Pic attached - controlling

[attractedtothenarcissist]

Please help me to see that this is not normal and that I need to cut him off.

Fell in love with another love bombing narcissist and I think I'm about to have to try and cut myself loose...

OP I hope he is now blocked.

If you need to send one last message warning him to stop communicating or you will report for harassment then keep it factual. No feelings or explanations. Just ‘Please don’t contact me in any way again. If you do I will report you to the police for harassment’. Then block.

These people pick up on every single word. Your last message to him would have read like this ‘you are so irresistible to me that if you keep messaging and ringing I will eventually give in and get back with you’.

Good luck getting rid.

doubt it

unfortunately i suspect this will rumble on

i just hope no children involved

The kisses were the most sinister aspect for me. Urgghhh! So creepy and manipulative. Sort of passive aggressive.

You text this one and say The relationship is over, do not contact me again

Block him on all platforms and stick to it, no checking, no testing, no one offs. Any gap in your armour will be inviting him back in.

If he contacts you in person, or via letter, call the police.

Spend the spare time you've got learning more about boundaries, and self esteem and working out how to spot this behaviour for what it is early doors. I don't think seeing yourself as an empath is particularly helpful.

It doesn't matter how many tins of cat food he's bought for you, if you don't want to be in a relationship with someone displaying all the other problematic behaviour he is, then you end it. He can't purchase your compliance.

Ugh

I would send one FINAL message saying 'this is over, do not contact me again otherwise I will report you to the police'

Block him on everything

He will turn up at your door, do not answer and call the police if necessary

Only you can stop this, now and in the future. It's no good saying 'oh silly me, I'm with another narcissist, what am I like'. You've been with 2 of them and the signs are there early doors.

Omg the actual itemised list of every time he’s done something vaguely nice for you, so that means you must do as he says 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have a horrible feeling you’re going to stay with him as well

Yep.

Yeah that's really unpleasant. Bye.

Exactly this.

Just block him OP.

This.

If this is a pattern OP, have you sought help to try and understand why? You are choosing not to block him so I'm wondering what you are getting out of this? Telling him it's over but continuing to communicate with him, leaving the door open? Why?

Work on yourself. I don't know if you have children but if you do, do it for them, before they believe that this is what a relationship should look like.

That 'list' of all he's done? This is something else 🙄

"Look at you listing every minor kindness as though I am obliged to obey you for picking up cat food or buying me a bloody Pandora charm. How unattractive.

I am not answerable to you. The fact is, you are overbearing and intense and I don't want to continue in a relationship with you. I wish you luck becoming less so for future relationships but you've certainly burned your bridges on this one. Don't contact me again."

Then block him. He won't accept what you have said so there's no point in leaving any channels of communication open. But at least you have been fair and honest.
Yes it's shit being alone and staring again from scratch. But DO NOT fall foul of the sunken cost fallacy here. This man doesn't love you, he wants to consume you. He wants for there to be nothing in your mind but him and his agenda. And even then, it will never be enough. He will still find ways to be angry with you. You will shrink and shrink under his scrutiny.
You are on a hiding to misery with this one.

Sack him off. tell him why then BLOCK HIM.

Just block and delete OP. If you’re worried for your safety then call the police.

Highly suggest you get some therapy to prevent recurrence as this is a pattern for you.

Is this is the same op?

"You is smart, you is kind, you is important." (Quote from The Help).

You deserve so much more than him.

Block him as he will keep this up, chipping away at anything you say.
If he can get into your house get the locks changed. If he comes to your house call the police. Don’t engage on any level.

omg! does this Mark live in St. A...?

This and @Fraaahnces post in absolute spades.

This is nothing to do with being an "empath", it's to do with having no boundaries, little self-esteem and carrying on being a doormat.

Calling yourself an "empath" doesn't mark you out as a "non-narc", it just means you're making excuses for other people's behaviour and not doing anything to stop it impacting on you.

You need some good therapy, to develop some self-respect and learn that being single is not worse than yet another bad relationship. Otherwise this will keep happening, as borne out by the fact that you haven't blocked him yet with a threat that you'll call the police if he contacts you again (as anyone else would have done).

I say all of this from a position of seeing a friend in your shoes. She won't change, ricochets from one violent partner to another and - to be brutally honest - I'm just waiting for the phone call one day to say one of them has killed her.

Please don't be like her.

Aaah.. I see not the same. Though he is exactly as your post, he did not have children.

Quite an unsettling thing to know there are men out there with exactly the same way of behaving.

Block him!!

That first one where he rants at you and then, a bit later sends a casual, "love you" message actually made my blood run cold becuase it was messages like that I was shown by SIL that really really drove home to me how completely batshit crazy exBIL was (is). End it properly and block him. Please.

What an embarrassment of a man.

Please tell me you've ended things with this guy.

I think you need to be more assertive in your messages. It's not clear whether the second set of messages are from the same guy, but saying that you have to be strong and have the courage to stay away... this communicates to him that you're weak, and you're telling him it will be very difficult to stay away. This basically tells him that if he keeps persisting, he can easily win you back. You need to be very firm and final in your response.

As others have suggested, send a final message "The relationship is over. Do not contact me again or I will call the police".

Then do the Freedom Programme to learn to spot the red flags and strengthen your boundaries.

Ewww i hope you've blocked him? Scary stuff.

He lives in Barnsley