What harsh words from others have stuck with you for life?

[blackbutterfly22]

''You really aren't very photogenic, are you?' (Said by my ex husband about 25 years ago and still haunts me to this day when someone takes my photo).

'You'll never find anyone again' . (Said when I got divorced 8 years ago and I truly now believe that there is something wrong with me as despite dating lots, no one seems to want to be my special person.)

Anyone have comments from others that keep rearing their heads throughout life?

Fuck me.
I had some nasty stuff said to me by my (deceased) bastard abusive parents, but this thread made me tear up. 😢
Live the best life for YOURSELVES, beautiful people.
Just sharing this shit proves how resilient you all really are.
❤️❤️❤️

"you aren't good enough to join the choir" - music teacher. I then didn't sing again for years which is a shame as I'm now in a band and am actually a talented singer.

"She doesn't even have anything up there!" - my grandma telling my grandad and male cousins and brother how I covered myself up after she walked into my room while I was topless aged 13. She made me so self conscious about my bust I later had surgery.

"Your toe is long enough to be two" - a man I had a date with, which then gave me a complex about my feet

"Only three As?" - my dad about my GCSE results, I was never good enough for him no matter what I did.

And so many comments about my sticky out ears and my birthmark from so many people. I had surgery on my ears but can't do anything about my birthmark.

I agree with this. I hope it's been therapeutic for some to post here. Know it's not you, it's always always them. Know that you are better than them in every way. Inadequate, insecure, jealous people make comments like all the ones I've read here. It says more about all of them than it does about you

When I was sexually assaulted my husband said " You brought it on yourself because you did nothing to prevent it from happening. "

"God, she's really doing my head in now." Said by "best friend" when we were 15. We were on a day out and I'd been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for the past year. I was excited at feeling well enough to join them and got hyper. For years I withdrew and stayed quiet due to that one little sentence.

"Effort, changedusername." When I asked why another friend, about 5 years later, always chose to visit other friends instead of me. I wasn't worth the effort, and she didn't mind letting me know that.

"Sometimes, when I look at you, I wish it was you who had died and not your brother." Thanks Mum. Never forgot that one.

12 hours after giving birth, my thankfully now dead ex FIL; you've piled the beef on; I left hospital in my size 10 jeans!!! nasty little man.

I'm aghast that many comments are by supposed 'DH', why oh why are these women staying with these utter cunts?

My sister called me fat when i was a teenager i was size 10.
I got really upset and cried in my room. My dad came and i thought he wanted to comfort me. He said i should apologise to her for calling her a b. Its not her fault im unhappy with my body and if i dont like it i can change it.
I did change it and have never been that “fat” again. I think if it wasnt for my dads words i would have forgotten about my sisters comment long ago. But his words really stung. Felt like he agreed with her.

I have another, this time by my dad's dad (dad's parents had divorced before I was born). It was the last time that man ever saw us and the only time I ever witnessed my dad lose his temper as he man-handled the pig out of the door.

It was 4 months after the accident that left me with bad scars on my face and the 1st time that man had seen me since....."well as if she wasn't ugly enough before, she's hideous now" whilst 9 year old me was stood there. It took years before I could look at myself in the mirror and not hear his voice.

To this day I will never understand how 2 of the most vile people I have ever known, produced such a wonderful caring man that was my dad.

That is ridiculous and so old fashioned. It's a different subject, but we didn't blink at the presence of much older students on our courses who were in their 40s in 50s, whereas most of us were teens at the time.

My NHS therapist (also a psychiatric nurse) when I talked about the "inventive" punishments my mother used on us.

"You're nearly smiling". (Yes, because I'm dying of embarrassment).

"I'm not sure what you're telling me is true. I think you're being disingenuous".

I shall never, ever see a counsellor or talk about my childhood with anyone again. Massive, fucking bitch.

Sounds like an utter cunt. So sorry you had that experience. Unfortunately there are a lot of unprofessional therapists out there.

I was given an appointment with an NHS therapist once during a period of acute stress/anxiety (just graduated and had started a demanding new job with a 3.5 hour round commute). I travelled a long way to get there after work on a weekday evening and when I arrived they told me the appointment was cancelled. I could have cried and told her, probably with quite a shaky voice, I was upset they had done this. Her response: (peering at me with tilted head) Are you always like this Sarah?

Horrible bitch. I would never get an NHS therapist as there is no fear you will stop paying them and no consequences for being gaslighting arseholes.

@Frith2013 @Booboobedooo please tell me you reported them?

