Feel really hurt and used

[roses321]

I don't think this is anything new to be honest but I just wanted to vent on here.

I've been single for just over a year, I haven't slept with anyone or bothered with trying to pursue a relationship, but I met this one guy recently and he seemed great. He said all the right things, seemed to really have a good set of values and was extremely respectful.

Long story short, I ended up going home with him on Saturday night and we slept together. I left on Sunday morning and he did text me, but barely, and it was nothing to do with the weekend we spent together or anything else. It was about things in the news or TV shows he was watching.
By Sunday night I kind of felt like shit, and I felt quite used even though there was no reason to feel that way - I'm a grown adult, I made a choice, and I went into it fully aware that he might tell me he didn't want to see me again. I would have been disappointed, but I could have handled it.

What I didn't foresee at all, was him just NOT addressing it, not saying anything, not giving me any indication of whether he wanted to see me again, or even acknowledging that it had happened.

I decided that I didn't have anything to lose, so I laid my cards on the table and told him I had a lovely time with him, thought he was a great guy, and I had fun etc.

The response I got made me really mad. Literally not even an acknowledgement of anything I just said, just "oh I had a hangover yesterday and felt shit" (we went out drinking) and then a "anyway got to go to work, chat later".

I told him that frankly chatting later wasn't necessary. He then followed up saying he found my earring on his bedroom floor and I said don't worry just bin it. He sent me a laughing emoji and just an "ok".

Excuse me but WTF. Is it too much to expect someone to behave like an actual adult and not just run away from acknowledging that yes, we slept together and just be honest and upfront if you don't want more? I'm really fuming. I feel so angry about it and utterly suprised since this is NOT what I expected him to behave like, it is completely out of character with how he presented himself, completely childish and I have just decided to not utter one more word to him, as much as I want to verbally bite his head off, I know that it'll do me no good whatsoever so I won't bother.

Seriously though WHAT THE HECK? You dont' have to want a relationship with someone to behave like a respectful human being ffs.

No pun intended 🤣

So you thought you'd pop online and be a pain in my behind?

Are you bored at home? Shall I send Mr CCD over?

I’ve not been following where the thread is going but just caught this comment, it made me laugh for its refreshing honesty 😂

Yeah he's cocky, full of himself, tall and has a large wang.

What the fuck is not to like?

I can confirm this is not the case.

yes I’m bored at home right now (more or less like you). Also: please don’t send me Mr CCD’s phone number, big cocks scare me 🤣

😂 Yeah it scared me as well to be honest. Good job I was drunk!

I'm laughing a lot because i'm like "sorry no, i don't know where".

Do you mean up my??? No, no he didn't do that.

Why would you think he'd do that... did I not have enough to deal with already???

Well, I’m sure Rosie won’t be the first or the last to have got mixed up with a loser who had nothing to offer her. But, as it stands, looks like he’s realised she is way out of his league.

I think it's because he thinks i'm going to turn into some clingy limpet, jump into a wedding gown and drag him to the altar if he acknowledges it or something.

Probably because I sent him a nice message saying thanks for having me over, I had a lovely time etc.

I mean to be honest we never discussed having a relationship... and who says I wanted a relationship. Bit presumptuous to be honest! I'd like to have kept seeing him, but i'm definitely not ready for anything heavy after the last few years. To have a relationship lite would be great though.

I've got one like this as a FB right now, actually. It's going great for me, if that would persuade you to consider that path.

I was going to get rid when I realised how laconic he was. But then I thought, why throw the baby out with the bathwater? You don't find whacking great big good looking men like that around every corner. He doesn't have to be the love of your life!

It gets boring having a man around literally all the time anyway.

Yeah well this is kinda my thought process....

The problem is that I do definitely need a level of upfront and honest communication in ANY relationship I have. It's absolutely impossible to date someone even casually without this.

I mean even fucking Khal Drogo knew which direction he was going.

I can't keep seeing him if he doesn't tell me he wants to see me, that's what's annoyed me so much about it. I'm assuming your hunk at least communicates with you to a degree otherwise how would you see him?

And yes, I did communicate with him but he ignored me. So y'know, what are you gonna do with that?

I don’t blame him being that “cautious” with his heart emojis text messages, I mean… If you’re so emotionally invested in him after 3 dates I don’t even want to think how 6 dates would look like. If I went out 3 dates with a guy and found out he had open a 6 pages public thread about me on the internet praising my genitals while calling me a feckin looser I would be completely terrified and block him everywhere, thanks god mr big C is unaware of this thread.

Ignorance is bliss.

Samantha go and do your ironing love.

You're taking this wildly out of context and i don't understand why you're still stuck on all this bullshit that i've never said.

Nobody has mentioned heart emojis or declarations of love
I've never said i'm emotionally invested
Lots of peoples posts turn into large threads - that's what we do on mumsnet, we come and chat about various things. Is it better to have a 12 page thread discussing a one night stand, or a 12 page thread discussing how a woman is being abused in her own home or her partner is having an affair. Go and read some of the threads on here - if you want to apply that logic, we're all arseholes for talking about men then!

If you want to lurk about on mumsnet taking the moral highground you need to get a sodding hobby. I've done a search on your responses for other peoples posts and you're exactly the same on there - go get laid ffs!

You should have dropped him when he changed the subject after 'I had a nice time', although to be fair that doesn't specify what you want to happen next (to explore a romantic relationship, to hook up once in a while). When you send the 'I had a nice time' message, be very clear what your expectations are- you don't have to go OTT but something like 'it would be nice to chat some more and get to know you better to see if this is going somewhere', if you wanted a relationship.

It doesn't bode well that he talks about having a massive hangover, as that implies he got wasted and did some stupid stuff.

I think your over reacting and just reading your message stressed me out. Poor guy 😂 at least he didn’t ghost you!

No well this is my point.

It was less about what next, and more just about not changing the subject for me to be honest... like at least acknowledge what i've said please.

I agree it doesn't bode well and I am not replying to his messages anymore. I can't be doing with it. It doesn't take a lot to just communicate.

The irony being so many people on this thread have an issue with me expecting that yet they themselves HAVE communicated!

FML I nearly spat my drink out.

Coke Can Pistorious.

Give me a break... i can't.

Do you often get easily stressed?