He calls on every break!

[rantaroo]

Just looking for a little rant and other people's perspective

My partner gets three breaks a day at work and on every break he calls me. Don't get me wrong, it's endearing that he wants to speak to me on his breaks but we live together so I would much rather he has his day, I have mine and then we debrief over dinner or something!

So today he's got me on the phone as he's buying his lunch and I've stopped what I'm doing for what I felt was quite a "pointless" phone call. He then calls me when he's on his way home. I don't mind knowing he's on his way back but he finishes the same time every day so I'm like just speak to me when you get here!

I guess I'm finding it a bit frustrating that I'm stopping my day 4 times for these calls that I don't deem necessary, and then it takes me a moment to get back into the swing of whatever it was I was doing.

Am I totally over reacting or would this bug you too?!

I would actually end a relationship for this. It would drive me barmy. Particularly if you had told him how you feel and he ignored it. I'd be encouraging him to ring his parents or siblings for a chat and to spread the love.

A quick WhatsApp to say hes on his way and if anything needs picking up from the shop is all you need

I have a colleague who's husband does this he can't go a single day without ringing her at least twice about nothing, including when she works from home. It's always struck me as a bit controlling, sometimes she won't come out for lunch with us as she just sits on her own on the phone to him. I don't get it, unless there is something you need to ask then why keep ringing and not just talk when you both get home?? It would drive me bonkers.

No, I couldn’t stand that personally. I don’t want to talk for the sake of talking. I wouldn’t want to be constantly asked how I am and what I’m up to every few hours. Mentally it’s like the walls are closing in on me.

Ask him to message rather than call, he’s interrupting. This would drive me nuts. My DH only calls if it’s urgent and vice versa. I’m unavailable anyway most of the time as a teacher, as is he, emergency worker. I’d go crazy if he tried to call 4 times a day for a ‘nothing’ call.

Don’t answer. He’ll get the message.

he sounds very insecure. You need to keep an eye on this one!

Don’t you work? How on earth do you both have time for this? I don’t even look at my phone at work. This sounds tedious in the extreme

This would drive me mad! I hate talking on the phone - I just don’t have time or inclination for banal chit chat.
Can you tell him about this really handy little app that he can type all his chitter chatter into and you can read and reply when you’ve got time… think its called WhatsApp 😬🥴

It maybe a bit frustrating but one day in the future, you'd love to hear his voice if he wasn't around x

It would drive me insane. The sheer neediness apart from anything else.

he won’t answer the phone while driving (despite handsfree)

I like him already! He’s right not to use the phone while he’s driving. It’s dangerous because it takes your attention, and handsfree doesn’t reduce the risk much.

My ex used to do this and it always felt like catching up on me and he was cheating the whole time 😂

I suppose it depends on the relationship, how is he when you are together. How long have you been together.

I think men get a lot of put downs when they don’t show effort but when they do they’re ‘controlling’ - my other half will call me as and when but if I’m busy I’ll say.

I'm in the camp that thinks he's keeping tabs on you, making sure he knows where you are all the time and who with. It's controlling. If you didn't live together I could understand all the calls and thihk it was sweet but not when you see him every night.

Have you made it really clear to him that his calls are not welcomed and cause you irritation. And possibly that you are getting into trouble taking numerous calls during work time. That needs to be the starting point,

If he's that dense he continues to repeatedly ignore your wishes, I'd question his ability to hold down an adult relationship.

Tell him.

Tell him u would prefer to be in.work mode during the day and leave chat for the evening

FFS! There was a woman on here yesterday complaining that she thought her DH who was the stay at home parent was having an affair because he asked her to stop phoning on every break; and everyone on her agreed that he must be hiding something.

A man does it and everyone says it's annoying and controlling!

Please MN make your mind up!

Tell him not to or don't answer your phone. In the good old days before mobiles we actually made it through a day without talking or texting a partner. I know it's quite shocking to read that but thankfully we managed to still have good relationships.

oh clingy

Unlimited minutes have a lot to answer for.

About 30 years ago DH rang for a chat because he was free. "Sorry darling, flat out, can't talk, will.call you when I have a minute" which I did at about 7pm. He was slightly irked and I had to explain "you do realise that I have a professional job too and sometimes have priorities that aren't you". Never did it again.

So many women seem ring their dh's from the supermarket. So often I've overheard "alright Paul, I'm looking at the lamb, shall I get the chops or the shoulder?" My DH would think I was nuts but he isn't controlling.

There's quite a few Mumsnetters, and we don't all think or feel the same way about everything.
Men & women are different too, as are the circumstances (not that I saw the other thread).

Back to this thread, I would change my number if I had to put up with this. I can't imagine even one day of that many pointless phone calls. But I'm probably too busy, too independent and like to appear focused & professional at work.

Same. Sounds awful 😞

My husband and I call each other constantly during the day. I'll call him if I get in the car and he'll call in between patients. We just talk a lot and don't have a lot of time to talk when we're home. It's not controlling on either side we just like to talk! So I don't think it's a controlling thing rather than he just wants to have a chat!

This would drive me insane