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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I feel resentment everyday with my girlfriend. Time to break up?

263 replies

LuckyPinkFish · 06/07/2024 20:42

I've been in a relationship with my for 6 years now and for the past 3 years i have been dealing with resentment of my relationship, my girlfriend brought 3 cats without even consulting me i feel so resentful when i have to take care of them at times... she also got herself into debt which has caused us to put our lifes on hold and me having to pay some of her debt off to quicken the process. I have been thinking of breaking up for over a year on and off because i just can't deal with this resentment... i feel it isn't the life i chose but was decided for by her. Overall our relationship is pretty good we spend time together etc but i just cant shake this feeling i see a therapist every 2 weeks for this reason but nothing has worked.

I am 28 and she is 29 we live currently with her mum which is extremely difficult to deal with at times however the debt situation has really meant this has prolonged us living here longer and longer.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 10/09/2024 17:35

Seriously, it doesn't matter how she reacts.
Just tell her it's over, and move out.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 10/09/2024 17:37

just do it !

the sense of relief will hit you later.

LaughingElderberry · 10/09/2024 17:53

LuckyPinkFish · 10/09/2024 17:23

I know, i just keep thinking if things would change or if this wasn't like this but then i also feel when i think of leaving so much more freedom i feel, i feel like i could do what i want more of... but it still isn't making me feel like telling her because I'm still hung up on this "i need another reason other than the cats etc. Because that was several years ago i should have cut her loose then" I'm all worked up on how she'll react itd pathetic i know

OP you are delaying and procrastinating. It's a natural response because you are nervous, you haven't had to go through a break-up before, and you're stressing about it. All of which is perfectly normal.

But putting it off is not fair to her. You owe it to her to be honest. The acid test on whether this is what you want to do is this:

If you knew that you could break up with her and move out, and she'd be fine and everything would be civil and straightforward - would you do it?

If the answer is yes, then you need to get on with it. Rip the plaster off and tell her. Delaying makes it harder.

LuckyPinkFish · 10/09/2024 20:53

LaughingElderberry · 10/09/2024 17:53

OP you are delaying and procrastinating. It's a natural response because you are nervous, you haven't had to go through a break-up before, and you're stressing about it. All of which is perfectly normal.

But putting it off is not fair to her. You owe it to her to be honest. The acid test on whether this is what you want to do is this:

If you knew that you could break up with her and move out, and she'd be fine and everything would be civil and straightforward - would you do it?

If the answer is yes, then you need to get on with it. Rip the plaster off and tell her. Delaying makes it harder.

Yeah for sure, sometimes i go through a cycle though of feeling if she was to break up with me (the other way round) I'd be devastated at losing her... but then other times when i think of what i have to put up with or what i feel i have to put up with and then i start that resentment feeling i feel like i might not want to break up because of losing someone I'm comfortable with in so many ways... this has killed me for so long and i know i need to either come out or go all in with her but i still can't decide fully because every day feels different between the 2

OP posts:
Relaxandunwind · 10/09/2024 22:39

LuckyPinkFish · 10/09/2024 13:25

When i have had difficulties before her mums attitudes towards things etc I've explained in the past that i thought it would be better if i didn't live there anymore and got my own place but then she would say "if you can leave without me why can't you leave with me..." the problems i had with that was the issues ive stated above and aswell as that i don't want rent for the rest of my life if i have the opportunity to save more for a deposit and then be able to buy some place.

To answer your question I think its because even though i wasn't abused as a child etc i was never shown much love or any ability to make my own choices so now I struggle to make decisions for myself because of how people will react and also i really like the loving side she has towards me (i know she has done things that show the opposite) but to me this is the best love ive been shown which makes it more difficult to know is it just me being alone and noone to love me etc or is it i actually want to be with her but not in the circumstances right now.

"if you can leave without me why can't you leave with me..."

