Blindsided by H

[Gingerloaf]

So my ‘DH’ has been grumpy for a few weeks but says it’s my fault.
Today - out of the blue he tells me he has been seeing someone for 2 months. I had no idea - I told him to leave which he has done
Packed his bags leisurely and left

We have been married for over 25 years. Kids grown up etc

I have seen advice on here before and never in a million years thought I would need it - but suddenly it’s me that has this news. I understand also why previous posters don’t give too many details because for some weird reason she may be on here ( daft thought but there you go) and yes I have name changed

Your advice on the matter is very welcome
I can’t remember but somewhere on here someone referred to a ‘script’ that people use when they leave or are getting ready to leave - I would be interested to see it if anyone has it
I think I have been arch manipulated by ‘DH’

Thanks for reading

I remember thinking once ' out of the frying pan into the fire ' :)

Merry divorcée one day @Gingerloaf

I've just found a film on Netflix which I intend to watch when OH goes to bed 🤣🤣 it's had such good reviews.

"Good Luck to You, Leo Grande (2022) - IMDb" https://m.imdb.com/title/tt13352968/?ref_=nm_flmg_job_1_cred_t_4

It's about a widow who discovers passion for the first time after her husband has gone

@Gingerloaf

"I am getting back to being me in my full glory."
💖💖💖💖💖💖!!!! I know it ain't over til it's over, but this is wonderful to hear.

Also glad to hear that there's been a spot of (well earned) 'bother' down on 'Primrose Lane'. Sometimes life just makes you smile despite your current situation, right? And sorry to hear that you (apparently?) had to call the police at some point. But yay! for the understanding officers.

Thank you @MillyCentTap - we are just fine, just as we are

My mum shocked me when she said ‘ you’ll meet someone new when you least expect it’
I told her it was the last thing on my mind and we have never had that conversation in our lives before - her total optimism that life will go on and ‘marco’ is out there - the things you think you will never talk to your mother about
Both my kids are keen that I get out there one day and find someone - again such a weird conversation
But that is life - we just have to deal with it as it hurtles towards us

and yes, H is miserable - he’s finding that his W was actually quite a woman and life will never be the same again 🤔

I know it’s a bit of an ugly aspect of humans to enjoy someone getting their just desserts but I am feeling so happy that he is miserable!!

How did you find out that your H is miserable @Gingerloaf?

@CarleyBup - I know what you mean ….. but let’s be honest it was 6 weeks before he finally clocked he made the wrong choice and that the grass is distinctly Astro turf on the other side
Much as I don't want to tempt karma by enjoying the reverse shit show - I am grateful to the universe for demonstrating that ‘it wasn’t me’ …..he really did make some weird choices and I am doing just fine

I think it's human nature when a partner behaves this badly. I've known people fall out of love who counselling, whatever just doesn't work so they divorce. This is the honourable way.

You can of course fall into a crush with someone else at any time, that's not love and will pass. To not be honest but sneak around gives me the ick. As for having sex with two people that really is beyond the pale.

So yes I'm guilty of a quiet smirk

Of course he is miserable. What do you think, that having a 70 year old pensioner for a new lover will be a walk in the sunset?

Please don't make comments like this.
I agree that this woman is a cheating nightmare, willing to have an affair with a married man. For that she deserves every censure.
But not for her age.

I'm glad to hear you're doing OK, you've inspired me. It's not very often on these threads that men get their karma, happy to hear it's happening to him. Cheering you on x

Logically, I hear what you're saying. Emotionally, it's a bitter pill to swallow.

I mentioned the people hammering on about divorce laws and negating her pain, not breaking any laws. I posted my support to the OP because she said she found those post crass and unhelpful so she stopped posting. So yes, I think people should stop upsetting her and derailing her thread. This is about supporting the OP.

I also apologize OP as I don't want to derail your thread either. You are an amazing woman!

I mentioned the people hammering on about divorce laws and negating her pain, not breaking any laws. I posted my support to the OP because she said she found those post crass and unhelpful so she stopped posting. So yes, I think people should stop upsetting her and derailing her thread. This is about supporting the OP.

Our previous house owners both widowed, he married in haste this lady who's turned out to be as mad as a box of frogs.

The house here had been beautifully renovated by a builder. They bought it. She had the new kitchen and bathroom ripped out and replaced. The previous ones were so much nicer.

The beautiful garden she had a weeping willow (which was in a boggy area and mopped up gallons of water) and other mature trees cut down. Every border was covered in golden gravel

They put in a lovely orangery on wooden stilts which will rot, the decking is rotting already.

She didn't want any of the furniture she bought for the house so we got some of it.

She has done this three more times. I'm told she's run out of money now so is sending him out to work again. Poor sod is long retired.

OK, only because what? Being a pensioner is a bad thing or a man in his early 60 leaving a 55 year wife of 40 years is really bad....

I think women in the UK are ageist on their own selves. I am late 40s and don't feel offended when young ladies think I am old. Of course for them I am

Because women (and men) don't need to be mocked because of their age.
That's all.
Nothing else.
The OW in this thread deserves every censure.
But not just because she's a pensioner.

My son was 44 this year. He said when I set off for university you were 44 and I thought you so old. So why don't I feel old? 😁😁

@Gingerloaf I'm not usually a believer in karma but glad to hear H's chickens are coming home to roost!

I think posters should hold back on the legal advice - you have a solicitor for that!

Glad to see you holding up so well. You got this! x

@Gingerloaf Great news your doing well. Also listen to Mother, she's so right. You, ll meet someone when you least expect it who will treat you like the Queen you are. 💐💐💐.

@Gingerloaf you just carry on doing what you are doing! it is obviously all getting to him and thank god for Karma!! the other name should be come-uppance!! just touch base now and again to let us know your are holding up well and also let us know how deep that gutter is which he is sliding down into!

Schadenfreude is a good thing sometimes.
Am wishing you well, op.

I had my first child at 44! I felt old then but not so much now I have a toddler running around.

Astro turf 🤣 I did actually laugh out loud at that.

I appreciate that you don't want to tempt karma by enjoying H's situation so just leave that to us. We'll schadenfreude the shit out of his shit show 😁