Should I sent the paragraph to him?

[serenabar]

I wrote a message on my notes for my ex. I wanna send it but at the same time im scared too.. this is the message:
im scared he will leave me on delivered, or that he will tell me he is with someone else now.. but at the same time i wanted him to know this..

You probably won’t open this, just like you didn’t open the yesterday one. But I am gonna say it anyway.. I never expected that we would disappear from each other’s worlds. I never expected you would be okay with that. I never expected you would not care what I have to say to you, I never expected you would ignore me like that.
But they say men are quite simple.. “the way a man treats you is exactly how he feels about you. If he wants to talk to you, he will reach out. If he wants to see you, he will make plans with you. And if he acts like he doesn't care, then he doesn't care.”
Yes, looks like you stopped caring. I was there when you needed me, I answered all your questions and when I mentioned I was hurt too - you disappeared. Yes, you showed me once again my feelings are not valid. I am just someone from now another universe for you. You seem like you are doing just fine, like you are forgetting all about me. I wish it was that easy for me too. But then again.. this new you is not the man I fall inlove with. He would never do anything like that, he wouldn’t just delete me from his life. And that man is gone. He no longer exists and I gotta acept that. Its a new you that I don’t recognize, I just don’t know him. It hurts now but the sun will rise again.
No one can take away the person who you were when we were in love.
Not even you. That person can stay in my heart for as long as I decide.
I think he loved me.
Even when you hurt me multiple times, I still didn’t leave. I won the I love you more.
You put me in enough breakups for a lifetime. And I still wouldn’t walk away from you. Cause not for once I looked at another guy, not for once I accepted any follow request. Cause for me that will be offensive thing for my man. I’m pure and I’m loyal. When I love - I love hard. And i know cause when you want something badly you just don’t give up. Everything can be sorted. Absolutely everything. Of course if it’s wanted.
I guess I got my closure too.
No one is going to want something and let it slip away. That's not how the human heart works.

How are you doing @serenabar

Hi! Thank you for caring about me! 🥺🫶🏻
I have times where I feel hopeful and that is for the best but most of the time I am desperate and no will in doing anything. 😢 I mean I sometimes see my friends and we have fun but they are not that available and then I root in bed.

What is happening to your career while you are moping around?

Apart from seeing friends, what interests do you have? If none to speak of, find some. Read some of the books you haven't read.

Go out, do stuff, grab life and make something with the gifts you've been given!

Yeah what do you do as a job? What’s the dream x

I don’t know what is wrong with me as everyone has everything figured out but I don’t. 😭 the only thing that excited me was modeling stuff, I tried briefly and I gave up, I am just very shy 😭
i do read a lot, and I am gonna try a new sport, I am not very sporty though
i only enjoy my pilates and going for walks
I don’t know how to figure out my dream job 😭

i think of going to therapy..

Therapy is always a good idea IMO.

Sis nobody has their shit all figured at 22. You don’t have to - just little goals 💕

Yes to a therapist - but after youve had a few sessions also consider a career coach.

And while you're trying to set this up, why not brainstorm the clever clogs in the Work forum? If you set out your stall, you might get some useful advice.

I made an appointment for therapy but its at the end of the month..
I journaled for first time today which of course made me cry.
and I can’t understand the exercise in the The Sixth pillars of self esteem:
If I bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today—
i don’t understand what i have to write

It's years since I read Dr Barden's book, but looking at this sentence:
"bring 5 percent more awareness to my activities today",
I would interpret it along the lines of
"If I think a little more deeply about the implications or potential consequences of what I have to do today, or how I react to things that happen to me, I might.........

You may find this easier to do this retrospectively, i.e. about what you did and what happened to you yesterday.
For instance, It could be simple things like choosing to go for a walk or not.
Or stopping to talk to an acquaintance who greeted you with a friendly smile, instead of nodding and walking on.
Or deciding to read a book instead of watching TV.

There are lots of decisions we make every day, mostly very small decisions, which if we are a little more conscious of their implications and the choices we have, can make us more aware and potentially lead to better choice. Even if its just the choice of an apple over a Twix.

However, don't get too hung up about these exercises. Most of them are probably meant to be top of mind sentence completions rather than deep thinking.

Christ dont please. Its utterly cringeworthy. You sound suoer needy and you will so regret it once you recover from the hurt

Have some respect for yourself. Block and dont message again ...ever ...

Guys..
he texted..
im shaking
and i haven’t opened the message
but its
“I hope you are well and eating good”

Ignore.
Do NOT respond.
Go do something. Anything.

Go for a walk.
Clean the bathroom.
Meet with a friend.
Go to the library and borrow War & Peace or Middlemarch.
Work out/go to the gym.
Clean the kitchen.
Apply for a new job.
Go for another walk.

Anything........ but do not respond.

Just block him already

Stop the naval gazing, block him and go and start a new hobby.

They always do this. It’s so predictable.

Please don’t respond. Think about how far you have come in your recovery. You’re in control now.

There was a great thread on here recently about a guy who finished with the OP over text and she showed amazing restraint in not texting back when he came back crawling.

I’ll see if I can find it.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/3800477-Dumped-by-text?page=1

Here you go- read this instead of replying!

I’m so sorry you hurt so bad but please pay attention to the majority of pp and block him - he really sounds no good for you.
He wouldn’t hurt you if he really really loved you and it sounds like he playing you like a cat with a mouse.
You’re very young and you’ve got your whole life ahead of you - it sounds like if you got back together the same thing will happen again and again, knocking your self esteem until you become entirely dependent on him and then he will treat you however he likes - you must know you can do so much better and end up with a healthy happy relationship … but not this one!

Do not respond to that message!

Go for a walk, get out of the house, do something but whatever you do, do not respond!

He's not concerned he's stringing you a long, if he wanted you he would be with you, all he's doing is keeping his options open.

You are worth more than that. Block him.

he is only messaging you to see if you are still on his string to pull back when he wants. This man does not care about you- you must care about yourself. If you are compelled to respond (and I really wish you would not) please say that you are doing great and about to go out to XXXX with a special friend.

good luck

Isn't he a predictably boring individual? He's wasting your time Serena, don't let him worm his way back!

Do you realize you come across as judgy and unkind?

Also, you are responding to the original post from 3 weeks ago. @serenabar has been working through her feelings with the advice and support of a lot of posters.

Even if you don't RTFT, at least read Serena's. If you do, you'll see she has been working on her self-esteem and trying to move on.

The ex has texted today and people have been urging Serena to delete without reading. That's the current situation, and that's what your comments now should reflect.

Odd, eating good? There must be a back story to that like he knows you have strange eating habits or something. Otherwise it's reads that he actually expects that you're so devastated you can't eat. True or not, he's got some cheek. Under no circumstances confirm that you've had trouble eating, sleeping or any issues at all. Best response is no response. Don't try and start things up again, you've got through the worst of it, any contact is a backwards step.

Yeah, he knows that I have trouble with food when Im sad..