Boyfriend guilt tripping me for money screenshots

[Banana1979]

My boyfriend is guilt tripping me for money
I have put a screenshot of part of the message
Im in my overdraft and I told him I cannot transfer money from an overdraft to him. I am sick and tired of him asking it’s every other day I’m giving him a tenner or £20
he has told me today he’s starving
I offered to send him an Amazon shop about £15 worth of food until he gets paid next week
and he’s being nasty about it. I’ve said to him I have a child to look after and a lot of rent to pay I do get some universal credit towards the rent but not all as I work
. However I don’t understand why he is responding like it’s my fault I cannot send him money
I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go. I am sick of this. I feel like I am being used for money he doesn’t do anything for me he doesn’t take me out didn’t buy me a birthday present asks for travel when he comes to see me it’s about £16 both ways tube and bus
he also smokes and is childless. He’s loving and caring when he comes to see me, but I am pretty fed up of him now.
i have a 9 yo DD
I don’t even know what to say to him, because I’m terrible at ending things, because for some reason I find it difficult to let people go even when they are terrible to me. My dad left when I was younger and I used to smell his T-shirt as a kid and hang onto his clothes, wondering when he was ever going to come back I don’t know if it’s linked to that,the way but I definitely need some kind of fucking help here.
my daughters, father also left me suddenly after 13 years, 3 years ago to go and be with a 21 year old
when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day. I know it’s continue. I just need help to fucking drop him. I’m sick of being treated this way. I’m very kind and loving person. Everybody tells me this. I’m 45 and probably stuck with horrible people because I feel like nobody will want me at my age, most men my age, want somebody in their 20s. I just feel sad

I don't understand why you should feel guilty, he is an absolute idiot who can't even string a sentence together. This guy is using you, and both you and your child are going without because your funding him, he should be embarrassed to even be asking you. You are paying him to come and see you, thankfully he's nice to you when he is there, but I'm certain it's all on his terms and he gets well looked after at yours so has no reason to be horrible. Get rid of him and concentrate on building your confidence and self worth.

It's not just the money, OP - it's your child getting a lesson in what relationships are like via this absolute shitshow!

Do DC a favour and show them how you dispose of people who use you in life.

Being single is better than being used as a cash cow.

And please, in future, try to give the impression of not needing someone. Horrible men can smell neediness and desperation a mile off and will take advantage every single time.

You are worthy of a loving, supportive, equal relationship. Don't accept anything less.

Have you ever calculated how much he has scrounged off you. Maybe do it and feel the disgust we all do on your behalf. Then think was he worth that money?…. I’d guess not. Good luck to you and your child. You are both better off without him. Model how to be a strong independent woman to your daughter and be proud that by doing that she won’t have to tolerate the shit you have. You have lots of people here who have your back 💪💪💪

You're

Why on earth are you sending him money?!?!?
This absolute madness.
Block immediately.

you sound like a really caring person. Don’t change. Credit to you- you’ve been through tough situations and are still loving and caring. Plus raising a kid. Congratulations - you should be proud of yourself.❤️

I would send a text message saying ‘it’s not working out. I wish you the best but I don’t want to be with you. Take care’.
then as the others have said block his number on your phone. And social media.

honestly- he will try to guilt trip you back but he’s a grown man willing to take money away from your kid. He is shameful.

go to the GP and get your name on the waiting list for counselling. Think about your voice in your head and how you talk to yourself. Are you kind to yourself? If not start each morning looking in the mirror and patting yourself on the back for being a good person in a hard world. Don’t trash talk yourself either eg ‘I’m so stupid’ or whatever. Start building your self esteem.
honestly if the men you know in their 40s want to be with a 20 year old- you don’t want them. Find your love and community elsewhere.

good luck. Rooting for you.

I’m sure you’ve posted about him before and you were told to ditch him then.

Seriously you need to grow up, get some self respect and leave him. You’re teaching your daughter it’s okay to go out with a loser!

User.

Send him the number of the Samaritans and say you can't help any more and to stop contacting you. Then don't answer his texts. I would say 'block' but he sounds like he is the sort to escalate and you might need evidence for a non molestation order. He sounds exactly the sort. So you need to say clearly 'don't contact me' for the records.

Agree with the posters saying to end the relationship and block him on your phone and social media. The message by NoKids2 is perfect. You don’t need to apologise or explain to him and his threats to ‘go missing’ are not your concern. Concentrate purely on you and your daughter for a while. Thai man is adding nothing to your life, only taking from it.

