Blindsided by H

[Gingerloaf]

So my ‘DH’ has been grumpy for a few weeks but says it’s my fault.
Today - out of the blue he tells me he has been seeing someone for 2 months. I had no idea - I told him to leave which he has done
Packed his bags leisurely and left

We have been married for over 25 years. Kids grown up etc

I have seen advice on here before and never in a million years thought I would need it - but suddenly it’s me that has this news. I understand also why previous posters don’t give too many details because for some weird reason she may be on here ( daft thought but there you go) and yes I have name changed

Your advice on the matter is very welcome
I can’t remember but somewhere on here someone referred to a ‘script’ that people use when they leave or are getting ready to leave - I would be interested to see it if anyone has it
I think I have been arch manipulated by ‘DH’

Thanks for reading

If we are going this far back how about Nancy Sinatra “These boots are made for walking” especially the line “ these boots are gonna walk all over you “ 😀 🥾

Perfect song for you The Beautiful South -I Need a Little Time.

well done!

The song I think of when people get a bit of just desserts is by Timbuk 3 - Future's so Bright (I gotta wear shades)

I'd add Bulletproof, La Roux

Vintage Louise London, cry me a river (now you say you're sorry...).
I've got a feeling Sam Smith recored it.

As did vintage Aerosmith!

Hopefully not derailing the thread too much, but another good organisation who will take furniture and small items is Emmaus UK. I love the history of how the organisation started - https://emmaus.org.uk/about-us/history/

Many thanks - lawyer helpful today and I have a lot of actions to do
I really won’t say in here until complete - hope you all understand

He is being deliberately obtuse on texts re money and the accounts and mansplaining the bleeding obvious- demanding to know what reduction in council tax I have ( I have not bothered to respond he can google it or ask his shag budgie)
This is all to distract - some think he is having an actual breakdown but frankly I am
past caring. The pain and stress of this is keeping me focused on the end goal - a new life and none of this shitshow

He thought the grass was greener and found out …..it isn’t and is in panic mode and making the situation worse. I still think the law is rubbish in these situations ( but as my lawyer has used a few salty words on my behalf I think I will be ok. Poor but ok after the legal fees)

I will update when I can but as I have said before - some of this needs to remain a mystery.
I did get a letter from the post office saying he is redirecting his post to a confidential locations for 6 months ( he must be confident haha) so one less reason to be here

Shag Budgie! Omg… has just induced Covid coughing fi! (It’s 2am here!) Brilliant description!!! Bravissimo!!!

Glad the lawyer sorted. A hitman/Patio Build Combo probably cheaper.

Shag Budgie is one of the best things I've seen on Mumsnet in a looooong time.

Been lurking on your thread, OP, and cheering you on at every turn. What. A. Woman.

Shag Budgie - you are incredible OP

Shag Budgie, noun.
Lots of feathers, not much breast and eventually sh*ts on you.

A great song to get the rage out is 'Killing in the name of' by Rage Against the Machine.

Especially the 'fuck you I won't do what you tell me' and motthhhhafuckaaaaaaaaa at the end screamed at the top of your lungs 🤘🤘🤘

Sending best wishes to you. The first lawyer meeting is horribly sobering. Take care of yourself.

😅

Good luck with all that you've to do @Gingerloaf.

When you do your follow up post you need to call it Shag Budgie!

Another lurker just coming on to say how much I admire the way you are dealing with this, OP.
What an utter and complete fool he is to not to have known what he had. You on the other hand, deserve much better. Maybe a shag tiger!

Winning quote of the day 🥰

You have all made me laugh - I did drop a hint earlier on about some slightly old fashioned things she had.

I do not wish to upset anyone or derail this thread ( some people love budgies) but I rang him once and the noise was deafening- and he admitted to the 2 birds in a cage! I have to say I was gobsmacked- no offence to anyone but I do not know people who keep such birds and perhaps I have a perceived bias but …. We all know Marco would have parrots on his summer holiday shirt and that’s it ( maybe budgie smugglers at a push and we would have to have words about that) it conjures up a certain approach to life that I am not familiar with.

H is also very health conscious and everyone says they spread a specific disease.
Anyhow the obtuse texts carried on today - all to convince me to go down the rabbit hole and avoid what I actually asked for
Anyhow - the 2 major jobs that needed doing in the house which he was refusing to help with,( all about control) have been done by friends in a matter of 20 mins and paid for with fish and chips

It is emotionally exhausting- and it wasn’t me that went for a shag again and again and again.

Good! He’ll be disappointed that you managed to outsource the jobs and his services are no longer required.

Oh he will be annoyed when he realises you've got the jobs sorted. I think he might be realising that he needs you/house much more than you need him.

Tough shit to him. Onwards and upwards @Gingerloaf

OP you are amazing. I have little to offer as advice given the sage words of pps but could I recommend ‘Yes’ by McAlmont and Butler for your Feck Em playlist? Perfect sentiment and a wonderful performance.

Pretty sure Marco would have parrots in the trees outside his beach house in the Caribbean.

I hate the concept of caged birds, its so cruel.

Me too. I refuse to have them.