of the previous night and yesterday preparing a 3 course meal from scratch. Boyfriend isn’t from here so included dishes from his country too.

I messaged in the morning to confirm 3pm would still be good for him. He said yes and I got everything ready.

At 2:15pm I get a message off him saying he will come after 4pm instead as he wants to go to the gym “in a bit”and shopping beforehand! No apology for being late. I explained that the food was already in the oven and I didn’t know if my family would be able to stay that long as they had other arrangements for later on in the day. He then tried to turn it around on me saying that my family obviously weren’t that interested in meeting him if they couldn’t be bothered to wait an extra hour and a bit to meet him. 😦

I told him I found it very rude that he was trying to turn this back on me and has dropped me in it with my family. He then blocked me and never turned up. He rang off a no caller ID a couple of hours later but I didn’t answer

By the time he blocked me it was almost 3 and my family arrived a few minutes later. It was so embarrassing having to explain to my family that he hadn’t turned up. We did enjoy the dinner and I hid my emotions while they were here but have been so upset and mortified ever since.

AIBU to be disgusted in his behaviour? He was making out I was blowing everything out of proportion and he has every right to turn up hours late!

This. In a way it was good OP, because now you don’t have to explain anything to anyone in your family. They watched it first hand, he didn’t even have to be present to show what an arse he is. Don’t be embarrassed.

Thanks all. I just feel such an idiot for giving him a second chance. I’ve learnt my lesson now, there is no going back from this.
I think as some of you have said he had no intention to meet them and has set this up. Also wondering if he’s been stringing me along so I wouldn’t apply for CMS.
From now on I will make it very clear that any communication moving forward is only regarding dc (that’s if I ever hear from him again).

I've googled but still don't understand that name, what am I missing?

Op, at least you have found out for certain now.

Don't let him wheedle his way back in. No good will come of it.

Ditch this man now. He will hurt you terribly in the future. Get out now. How many red flags do you need? In fact, he may have already ditched you - if so, it’s a lucky escape, OP.

So does he pay anything towards your child? Who had to pay for cot, pram, nappies, clothes etc?

Apply for CMS immediately.

He's shown you who he is, don't take him back again. There's nothing you can do about him being the father of your child but I wouldn't be too surprised if he's one of those guys who wants to be in and out of their childs life.

Whether you have a child together or not, the behaviour is unacceptable. Chuck this one back and get child maintenance sorted.

Send him a link to the court approved parenting app (neither side can delete so it keeps a good record of him flaking out of him cancelling to see his child), then block him on everything.

Start cms.

If he wants to see the baby tell him he needs to sort out court ordered access due to his behaviour. His words cannot be trusted.

Look up DARVO as he was using this over the meal situation, and is classic behaviour with abusive, controlling men. Which is why it's best to have everything court ordered. He will fuck with your head, AND fuck with the child's head.

Who have a baby with him and him not meeting your family is what made you break up with him?

Is there another massive thing you have left out?

Same here, I don't understand either.

Did his family turn up too?
Did you have to cancel them.Very sorry this happened to you.
He doesn't get to come around to your place when it suits him.
Hope you feel better soon.

Now that you have mentioned you have a child together, I would advise you to be civil with him, however never give him another chance for a relationship - he does not appear to be committed or reliable.

Also, if he wants to meet your family again for baby's sake leave it to him to arrange.

Don't waste anymore time on him x

What an absolute fucking mess.

I would apply for CMS. Keep him blocked but set up a completely separate email address and tell him all communication has to come through there and is only for discussing matters relating to your child. Then you can just look at the email as and when you need and don't need the hassle of him calling or WhatsApping you. Something tells me he won't be sticking around.

OP, you are a thousand times too good for him. Keep him blocked and only communicate through email re your baby. I wouldn't have him in my home again either. As a pp said let him take you to court if he wants to have contact. At least by this awful behaviour he has shown his true colours.

Hes an American film director famous for making films with a big plot twist. The Sixth Sense with Bruce Willis probably the most famous.

@Bogginsthe3rd this is for you to explain 😂

@DirtyNumbAngel thank you!

@bluewatermelon I've got it now 😂

Pull yourself together. Put a CMS claim in, set up an email account and send it to him to say all correspondence regarding baby is to go through this and block the waste of space.

Also whilst you might prefer it for the moment, think about where he could possibly have his contact time in the future. Relative house, his parents? You don't have to have him coming to your space.

Is he on the birth certificate?

Chances that op has worked with M. Night Shyamalan are very slim. It wasn’t a question, it was a joke. Because op’s drip feed was as complicated as a M. Night Shyamalan film basically. His films are known for having twists.

You must have felt mortified OP. But you're a decent person for giving him a chance. He blew it, so it's on him to explain to your DC one day.

Keep him blocked, apply for CMS and let him take you to court for access. Stop enabling his shitty behaviour because if he can treat his DC's mother like this, he'll do the same to them. Dust yourself down and move forwards

Sounds like he engeneered the whole thing to embarrass you.

That's what narcisissts like to do.

They need to ve the centre of attention, hense the 'I'm going to be late'.

Never let him in your home again. He's fucked it for himself. Let him go to court for child custody. (He wont actually want it if he gets it anyway, he'll just pretend to then not actually show up).

He is a flaky, spineless weasel and you don’t need him.
Claim child maintenance, keep all future communication about DC in writing and don’t look back.