DH message. For me?

[lopdedop]

DH left home very (too?) early today to go to the nearest city (4hr journey) as he is flying abroad tomorrow. He's staying at an airport hotel. He arrived well before lunch. He needs to be at the airport at 5am (we're not in UK). Sent a message to say he'd arrived. About 2 hrs later sent a message. "I'm in room 38".
Am I over thinking? He's never sent me his room number before?
Is that strange? I'd really appreciate opinions.

prostitute most likely.

It’s weird he is not picking up his calls, I don’t buy the silent phone.

Well, I usually tell my spouse which room I am in, in a hotel even if he is in a different country as if he can’t ring me on my phone in an emergency he can get me on the hotel phone. So maybe try that.

Garlictwist. Thanks. I did just think it was an odd message. He's staying there just 1 night and wanted to get there as early as possible. I have no reason to have his room number. I can't get there, and we have our own phones.
A girl came into town 3 months or so ago. She was over familiar with him. They played games together and everytime I moved she went to sit very close to him. They huddled together in deep conversation excluding everyone else. It was not a nice feeling.

I spoke calmly to him a few days later and explained that their relationship could easily be misconstrued by others and that made me uncomfortable.
This resulted in him spending hours one evening telling her that I was worried, insecure etc. I felt that was disloyal. He could have just put his own boundaries in place.
She then talked to me about how well she knows him and I realised he'd gone into great depth about my past, my fears and insecurities. I have been furious. We rowed. He threw our rings and told me he might as well "Go for it" now.
Then he left for 4 days. I thought we'd sorted things out. But I am so bashed by all of this. I'm feeling so low. He's not an obvious flirt. Has no form for cheating. But I feel something is so wrong. We are newlyweds.

I will call again at 2am our time. He should be getting up for his flight then.

I really appreciate your replies. I haven't felt able to talk about it. It helps to get things straight in my mind. Thanks so much.

Could also be that he's sending her the room number so she can call his room directly, bypassing the hotel switchboard - he may be planning a long phone conversation ("phone sex"?) while he has privacy and wants to keep it off of his mobile records - in case you see an unusual call (or in case his work does if they pay his mobile bill)?

It really isn't looking good @lopdedop 😔 your definitely not going off your head, he is being an arse of a man. Id be looking at getting everything sorted and making a plan to leave. He has checked out your marriage by the sounds of it

Call the hotel and ask reception to call the room or knock on the door with a message or you wanting to speak with him - do it asap!

And do it later as well

Agree with others, it's not adding up. The way he's behaved with her as well indicates he's overly invested. Why is he so close to her? Who is she to him in terms of their history? And why did he feel the need to tell her your personal business

Don't be daft!! The OW never answers phone in hotel (unless she is staying in that room rather than playing in that room!)
Affair rule No 3!!

Oh dear

I am not happy with this friendship he is having and the way he goes about talking to her everything about you and blaming you. This is a man who doesn't have your back and isn't a team mate with you. Also him wanting to get to the hotel early and then sending room number when he has never done it before and you are not joining him is weird. Also if my DH threw our/his rings it would be a step too far as it's him threatening our marriage.
I think you need to sit down with him when he is back from his trip and have a frank conversation about what kind of life you two want as a married couple, what behaviour is acceptable and what your boundaries are, how you expect to be treated.

Ask for her number bc you need to contact her urgently

*to continue: talk to him about if he wants to be in the marriage and if he has been faithful and get to the bottom of everything. Lay out your expectations for him if he wants to continue the marriage (assuming he hasn't cheated and you want to continue).

Or it’s a prostitute….. may not be the younger colleague…..

I’ve just had a thought - could this be to punish you?

You said he threw rings (how plural, did he take yours from you?) and said he said he may as well go for it (this implies that he's admitting he’s attracted to her, but anyway) and he’s told you he’s getting there for lunchtime but knows you know flight is 5am - the message saying his room number could have been deliberately sent to you so you go out your head with worry over this - and it sounds like it’s been working like a charm as you have been.

You’ve said several times about feeling you’re going crazy or your head is all over the place etc - this is gaslighting!

So even if he isn’t having a physical affair, the fact he’s playing with your mind is a massive red flag isn’t it.

But her not being out is a bad sign and I’d be doing everything to reach her at home and on her mobile if I was you.

It’s easy to say, but if you are able to I’d seriously think about leaving this person - I can’t see the situation between you improving especially as you’re newly weds!

💐x

Who is is going away with? Work or leisure?
My ex went away for a week with his affair bint and told me it was a work trip.
Not saying that's the case, however my ex was the sort of bloke people claimed 'he'd never do that'

Takes one to know one?

It really doesn’t look good @lopdedop In these set of circumstances I would conclude affair or escort ordered to his room.

Do you have children? Can you see a solicitor this week while he is away - just to find out where you stand in case the worst is true?

If there were no kisses on the message that seems more likely. Its a very blunt message to someone you're meeting for an affair

Hardly, it's basic common sense not to answer a phone in a place you're not supposed to be surely

I hope that was tongue-in-cheek

Intrigued to know what the first 2 rules are

It sounds dodgy OP but I think you need to tread carefully here. DH always sends me his room number like that so he is available in case of emergency, that's our system. If he did msg innocently and returns home to a wife who is angry, upset, accusing him of something he didn't do, that will cause a rift in itself and you won't come out of it well. Phone him first thing and ask about why he sent it and tell him your concerns, it might be easily explained and set your mind at ease. Or he might tell a massive lie but only you can gauge that, if you feel he is lying then you need to investigate further.

I think number 1 might be don’t accidentally text your wife your hotel room number thinking you’re texting the OW?