Sent a bum pic - he asked if I had worked out then said room for improvement?

[sarahbranningtonxx]

Bit of context lol.. I sent a bum pic to my fiance... he replied why is there underwear on and then asked if I had worked out (we both know that we both need to work out but both haven't got around to it yet, a mutual thing, i ask him he asks me)
I kinda got offended because i thought that meant the pic didn't look good, so I replied kind of silly saying oh why don't you like my bum how it is haha and he replied "lol nice" (as in sarcastic like oh nice of you to say) - but didn't reassure me or anything which left me feeling a little insecure. So then I literally just said "that was a question" and he said he does like it how it is but there is always room for improvement as you would say. (i would not say this about his physical appearance)

I kind of feel like this is a odd thing to say lol - I mean granted there is! I have put on a stone or two. Just made me feel insecure, and feel it wasn't really needed. thoughts??

What do you think know you know what negging is? Has he done it at other times?

Doubt it. It's probably Dave or Steve.

What an odd reaction.

Loads of people send photos of themselves to their partners and I don’t believe the false outrage on here.

I’ve lost count of how many bum and other pics I’ve sent and received.

People have been doing it for generations and so I’m not sure why people are acting like OP has done something horribly wrong, by simply sending her fiancé a photo of her body thst he sees everyday anyway.

OP started a thread because his reaction had upset her.
The majority of threads are about women and their partners upsetting them.

I wonder if this was a photo of OPs face and he had that reaction, if PPs would have been so rude to her about it.

Well its actually not an odd reaction at all:
In the world YOU live in taking pictures of bums and sending them to people is obviously normal behaviour
In the world I live in it is ridiculous.

Do people really have such poor memories that when apart they need to see photos of their partner every day? Sounds as though they are frightened it will be a case of " out of sight out of mind" if they need to send constant reminders to their partner of what they look like.

I reserve the right to think that if OP sees the success of her relationship or otherwise depending on her fiancé giving the right reaction to a photo of her bum then it can't be much of a relationship. It actually smacks of real insecurity about herself. Not just her body.

I find it weird that some pp think that her fiancé's reaction is of such mind blowing importance that they are spending time analysing it. No wonder some men have inflated ideas about their importance when every throw away comment they make is treated as being of such importance. Seems like some women give men the power to make or break them with praise or criticism of their bodies.

So I don't see my reaction as weird. I see it as actually normal. And I have the right to express it. Just as you have the right to express your.

You have every right to enjoy the world you live in, which is alien to mine. As you receive multiple pictures of bums I'm assuming you have a bum fetish.Well if that floats your boat, on you go.

You do you. I'll do me.

How do you take it? With a reach around or in the mirror? I think if I tried this it would end up with me having a broken mirror, a broken limb and a picture of the ceiling.

How do you actually take a picture of your own arse? Do you have a mirror in front and behind, like at the hairdressers? Or do you twist round or hold the phone behind you? If you do that, do you end up with loads of rubbish photos that you have to delete?
You’d have a to a spectacular arse and loads of filters to make it look good wouldn’t you?

Well it doesn't sound like "fun" if OP is so upset by her fiancé reaction she is starting a thread about it.
Sounds as if it's only " fun" if the recipient makes the right approving noises when the picture is received.

Good God, vomit emoji. And low self esteem. Why do people do such nonsense?

Oh FGS let’s build each other up instead of tearing down!!
she sent a bum picture to her fiancée - obviously she thought he’d like it - people do all sorts of things to be personal with their partners - who are we to judge them ? I myself have forced myself to wear skimpy g string knickers because a partner liked them!

So a bum is a bum - when you’re a woman and not a gym bunny or a model - I don’t think they do look that good naked (personal belief) so bum pictures need to be aesthetically pleasing in perhaps a dusting of moisturiser to add a healthy glow, a sun kissed bum or even a sexy underwear slid down kind of look - just whipping your pants down taking a photo of your bum complete with a pimple is only going to get a certain type of person interested.

Dont be hurt by his comments - and send t!t pics instead !! I myself get my partner excited by sending him a photo of a cheese and onion pie 😂😂😂 horses for courses !!

B

Why on earth would you actually WANT to have your photos passed round a load of drunk men in a pub so they can judge your body? Why WANT to reduce yourself to a sex object? Why does random male opinion matter to you so much?

Besides , perhaps like OP and her fiancé, their reaction might not be the one you clearly think you deserve.

“People have being doing this for generations”. That made me laugh. What - sending selfies of their bums. I’m old but not that old! When I was a teen, there weren’t even mobiles let alone ones that take and send photos.

one you send someone a photo of yourself, and your arse, it’s out there forever.

OP, your fiance sounds appalling and with your insecurity (asking for compliments about your bum) and his desire to pull you down, this is a disaster

Negging. :(
if he isn’t grateful to receive photos, don’t send him any more. Ever.
this is a crap response to a flirty, playful gesture.

Loving the judgement, faux naivety and and outrage by some on here. Sending pics / sexting is clearly 'a thing' in some peoples relationships and there is nothing wrong with that. Its not your bag and that's fine too but no need to be such an arse (excuse the pun) about it. My only concern would be engaging in such behaviour with people you barely know rather then within a trusting partnership/relationship.

you can feel how you like about this but it’s most empowering to feel this way actually. I am so happy with my pictures I don’t care who or what anyone says about them. Even drunk guys down the pub. I’m beyond judgement and it reflects the level of security and body confidence I have. I have taken the pictures for me and felt so happy about them I shared with an audience of one. Worst case scenario other people get to see what I look like in lingerie and topless. Idgaf.

What does pg mean - other than a film rating

With all due respect your level of " body confidence" and grandiose perception of your self worth actually comes over as so extreme it sounds like a mental health issue.
I've never heard anyone express their valuation of themselves in such self satisfied terms before.

whatever. It’s really not that deep.

Are you 12 OP

Yet you seem curiously invested in this???

Not really.
I read the thread very near the beginning - I follow " Relationships " so look at most of the new threads.
I posted a comment and that would have been it if other pp hadn't quoted what I said and I returned to the thread at times to answer their comments to me.
After I'd posted one of my replies I happened to notice what Slayday had said about wanting a whole load of guys in the pub to look at her topless photos. I thought this was worthy of comment.
Since then I have returned to the thread to answer her reply and to answer your comment.
I don't think that's being " curiously invested". I think it's engaging in discussion. And standing my own corner.

You're "looking for reassurance" from strangers instead of your fiance. Weird.

And yes, he's saying you need to work out.

@Surprisedmystified you're actually kind of backtracking. your first comment was super judgemental and calling me sad and criticising me, your second post because someone defended the situation is now saying its fine to have different opinions and you do you ill do me, well if that was the case you would of kept your mean judgemental comments to yourself, no? ever heard the phrase if you haven't got anything nice to say?

@Choochoo21 thank you!

@Slayday @Surprisedmystified lol im very confused by you, you judge women for being insecure about there bodies, then when this woman is confident in her body and doesn't care what people think, thats an issue too. seriously rethink your comments.

You think Mumsnet is PG? Are you new?