My Dad, when I was 14, in response to some teenage angst and rejecting of a pair of jeans, told me that my arse looked big because the rest of me was so skinny.

This was in the nineties when, unfortunately, skinny with no bum was the aspirational body shape; and 14 year old me couldn't hold on to the "rest of me was skinny" part because I was too busy obsessing over the arse-being-big part.

My dad isn't a bad man; I don't think he has any idea that those words gave me a lifelong shame of my body. I'm actually pretty certain he would have no recollection of this at all if I asked him. It's crazy how a throwaway comment can have so much impact.

@XChrome thank you , I have often thought of joining a local choir or having a few singing lessons , mostly I sing in the car or with my granddaughter 😁

Yes I did actually!. A few who is this? And a couple of laughing faces to two others 🤣

I am speech impaired. I keep thinking about this incident from years ago today.

My "friend" was doing like a Muppet character voice when the other "friend" said :

Does SHE know you do that voice?

Meaning me, I was behind a wall and couldn't be seen

I did know he did that voice, I just didn't know it was meant to be me

That whole group in uni was extremely toxic often deliberately callous and nasty. I regret associating with them, I feel like I was the laughing stock.

The majority are now teachers in sought after schools with MN name recognition.

I have no doubt that they still enjoy mocking others

@Frith2013

My shit NHS therapist told me I was irrevocably damaged.

This thread has reminded me of the way the judges (particularly Simon & Louis) would speak to the contestants on Xfactor. Telling people they were deluded, bad, overweight, ugly , too old. Omg it was horrific, for those poor people to have everyone they know and millions of other people sniggering and laughing at them must have been awful. Thankfully the world seems to be moving in a better direction now. At least that wouldn't be an acceptable way to speak to people on tv nowadays.

I've had a few insults in my day too.
At 19 I was told by a woman to go and get myself a personality.

I was laughed at by my xbf sister for wanting a particular job. She said I doubt you know anything about that line of work, sniggering away. I think she thought of me as a bimbo with no brains but I had a degree at that stage.

Another was made by a friend of the family who told me I looked amazing now having been so tubby and plain as a child. For an adult to speak like that about an innocent child is disgusting. I absolutely hate when people say anything about anyones weight, what makes them think their opinion is so important, if that person is a good human surely that is more important than how they look 🤬

being told by my mother that I was a mistake and I should not be here and she wasn’t putting her life on hold for me.
she also told me I had to iron my own clothes as I didn’t work in an office like my father and brother as I was a factory worker.
my wife just after we were married came in drunk we went to bed and she laughed and said is that all you’ve got, stayed with me for over 40 years,

My dad is a bit like this. He has a massive eating disorder as did his own mum. If you're not a size 8, you're obese. He has made comments about my son and I cut it off completely. My son is autistic and has combined type ADHD. He's a compulsive eater and is a bit overweight. Not as much as he would be if he were not so active and didn't have difficulty sitting still. My dad made me feel so fat when I was a skinny teen. It wasn't said in a vicious way at all, he thought he was helping me. It does stick in your head.

My mother, when I had been a lone parent for about 5 years and a TA for 4. "You've always been useless with children".

I could probably list over 100 comments from her but this one stuck with me because, even to me, it was completely bonkers.

Also, a screaming fit from her because I didn't want to watch the programme she had put on TV. (I didn't ask her to change it, just said it wasn't much good). The screaming fit was about how I hate all men and that I am gay. I'm not gay.

The doctor telling me at eight years old that I'd I didn't lose weight I'd die. I'd gone in with my aunt, I was away from home, I had a really bad cough and had already had one set of antibiotics. I wasn't that fat as a kid, I had the loose kind of body you have with connective tissue disorders (lipoedema). I am still not dead even though I got a heck of a lot fatter.

Nicholas Phillips telling me indirectly he'd go out with me if I wasn't fat. Even then I knew that was a shitty thing to say. I still don't think men are interested in me, even when that's not true.

DP mother to her friend "we're hoping he finds someone good enough to marry" about DP, we had been together several years and I had supported her when her DH was dying. Her friend just looked at me and started laughing at how upset I looked.

My sister " it's not the same with you, as real family is different" I am adopted and was seven at the time, there's a big age gap and her kids are the same age as me. She seemed to resent me being brought into the family and "taking" our mother's attention from her kids.

When I was 20 and my sister was 19, two people said in the space of a few months that my sister was the most beautiful person they had ever seen in real life, and "How did I cope?"

The tables turned eventually, as they always do....