Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

You have to pay for his travel just for him to come visit you. That’s how little he cares.

He doesn’t even deserve the decency of being dumped. Block his phone, email and all his social media accounts. Never see or speak to him again.

56

This. You and your dd are worth more.

Sweetheart, you are worth so much more than this! A man who expects you to pay for him to come and see you - awful.

You don’t need a reason. You don’t need to convince him. It takes two peoples consent to be in a relationship. Withdraw yours. You can just decide, right now, that you are no longer part of this.

Wow. Bless you. Def better off without him mentally financially and emotionally

Does he work ? If not why not ! If he does the. Why on Earth are you sending him Money

Money that can be spent on you and dd

How long have have you been together and how old is he ?

How the fuck can you justify not being able to take your dd on holiday because you’re bankrolling this losers lifestyle choices?

Honestly Op your bar is so low it makes a snakes belly look like a pole vault. Are you so desperate for any random shitty man that you prioritise paying for dick over your daughter because that’s what you’re doing.

And why take this scum back after he dumped you a couple of months ago?

Problem is everyone had been telling me cattle the same thing for 6 months now but we’re wasting our time if you think having any bloke even this piece of shit is better than nothing.

Finish it and block him. You don't need any man, it's better not to have a man at all than someone who does not love and respect you. Save the money you were giving him for a nice break with you are and your DD on a socialable holiday. Hang out with your actual friends.

The OPs boyfriend is using her as a living money source yet the only input you can put in is to correct somebody's spelling?

Exactly.

OP you need serious help if you can’t dump him. This is serious. I laughed at his stupid texts, but it is serious.

You have a 9 year old daughter, your fridge is empty because you would rather spend your money on drugs and alcohol for your boyfriend. It’s worrying. If I knew you I would consider reporting to ss, because I am worried about your daughter and you not being able to see what is best for her, or even yourself. Seek help or I hope someone reports you.

You already know what you need to do, but you sound worn down, exhausted and afraid to be alone. I think you really need to talk to your doctor about getting yourself some help. It will take time as there are long waiting lists for counselling but it might help. I made the decision to leave my partner about 5 years ago (I am 56). Tried internet dating but there are some really awful men on there, so then made the decision to take myself off the market. I do get lonely sometimes, but I am much less stressed and anxious, and weirdly less lonely than when I was with the wrong man. You also need to consider the example you are setting for your daughter by having this man in your life, putting up with his shit and making her life miserable because her Mum is unhappy and upset all the time. If you can’t dump him for your own sake then do it for her - maybe it will be easier? Plus if you dump him then he isn’t abandoning you - it’s your choice not his. It may be the case that you don’t find another partner, but there are worse things than being single. I’m guessing you don’t have many friends to talk to, it’s difficult to make new friends as we get older, but if there is anyone who can be there to support you when you bin him then pls call them. You will be upset for a while, but no more upset than you are now. Then you just need to give yourself time to go through it until you come out the other side. And don’t forget to block him on your phone, social media, everything. Looking at the screenshots you have been strong enough to repeatedly say no, you won’t give him any more money. You just need that little bit more to tell him you won’t give him any more of your time and attention either. Then go no contact to give yourself the chance to get over it. Try to focus on your little girl and spending time with her. My two girls are grown up and living their own lives now, it happens so quickly, so give yourself the opportunity to enjoy her childhood, please. I hope things get better for you xxx

To be blunt, why are you found this jobless wanker? Couldn’t afford a holiday because you’re sending him money?! Listen to yourself! Get rid.

He is a dickhead and a loser and he can barely write. Dump his sorry arse. Block him.
Any money you give him, you could spend on your DD.

Single life is a million times better than this.
You can do this!

You don’t need to be posting about this on MN.

Tell him your “relationship” is over, block his number, and sort out your own finances instead of taking responsibility for a fully grown adult.

Don’t bother. He won’t help himself.

Just send a text saying it’s over and block him. Usually I think Mumsnetters are too quick to advise blocking someone, but in this case you absolutely need to as soon as you’ve sent the ‘you’re dumped’ text.

Tell me that's not his age. WTF.

Those texts from him are making me cringe. Is that how he speaks too.....
Time to do what's right by you and your daughter and get rid of this sponger, your life will be so much better.

Your daughter does not need a man like this in her life.

Not only is he an absolutely shameless sponger who will take food out of your children's mouths to smoke, he's barely literate.

Tell him it's over and tell him you're blocking him.

You won't know if he's gone missing or not, but I promise he won't go missing.

If you don't block him he'll go offline for a few days to try and scare you. So just block him and tell him.

He is a user and an absolute tosser.

He's now your ex I hope

Eurgh. You sleep with this man? He can barely write a coherent sentence - this would be enough to put me off 🤢

Ghost him, or send him a single text saying it’s over and block his number and social media.

he is not showing you enough respect to deserve a phone call or a face to face break up! You can’t hurt this guys feelings, he does not care about your opinion of him. He’s a sponge.

Protect your daughter or she will end up being used like this too. Do not let her see you being treated like shit any more! You are worth more!

Ah lovely, it’s do hard to unpick the conditioning of our childhood. And the awful irony is that we are primed to look for men like our fathers to repeat the pain.

Take a look at the freedom programme - it’s for women who have suffered domestic violence but even reading the website and seeing how we can be attracted to wrong uns is very helpful.

If you can channel your anger it will help. What kind of low life scum preys on the mother of a 9 year old, literally taking cash away from a young child?

Dump him and block him - you don’t need to organise mental health support for him. He really is not your problem. He is a manipulator and he’ll have moved onto another victim by the end of the week. it’s important to keep your head straight - feel sorry for his next victim, not jealous.

It really really helps to surround yourself with positivity - a soundtrack of great break up songs. I will survive is cheesy but it’s the kind of thing you need to listen to right now. Whether it’s podcasts, YouTube videos, whatever, set up a playlist for yourself so you’re listening to strong women’s voices building you up. Nothing soppy and romantic for a while!

“Hi Bob, this isn’t working for me anymore. I’m ending the relationship. Don’t contact me again. If you need mental health support contact your GP.”

And then block and delete his number. It’s time to stop taking food out of your daughter’s mouth to fund this losers drug/drink habit.

'Suttin wiv u' what a massive ick 🤮