Well to that you can just say you want your own space for a while.
You’re allowed to make choices for yourself.
She can like it or not.
She has the choice of continuing to see you ( if that’s what you want) while living apart.

My DP and I live apart. It works for us. There is some truth in “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”

OR

Could you suggest a trial separation? If you’re both meant to be you’d get back together.

LuckyPinkFish · 10/09/2024 22:58

Relaxandunwind · 10/09/2024 22:39

"if you can leave without me why can't you leave with me..."

Well to that you can just say you want your own space for a while.
You’re allowed to make choices for yourself.
She can like it or not.
She has the choice of continuing to see you ( if that’s what you want) while living apart.

My DP and I live apart. It works for us. There is some truth in “ absence makes the heart grow fonder”

OR

Could you suggest a trial separation? If you’re both meant to be you’d get back together.

Yeah i mean both are a possibility i feel like if i was to leave i would feel relief eventually i wish i had never tied myself to move in because that feels still the biggest obstacle even having a place to go to makes me feel "how will she react" i have some serious issues with how people will view me as a bad person if i make decisions what are best for me it maybe sound dramatic and stupid but reviewing why i can't get over this really has made me realise this. Its not she will react by beating me etc it's more dealing with her disappointment of her thinking we are working things out but inside at times I'm feeling so resentful and unforgiving of this that i feel i need to be alone

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 10/09/2024 23:19

but inside at times I'm feeling so resentful and unforgiving of this that i feel i need to be alone

So move out.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 10/09/2024 23:37

How much is this new rental now costing you ?

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 11:48

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 10/09/2024 23:37

How much is this new rental now costing you ?

600 per month but that includes all my bills etc so that would be my outgoing plus my food shoppings.

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 11/09/2024 12:40

and how much do you pay her mother for living at her home ?

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 12:57

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 11/09/2024 12:40

and how much do you pay her mother for living at her home ?

Usually around 400 per month

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 13:12

And how much are you giving her for her debts each month?

OriginalUsername2 · 11/09/2024 13:43

You need to get out so you can actually think clearly.

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 14:03

TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 13:12

And how much are you giving her for her debts each month?

I'm paying £500 per month towards her debts

OP posts:
LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 14:04

She is paying around 400 per month towards her debts

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 14:07

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 14:04

She is paying around 400 per month towards her debts

Irrelevant, as this is not your debt and you're not paying it.

TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 14:10

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 14:03

I'm paying £500 per month towards her debts

Okay, so you're going to be wasting £1500 a month if you stay there.

£900 for rent and her debts. And £600 for the rent in your new place, which will be wasted if you don't move.

You don't need to waste £1500 a month!

Just move out.

TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 14:11

I mean, I'm staggered that you're okay with wasting £1500 a month.

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 15:41

I'm not okay with it but I'm just a coward and probably too immature to have ever been in a relationship

OP posts:
WallaceinAnderland · 11/09/2024 16:00

I'm still hung up on this "i need another reason other than the cats etc. Because that was several years ago i should have cut her loose then"

It's very possible you will still be saying this at Christmas, next Easter, next summer, in 5 years time, ten years time because it's clear you don't actually want to move out. You like the idea that you can. You have your safety net in place and that seems to be enough for you.

TheShellBeach · 11/09/2024 16:08

I agree that it's looking like your want to stay.
I'm not sure what else to say to you now.

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 16:14

Sorry guys thanks for your help over time. I can't ask for anymore from you you have all been so helpful and great!

OP posts:
MarkingBad · 11/09/2024 18:32

LuckyPinkFish · 11/09/2024 16:14

Sorry guys thanks for your help over time. I can't ask for anymore from you you have all been so helpful and great!