Better to be alone than with an arsehole.

“when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing . If I don’t sending money, he sends me messages like this and ignores me all day.”

let him go missing then at least you won’t have to deal with him, then block him because he will 100% not stay missing for long and come back sending you messages.

I’ve already sent him money this month and I’m sick and tired of it and I’m ready to let him go
Yup, that's what needs to happen. Bin him off.

when I try to end it, he says he’s going to go missing
Yeah, they always say that. It's emotional blackmail. So what if he does go missing? Good riddance. Same with people threatening to take their own life if you don't do what they say - blackmail, pure and simple. And if they do take their own life that's their decision and theirs alone.

I wouldn't be bothering sending him links to mental health services or whatever. I very much doubt he has mental health issues, he's a common-or-garden manipulative scrounger who knows which buttons to press to get you to continue forking out money.

Send him a message saying "I've decided this isn't working for me and my daughter so I'm ending things. Don't contact me again".
Block.
He'll find someone else to scrounge off soon enough.

Look at it this way - your priority is your daughter. What would you say if this was her? She is seeing this - do you want her thinking this is the acceptable way to be treated? Set the standard for yourself that you want a minimum for her. You are worth it.

He doesn't want food, he wants money, so is aggressive when you offer food.

You ARE being used by him for money. You can stop this now.

For your sake and your daughter's sake, end this now. It is ok to be on your own, you don't need a man to validate you as a person.

Make a GP appointment for your depression and get some treatment and ask for a referral for counselling. In our area there is self referral, so see what is available in your area.

Block him, but if he threatens suicide in any way, then report it on 101 saying that you are worried for his safety.

You are not responsible for his actions and generally those who threaten it in this way are using it as a form of control and have no intention of actually doing anything.

OO - you posted 6 months ago he was constantly scrounging money and the comments were unanimous to dump the freeloading bastard so not sure what else we can say if you’ve been told the same thing time and time again and dont do anything about it.

Hes a freeloading scrounging wanker literally taking food from your DC mouth - he doesn’t even like you he just wants a cash point.

Why are you so desperate for a man that you tolerate this? He's scamming you in plain sight and you just keep handing over cash. Hes disgusting but only YOU can stop this

Dump him

He is taking money from your dd
As you say the money you gave could have gone towards a holiday for you and her

Ask yourself... is this man in your life making you happy or adding stress?

I think you already know the answer

You are so much better than this. I'm sorry you've been let down by men in your life
There are good men out there and you will find one. But your first priority should be your little one. Don't let her think that this is an OK way to be treated!

It’s hard OP when these type of people have a hold on you but bite the billet and get rid of him.

It will be hard for the first few days but it will benefit you and your DD in the long run and you will feel so much better when that waste of space is out of your life. Stay strong 💐

You owe him nothing.
With the shitty, defensive tone of his messages, sending him details of MH services will just piss him off.
Just message once that you’re ending it, then block if he responds with anything other than acceptance.

You and your DD deserve better than this

Tell him to feck off then block and ignore. He is not someone who cares about you or your daughter.
Spend some time alone working on your self esteem and you will find a man worthy of you when the time is right.

Dump and block in one go. Not your problem, not your responsibility.

The Police's time is far better spent doing a welfare check on somebody who actually needs it and not some emotional terrorist who is just throwing a tantrum because his victim-mummy isn't buying him cigarettes, booze or drugs anymore.

It'll get the message across far more effectively than wasting both police manpower/resources and your emotional energy on him.

I thought i was dreaming when I read this post. Then I blinked and it was real.
Why are you with this pointless waste of skin?
Let him go missing , he ain't your problem

I was also going to suggest going through all those little bits of money you’ve sent him to see just how much it adds up to, and thinking about what you could have done with that for your DD and yourself - it should help you find your angry.

Cut him off OP, do this for yourself. It’s one little step that can create a whole lot of positive ripples in your life - you’ll be treating yourself as someone who deserves respect, which will show your DD that this is not acceptable in a relationship, and might even help you start believing you deserve better, because you really do.

The first four words of the above say everything that’s needed.

Tell him you no longer want to be in a relationship with him and not to contact you again . He sounds fucking awful

I'm 46 and single, I'd rather be single forever than put up with that shit, honestly, being single forever would be better than that!