Pic attached - controlling

[attractedtothenarcissist]

Please help me to see that this is not normal and that I need to cut him off.

Fell in love with another love bombing narcissist and I think I'm about to have to try and cut myself loose...

Okay based on your update if you haven't watched You, you need to. All this 'I'm soooo nice to you' has Joe Goldberg all over it.

This guy isn't going to go away. He'll either straight up stalk you, call on different numbers etc, or be straight on the dating apps getting your replacement(s) purely so he can try and rub it in your face on social media. Protect yourself.

OP I've been with similar type when younger. I'm a lot older and wiser now. Please find the strength to stick tp your guns and know its over. He isn't respecting boundaries. You tell him it's over and he says he loves you. He's not listening and he won't as he's scared of losing control. You're as you say an empath and people pleaser? You are making the wrong choices but you are recognising it,hopefully earlier this time. Please get some support and counselling amd cut him off. Men like this are dangerous

You ask if this is normal. It’s not.

BUT

As you (and others) have observed, it is not uncommon. The patterns are repeated. And if you’ve had several men like this then technically it is normal for you.

Work on your shark cage.

OMG even when ending it he then randomly messages you later like nothing happened 😬🤦🏼‍♀️ again literally my daughters father! It's actual mad that these type of men are like clones of each other behaviour wise. Just keep ignoring him and if he turns up or he just don't stop then call the police.

Block the cunt.

You're giving him opportunities to manipulate you while ever you don't have him blocked. Take control of your life and get rid for good.

Block him for goodness sake. He is doing a number on you with every message you read! Stay strong.

You know what you need to do, you can do this. Reach out for support now please.

I left my ex who sounds exactly like this guy, his texts were exactly the same. Sending nasty and then nice messages. Gaslighting.

I am now on a programme called 'Own My Life' and it's bloody brilliant. Can you ask your local women's aid organisation??
Please do xx

This is really, really scary. Please don't go back. Tell him to leave you alone again, and if he doesn't, tell him if he contacts you again you'll be contacting the police. Then block. Hopefully that'll be enough to scare him off.
I have seen so many stories that started like this and ended with the woman being murdered, please please do not go back to this man. Please.

Feel like I am reading messages from my very abusive ex. Made me feel a bit sick.

I my opinion, end things, block him and be safe. Be prepared for attempts to contact in every which way too. And be prepared for every tactic. Have a read of articles on "collapsed narcissist".

Change your locks if he has access to your house too, and be careful. Someone like this, sadly, could become physically abusive very quickly.

Are the second lot of messaged from the same guy or the ex?

Block on WhatsApp, text, his number, keep records of all messages, if you risk having face to face then record the audio but be very careful.

Be kinder to yourself, you're not at fault, he is the person with the faults.

You just need to learn more about these people, you wouldn't automatically know about it because it's not normal, but it's certainly a steep learning curve, has been for me anyway x

An alarming set of messages. He is “nice” to you to reel you in to think he is a good guy but it is evident from messages that he doesn’t care about you. It’s just about control.

Omg in the second pic he is accusing you of trying to fall out with him so you can and see your friend tomorrow!!! Why the fuck would you need a reason to be able to go see your friend!!! I understand you are an empath and people pleaser but PLEASE for once you must think only of yourself around this situation. Do not entertain any more messages back to him. He is completely manipulating you. Please be strong and stick to your guns.

OP this is a dangerous man. Block and leave him and then make sure that friends/family know what you have done and your movements in the coming weeks. Men like this can get unhinged when you leave them. Take care of yourself please.

Completely agree. OP do not underestimate this situation.

You need to stop with the empath bullshit. There is no such thing. You can be kind and empathetic while being strong and having clear boundaries. You can use the word “empath” to mean “doormat” or “victim”. Choose wisely.

Stop engaging with him. I mean this kindly but there's weakness in your second interaction so he feels he can reel you back in.
You need to be strong.

Do yourself a favour and don’t explain to this arsehole that staying away from him requires you “to be strong”

you’ve said it’s over, now block him and don’t engage.

He sounds like a psychopath. And ‘bub’? 🤮

Block him. Be ready to call the police if he comes to your house.

Stop calling yourself an 'empath'. You're not an empath, you're a person who needs to work on your self-esteem and boundaries. Block this guy and get yourself some therapy. Richard Grannon on youtube is very good at understanding the dynamics of narcissistic relationships.

Is this the guy who you have a long distance relationship with who broke into your house as a surprise when your daughter was there?
I thought you broke up with him?

you really need to stop dating and protect your child as you seem to be a twat -magnet. Then work on your self esteem.

I'm guessing you have a trauma bond with him?
I'm guessing he's good in bed?
Been there, done that it, nearly lost my mind.
Samaritans, therapy whoever you can access for someone to talk to.

Go no contact and a bland expression when you meet them showing if you can no emotions, they thrive on attention whether good, bad or ugly. Hopefully he'll get bored and realise there's nothing to see here and go away.
You have a whole group of wise women here behind you sending you strength.

Omg @attractedtothenarcissist Run for the hills and don't look back. You need to extricate yourself asap!!

What does he mean by snapping??? And snap score?

He think you owe him a relationship because he picked up cat food.
Come on. He's a fucking idiot.

please say no children on either side OP?