Pic attached - controlling

[attractedtothenarcissist]

Please help me to see that this is not normal and that I need to cut him off.

Fell in love with another love bombing narcissist and I think I'm about to have to try and cut myself loose...

Exactly this. It’s scary how they all follow the same pattern, like they read a manual or something.

Those texts could’ve been sent from mine too (initials were DW, ring any bells op?)😂

My soon to be ex husband does the same - early on he would put about 20-30 kisses after each text, huge lines of kisses but he would get huffy if I didn’t text the same amount of kisses back. He would also withhold them if he was angry. I would feel huge pressure to put the same amount of kisses on each reply even if we were just making plans to meet or talking about what we had for tea lol. Madness! He is also a narc.

Agree with this. You've just let him know he's got something to chip at.

Block block block and keep yourself safe.

Don't let him back in your home for ANY reason.

Don't take him back for ANY reason.

You owe him NOTHING.

He sounds unhinged and dangerous, OP. Dump and block, this kind of thing is what blocking's for.

He’s mad. Checking your snap score to see that you’re talking to other people? Fucking crazy. You should really block him. The more you give him the chance to contact you, the longer this goes on

Block and run, The fact he doesn’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re “ should be enough!

Block his number. You've told him it's over, you don't need to read his messages any more. As for 'being an empath' you need to get some therapy to get to the bottom of why you keep picking controlling and bullying men.

Im a bit worried that you say in your last text that 'you need to be strong' because this is giving him a message that you are just saying it to pull him into line, and if he persists you will weaken.

you need to spell it out clearly

we are over
stop messaging me and do not come round
if you do not I will contact the police for harrassment

He sounds horrible. Yes most definitely bin him, it would only get worse.

and then block him

Don’t say you need to be strong. Just act strong.

If the second set of messages is from the same guy then you will really have to block him on all platforms. Do not give him any opportunity to wiggle his way in.

No normal person starts an argument so they can go see a friend. Nobody. That is a highly controlling person. If you can't actually block then hand your phone over to a friend and ask them to do it for you. They won't think that's a weird thing to ask

EDIT - I've heard good things about The Freedom Programme. It helps stop you bouncing from one abusive relationship to another. Please look into it.

Whoa… Get out of there. Thank goodness he’s shown you what he is and you recognise it. Give yourself a huge hug for seeing it and put those running shoes on. You might have fallen for a narcissist, but you’re not falling for his tricks. Well done ❤️

It’s much creepier than that. He’s looking at the snap score - this is a count of how many friends you have ‘snapped’ with or other features you have used, such as posting stories, videos etc. Once you are someone’s contact you can see the snap score and any increases as they happen. The only way for a user to hide the score is to remove you from their contacts. He’s keeping track of her activity by monitoring the increase in her score.

OP, dump him. You know what you need to do otherwise you wouldn’t have posted here. He’s a control freak, and a nasty one at that. He’s shown you who he is - believe him and run for the hills.

Saying you need to be strong makes it seem like your default is to be weak and he will exploit that.

I think you need to do the freedom programme lovely. If you keep meeting them, there is a pattern to be recognised.

The freedom programme can help you with this. Search online.

Run run run, and only stop to block block block - don’t even give him the courtesy of a single more interaction.

Run, don’t walk

What NettleTea said, send that and then block on all platforms, ignore calls from withheld / unknown numbers for a few days as well (unless you are expecting calls from people likely to use a withheld number like the NHS or such).

You are worth more than this. Please try and see that. 🌺

I know this thread isn’t about me and I don’t want to derail, but the second set of messages are exactly how DM speaks to me when I’m not in favour. Reading the responses on here, it probably goes some way to explaining why it took me so many years of therapy to stop dating narcissists.

OP, you’ve recognised what he is. Now get the heck out of there and block block block.

Block and move on. He seems to think that buying you a few bits entitles him to ownership of your time - it won't get better. You have to block him in order to not fall for his love bombing again.

I think the second set of messages are a previous partner- there are differences in the spelling mistakes made by the man.

At any rate OP, I would spend some time single now and look at the Freedom programme or the other programme mentioned by PP. There is a pattern here in the types of men you end up with and although it isn’t your fault that these men behave badly, you may be able to strengthen your own boundaries so that you don’t end up with another narc. Good luck.

EDIT: Just realised there is the same spelling mistake in the first set of messages so my first para is irrelevant.

He's a horror.

Block and delete on everything.