Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

Every time you give him money that is money you now don't have to give to your child.

Every time you give into him you are telling your DD that is what women have to do. She will see you as her moon and stars and think she has to do the same. Do you want that for her?

Please end it. He is bullying and controlling you as well as threatening you with the I'll go missing comment.

End it with him or stop moaning and carry on giving him your child's money.

OP I hope the comments are giving you strength

You’re much better than this.

Are some women so afraid of being single that they will put up with this shit?

Have some self respect and put yourself and your daughter first.

I’d have dumped after the first text he ever sent me, my 15 year old son texts better than him.

You are in debt, as you have little money. You would rather give money away than have money for your child. It is up to you what your priorities are - food, clothing and activities for you child, or give cash ( note he wants cash only) to someone.

Kindly, I’m not sure your DD does have “everything she needs and more” if you’re on UC and sending that money to an illiterate chancer. Get rid of this loser and spend some time raising your self esteem and expectations before you even consider getting into another relationship. You do not want your DD to think this is normal.

I've joined your thread @Banana1979 because I want to see the post where you tell us you are free of this man😊

He's an addict of some sort.
He can't string a sentence together.
Dump him fgs

good advice ^

Never mind the spelling, its the complete rudeness, entitlement and incivility of those demands and the utter cheek of his complaining about your bank and overdraft HE IS THE REASON YOU ARE OVERDRAWN!

Tell him the Bank of Banana1979 has closed its doors. And he is going missing, missing from your life from now on.

It's such a horrible situation to be in OP, but At least you are recognising him now for what he is. The "sometimes Mr Nice" is not the real him. He only appears when he wants something and he's not the answer to your problems.

I agree with other posters who say go through your accounts and add up how much he has leeched out of you since January. I bet you could pay off your overdraft and go on holiday with your daughter with that amount. Looking at the cold hard facts will be a real eye opener. You might also look at the calendar and see how many times he's actually met up with you and how many times he's let you down.

Think about what happens if you don't dump him, when you are considerably more overdrawn than you are now? You've said to him many times that you need to save money for your DD. He doesn't care one jot, and I'm betting he really resents her for that too. If he treats you with such little respect, I bet he won't treat her with much either. Save her from this situation. He is an unscrupulous, lazy, uncivil, grasping so and so, and your DD does not deserve to have someone like that in her life constantly making her Mum much poorer and more miserable. January to July - 7 months is long enough.

Let today be the day you turn your life around. You have lots going for you. You can make a start on paying off your debts (this is a really useful site ) and spend quality time with your DD too. As others have said speak to your GP about counselling to help you turn a corner. Wishing you well OP. https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/loans/debt-help-plan/

Ick. Sorry, but he sounds like an idiot, even if he weren't expecting you to support him financially.

You really don't need him in your life, and it's not your responsibility to take care of his mental health. The threats about hurting himself if you dump him are pathetic and empty. He's just trying everything he can think of to keep you from seeing the light and cutting him loose.

You are not his mother - and he is a 'grown' man - so should be able to manage his own money in ways that suit him. (If he decides to smoke - he will have less for food etc.)

Be free!
Use your money to manage your own life and that of your real child.

I want to tell you something op.

You are obviously very kind and that is wonderful about you.

However, you're investing your kindness into people who do not return this to you.
Into people who do not deserve your love and attention.

I do not believe in not giving to receive anymore. I believe that allows us to be door mats and people pleasers.

Now I'm late 30s, I believe healthy relationships are about give and take. Whether this is friends, family or partners/ spouses.

This man is all take, take and take. All you get is bread crumbs of affection when you're behaving right towards him. He's trained you to send money otherwise he manipulates by being cold, sulky or throwing his so called mental health into the picture.

Do yourself a favour, the biggest favour. Get rid of this illiterate cock lodger and then take a big look at the boundaries you put down in life.

From now on, pledge to yourself, everyone gets one chance now and one chance only. Pledge to yourself, you'll look at people's actions and not just their words. Do their words get backed up by action?

What are you teaching your daughter by putting up with people treating you like this. You have to take some responsibility because you have let him. By drawing strong boundaries and not letting anyone mug you off, you will repel people like this and not let them into your life.

Live happier today! By starting your new strong life right now. Bye bye dickhead, hello holiday that you're going to be saving all that you gave him. You can do this. You absolutely owe yourself this. I'd rather be lonely than put up with this one more second!

I hope you come back @Banana1979, if you need us to we will prop you up & help you find the strength to get this over with.

My ex was like this, me constantly paying for everything, he never once offered. Actually asked other day why I won’t take him back, mainly lies but the money thing really grated on me. I know it’s hard but get rid, he doesn’t give a shit about you or your child

However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money

I don't understand why you have anything to do with him? What are you getting from the relationship ?

Yep, dump and block. She’ll never hear from him again.

Get rid! Your a mum but not his mum! Broke men are such a turn off. You owe him nothing. He's a waster, a bum

We all do! 🙂

You don’t love this man. You don’t even like him. He will not change if you twist yourself inside out and turn yourself into the woman he wants, because the woman he wants is one who will financially enable his useless lifestyle. A boyfriend is not a prize you get for being a good girl. A boyfriend is a loving, supportive partner in life who puts you and your daughter’s needs as equal to or above his own. I was given some very good advice once, don’t even consider dating any man who doesn’t worship the ground you walk on. If you can’t find someone like that stay single - there’s no shame in it. More and more women are making the decision to remain single and so have more control over their own lives. Right now you are the ground he is walking on - it’s time to stop and dump him right now. If you don’t he will only get worse. You have the advantage that he lives some distance from you, so it’s unlikely he will want to spend money to come and see you and cause trouble when you dump him, he won’t want to spend money on that! You can be free.

datsvy 🤣 has he ever been to school to learn to spell ? He’s a user and only messages you if he needs money ! If you don’t give him money he doesn’t wanna know you 🙃 anyone can see through his bullshit …

Dump the twat. Remove him from all social media and block. Draw a line under the money, you wont get that back

Then again, you could pay your rent, council tax, gas/elec/water then give him any remaining money. Don't bother eating, either you or DD - he wants the money more than you do. Just drink tap water.

He is abusive and manipulative, he’s taking advantage of you and your kindness. Focus on yourself and your DC, it is his loss please leave him x

Jesus are you that desperate to be with a man that you would take one who treats you like shite! Try being single for a while and concentrate on yourself and your child!

I hope 56 isn’t the age of this man why’s he typing like my ex when we were 15 smh