He's gone quiet after sex

[Forfucksake84]

I've been on 3 dates with a guy I met online, and on the last date we slept together. He had been very consistent in his messages up until then with 'how was your day' type texts. The night after we had sex he texted saying he couldn't wait to see me again and I replied the next day asking when he was free. He said he was free this weekend and that I would have to let him know which day was best. (This was sunday) I didn't hear anything else from him like I usually would so I text him on Tuesday asking how his day was and letting him know that my children were ill and that I would have to confirm about the weekend if he still wants to meet up. He replied saying he still does and that we should just play it by ear re the children. So I said I would let him know. I've still not heard anything else from him...his communication level has definitely dropped off since Sunday morning...despite him seeming keen beforehand. What should my next move be?

Tale as old as time.

Move on @Forfucksake84 this is done

This is painful....

His response sounds exactly like mine when I was trying to wriggle out of a commitment, but without having the guts to say no.

Oh how bloody annoying. What a dick.

OP - any many who chooses a fucking BOOT SALE over a woman he's dating needs to be put in the bin.

He's not worthy of you,

Car boot sale over a shag. I'd be offended!!!

Agree. Though I’ll be honest - and as one who thought the OP should give him a chance - it sounds like a made up excuse because he’s seeing someone else Saturday and wants a free Sunday morning in case he gets lucky.

You were right to give him a chance OP but he’s shown his priorities - he’s not worth the headspace.

100% an excuse. How many chances are you going to give this user?

The writing is on the wall OP.

I can’t believe you were thinking of texting him “so you’re busy then?”

How old are you? 22?

Has no one taught you how men function?

If they want something they’ll go for it.

QED: He doesn’t want you.

And it’s not you OP. A lot of men are active on dating apps but they don’t want commitment, just sex.

It’s a common tale. He’s probably meeting up with his next 3 date shag tomorrow.

Yes he’s a shit but you can’t take sex back. Better to find the out earlier than later he’s a waste of space.

Surely everyone knows men do this?

Self-fulfilling prophecy

Yes. Love heart his message, don't reply. According to the women with low standards who told you it was great that he treated you that way, that will mean the ball is in his court.

Actually, just forget he exists and never respond to him again. Sorry, he's had a better offer.

He’s got his dog?
what did he do with his dog, on your other dates / when you had sex?
man’s an idiot.

He's been busy arranging another date while your kids have been ill this week. He's keeping you on the back burner in case she cancels

Sorry OP

Yep- this x a million.

Words are so easy to say and they bring instant dopamine. Actions are the true test of someone's feelings.

Everyone knows that some men do this sometimes. It's not a forgone conclusion or first assumption. Or, if it is, for you, you need to learn that there are many more respectful men than the ones you've met.

This is why I never slept with anyone so soon ( unless all i wanted was a one-nighter anyway, which has been known to happen). It really pays to get to know people better before trusting them.

Tbh the most hurtful thing is that it's made me question myself. Whether there's something unattractive/gross/boring about me that put him off...as he was initially very keen. Or am I just crap in bed. It's not really about him. I was enjoying dating him and liked him physically but wasn't sure he was long term relationship material myself. I would have continued seeing him to see where things went as this is the most dating action I've had in a year since being single. It certainly does nothing for the self esteem when someone goes cold on you, and I would feel like this whether I'd slept with him or not

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. It's such a cliche but some men really do just want sex and then want the thrill of the chase again. I chatted to a guy during lockdown who was pretty much professing his undying love for me for 3 months. Finally able to spend the night together, we had sex and he left. Didn't even sleep over and when I asked if we could be exclusive he said he wanted to still go on the apps cause he liked the "validation."
It can be absolutely brutal but it is in no way a reflection of you. You are worth so much more.

Just reply, “I’m busy Sunday now. Take care!”

What a wanker.

Sorry, OP, but despite all the posters ridiculing those of us who think he's blowing you off, I think he's definitely gone lukewarm. In my experience it is absolutely completely obvious when a man is really into you.

Apparently not.

This is not a you thing it's a him thing. He got what he wanted out of your short term dating and he's moved on. Was it the most mind blowing sex for you? I highly doubt it.

Chalk it down to experience from being back in the dating pool again. Going forward decide if you are happy to casually date, and expect less communication or if you want longer term dating without becoming intimate until further along. Take it on a case by case basis and it's less of a minefield.

Men aren't all like this one, a lot are but not all. Most will even be honest about it if you actually have that conversation too.

OP it's absolutely nothing to do with you. It's who he is. I know it's difficult to understand but this is what he does day in day out.

You deserve better. I wouldn't want a pathetic coward like him anyway.

He's just collecting bed post notches. DId you message him back?

I just said. No worries. Hope you feel better soon. I definitely won't message him again