Sent a bum pic - he asked if I had worked out then said room for improvement?

[sarahbranningtonxx]

Bit of context lol.. I sent a bum pic to my fiance... he replied why is there underwear on and then asked if I had worked out (we both know that we both need to work out but both haven't got around to it yet, a mutual thing, i ask him he asks me)
I kinda got offended because i thought that meant the pic didn't look good, so I replied kind of silly saying oh why don't you like my bum how it is haha and he replied "lol nice" (as in sarcastic like oh nice of you to say) - but didn't reassure me or anything which left me feeling a little insecure. So then I literally just said "that was a question" and he said he does like it how it is but there is always room for improvement as you would say. (i would not say this about his physical appearance)

I kind of feel like this is a odd thing to say lol - I mean granted there is! I have put on a stone or two. Just made me feel insecure, and feel it wasn't really needed. thoughts??

The whole thing sounds juvenile. You sending the picture and his response.

And you are how old? You sent a BUM pic 😂🤣🤣

Good grief do adults do this sort of shit?

Are you old enough to get married?

Grim

Are you always so insecure?

Ironically, he's an arse.

why is there underwear on and then asked if I had worked out

Negging fuckwit.

I wonder if that's the feedback Huw Edwards got about his bum.

Nope. No body shaming. I used to have a boyfriend like that, always trying to stop me eating cake, little comments here and there about losing weight. No. It grinds you down. It seems small but it's not.

Well, some people do send pics and even (gasp) enjoy it. That might be a new dimension for MN.

My experience is that the recipient compliments the sender.
If he's not appreciating your pics and/or not sending his own, that is place to consider.

LOL funny. And yes I wrote bum because I didn’t want to use the word ass on here because people seem a bit PG.

lol right! I kind of feel like a minority for being sexually active right now haha. Damn I’m on a work trip away from my fiancé give a girl a break!

Your fiance loves you and clearly fancies you, so what if your bum could do with a little bit of improvement? Couldn’t all of our bums.

Even those with drop dead gorgeous bodies still have little things they’d want to change. I sometimes feel insecure about my body and think ugh by DH probably wishes I had bigger bum, boobs, less flab whatever - but he’s not exactly Hercules so I just let it go.

If he hasn’t meant to hurt your feelings and there’s no bad intent there I would let it go. I doubt he has an issue with your arse

And yes I wrote bum because I didn’t want to use the word ass on here because people seem a bit PG.

This is literally the mums' website with the swearing. I've personally posted 'fuckwit' twice in the last few minutes.

Negging?

Definitely a thing with a sub population of men. They do it on purpose to make a woman feel like shit. Back handed compliments and all that.

www.verywellmind.com/negging-how-to-recognize-and-overcome-it-7098095

I think when you push for an answer to a question like that then you need to consider that you might not like the answer. Also to remember that things don’t always come across in a text the way they do in person so he might have been messing around but in a text it doesn’t come across well.

Don’t send photos of your backside to anyone.

He's negging you. Saying something slightly negative to put you on the back foot/feel less secure about yourself. The less confident you are the less likely you are to leave him because you'll start to believe you're not good enough and couldn't do better.
My advice would be to leave him and find someone who does appreciate the effort you make and how you look. Also I wouldn't send pictures to anyone, if you break up who knows what will happen to them.

When you say a 'bum picture' do you mean it wasn't as you expected or it is a bit blurry or is it of a drunk thrown out of a tavern somewhere in the United States?

I read his comments the other way- asking if you’d been working out to mean your bum is looking good. He only said room for improvement when you really pushed him to.

Assuming he’s generally a nice man I’d put this down to the fact you were both sending fairly gnomic texts, he tried to compliment you then you kept pushing for another answer. Probably best not to keep pushing like that if you don’t want an answer like that.

OTOH if this is just the latest incident of this sort of thing, then I withdraw the benefit of the doubt.

She means a picture of her arse.