Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

Loving and caring men do not send you messages like that even if they are starving.

He doesn't love you. He doesn't respect you. And more to the point he doesn't give a shit about your daughter.

Dump.

Have higher standards.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5046606-boyfriend-always-asking-for-money

You are going to get exactly same responses - TAKE NOTICE.

Hes been robbing you for months - stop facilitating him

I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things,

Really easy, you know. Something like "I have come to the conclusion that our relationship has no future and I am ending it now. Please don't contact me again." Then block him from everywhere.

when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing

Why does that matter? It's up to him what he does with his life. It's all an empty threat anyway, he'll just find someone else to freeload off.

Has he got a job yet? He didn't have one in May when you were posting about him and people told you to dump him.
Get rid of this scrounger. He's stealing food from your daughter's mouth.
Every single pound you give this loser is one pound less to spend on your daughter. Would you rather some wanker spent 20 quid on cigarettes and it went up in smoke or would you rather treat your daughter to something nice like a trip to the beach and ice-cream or cinema and popcorn?
Who deserves the 20 quid more?

Christ.

You can't dump ones like this nicely.

Dump. Be prepared for him to be nasty. Make sure you block.

He's not a keeper.

Learn some assertiveness.

Im absolutely beyond shocked to read that you are 45!!! get some self respect and get rid of this loser. Think of your kids ffs, and its ok to be single

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5073795-boyfriend-of-6-months-just-dumped-me-devastated

So why the fuck did you take him back? You had your chance to free yourself and your daughter and you went back.

Honestly OP were you going this to yourself? He’s a vile disgusting scrounging piece of shit but you’re rolling over and allowing him to treat you like you’re nothing but a cash point.

If you can’t do it for you think of the example you’re setting your daughter showing her that dick gets priority over kids every single time.

I know in relationships we’re never encouraged to think “what’s in it for me” but that’s what you should be asking yourself right now
relationships shouldn’t always be one person doing all the giving

Get rid get rid get rid.
Sorry you are being treated this way.
Once the initial hurt of ending the relationship is over, you will be so relieved, and so much happier alone.

He didn’t have a job in January either when everyone told her he’s a freeloader but she’s ignored everyone and continue to bankroll him and taken him back after he dumped her.

We can all lead this horse to water but seems she doesn’t want to hear it.

I feel utterly alone like a washed up 45 yo single mum with questionable taste in men and I’m beating myself up as to how I’ve allowed a bum to be in my life

You could start to change that.

First step. Dump the fucker. Learn it's ok to be alone and massively better than being with a prick like this.

Teach your daughter life is better than this so she doesn't make the same mistakes.

I’ll probably do need the tough comments

There's no 'probably' about it. Raise your bar, why are you so desperate to have a man, any man? Even a parasite?

You know that pain in your backside you just felt? That was the toe of my boot giving you a good kicking up the arse.

You are not needy. This is the start of a domestic abuse coercive control tactic. It is about power and control. Why are you paying for an adult man? Why can't he pay his own way. Why should you feel guilty when he's asking you for a handout? I would walk away from this OP

Just the text speak and being unable to spell would give me the ick on this guy.
He's clearly lying on the food front, he wants cash and cash only for his bad habits - I'm sure there are many. It's classic to use food as an excuse, but no surprise that as soon as food is offered, its turned down.
A nice relationship with a good man can be good, however, you need to keep in your head that it's always better to be on your own than with someone who takes advantage and behaves like a shithead while having too many flaws.
This should not be hard to end, if he goes missing, great, it'll do you a favour, it's short of a suicide threat while trying to hint at it maybe, but I doubt this guy has any intentions that way. He's too valuable too himself, far more valuable than he thinks you are - he's wrong. Just dump Nd block. Being alone is better than this.

What a fucking loser,we all hit hard times.
He ain't your responsibility.
The end.!!

OP, you deserve so much better than this utter waste of space. He's taking money from you, putting you into debt and stealing from your child. Don't bother sending him mental health stuff. He knows exactly what he's doing. He's an embarrassment. End it today and do the Freedom Programme. No man is worth this.

Christ, how can you stand his texting style never mind anything else!? Get rid. He’s a loser.

It is ok to be single you know. Don't be one of those pathetic women who dates losers just because you're afraid of being alone.

Ah well. Will look forward to your next thread at Christmas when you can't afford gifts for your bairn. I'm not sure what else you want people to say OP. He's been in your life 2 minutes. Dump the twat already.

That's not a boyfriend, that's a parasite.

Get rid.

This. Comedy gold. What an idiot.

Good grief woman ! Find your bar and raise it off the floor. You are 45 - a grown adult with a leech as a boyfriend, having no boyfriend would be better than this one.

Don't bother with the mental health advice to him he doesn't need it ! he knows what he is doing.

Instead, find details of your local food banks, you will find that there are several around including Churches and community centers that offer a hot meal if the person turns up in person.
There are often requests for this info on my local Facebook community page and many of them do not need referrals from GP's / Social Services ? DHSS etc.

Tho he is making choices on how he spends his money - smoking instead of buying food, he is an adult just like you so maybe he could grow up and make adult choices.

Anyway not your problem, this ' boyfriend ' is not your responsibility as he is now surely an X boyfriend...

@Banana1979 do the math -- "a tenner or £20 every other day" is about** £3000 a year. Shocking. That's a nice holiday for your dd and you, and a whole lot of other necessities as well.

You are choosing to allow yourself to be used by this lowlife: Get rid!

Dump and block this absolute loser!

Seriously, OP. I feel sad for you that you've been putting up with this. You and your DD deserve better.

Every penny you give him is not going into saving for a holiday for your DD for example.

He is conditioning you by asking for money...soon he'll be asking for more or other things.

Dump him and work on your boundaries OP.

I'm a lone parent and I know how lonely it sometimes gets but this is not the answer. Getting comfortable in your own skin and company will make you realise a shit relationship really only worth the pain.