OP, like others I do understand where you are coming from. I spent 10 years in a relationship I knew was a dead end from year one. The problem was we were at different life stages, XP wanted to settle down and do the pipe and slippers thing and a wife with a nice part time job and maybe children. I wanted to have fun, be frivolous, had ambition and a career that meant working very long hours. I wasn't available enough so he punished me by sloping off for months on end and I let him come back, that was his punishment, our collective punishment was each other. So it became a competition, the more dramatic his leaving got, the more distant I became and it never made either of us happy and only drove us further apart. If I have a regret in life it is my part in that colossal waste of time and pain for both of us.

It seems to me that you and your DP are at different life stages too, you never will reach those stages together. She has a nice comfortable life living at home with mum, you don't enjoy it and it's driving you mad She has a lovely DP who only needs a bit of attention and he helps pay all her debts off. She has no reason to leave her comfortable life and has even threatened you with a split if you want to live elsewhere for a while. That's not love, it's control and you are on the hook If she loves you and vice versa, there won't be a split or it will only be temporary. If you split for good you've lost absolutely nothing but a drain on your resources and you will gain your peace of mind..

Don't let it run on for years until one of you literally stops caring or has a breakdown. One of you needs to make your mind up and it won't be your DP, she has everything in her life exactly where she wants it and is fully comfortable with the situation. This doesn't make her a bad person we all like to be comfortable but you want something different to your DP. If she cannot see how this is hurting you and won't work in a compromise you are both happy with then she never will and she doesn't deserve you. You both deserve better but you have to stop playing the game to get it. Partnership is never a competition someone will win, it's listening, reflecting, communicating and coming to a compromise you are both happy with. This is no compromise she is winning a game and you are allowing it.

All you have to do is move out to your flatshare, you don't owe anyone any part of you that you are not willing to give even if it is a reason.,You want to be happy and this is not what happiness looks like for you. If you can't have the discussion because it is too difficult for you, then just leave. If she wants to know why then just ten words will suffice ..."I don't want this anymore, it doesn't make me happy" end of conversation. It will come to that in the end anyway, leaving a situation always does boil down to those ten words.

LuckyPinkFish · 12/09/2024 06:21

MarkingBad · 11/09/2024 18:32

OP, like others I do understand where you are coming from. I spent 10 years in a relationship I knew was a dead end from year one. The problem was we were at different life stages, XP wanted to settle down and do the pipe and slippers thing and a wife with a nice part time job and maybe children. I wanted to have fun, be frivolous, had ambition and a career that meant working very long hours. I wasn't available enough so he punished me by sloping off for months on end and I let him come back, that was his punishment, our collective punishment was each other. So it became a competition, the more dramatic his leaving got, the more distant I became and it never made either of us happy and only drove us further apart. If I have a regret in life it is my part in that colossal waste of time and pain for both of us.

It seems to me that you and your DP are at different life stages too, you never will reach those stages together. She has a nice comfortable life living at home with mum, you don't enjoy it and it's driving you mad She has a lovely DP who only needs a bit of attention and he helps pay all her debts off. She has no reason to leave her comfortable life and has even threatened you with a split if you want to live elsewhere for a while. That's not love, it's control and you are on the hook If she loves you and vice versa, there won't be a split or it will only be temporary. If you split for good you've lost absolutely nothing but a drain on your resources and you will gain your peace of mind..

Don't let it run on for years until one of you literally stops caring or has a breakdown. One of you needs to make your mind up and it won't be your DP, she has everything in her life exactly where she wants it and is fully comfortable with the situation. This doesn't make her a bad person we all like to be comfortable but you want something different to your DP. If she cannot see how this is hurting you and won't work in a compromise you are both happy with then she never will and she doesn't deserve you. You both deserve better but you have to stop playing the game to get it. Partnership is never a competition someone will win, it's listening, reflecting, communicating and coming to a compromise you are both happy with. This is no compromise she is winning a game and you are allowing it.

All you have to do is move out to your flatshare, you don't owe anyone any part of you that you are not willing to give even if it is a reason.,You want to be happy and this is not what happiness looks like for you. If you can't have the discussion because it is too difficult for you, then just leave. If she wants to know why then just ten words will suffice ..."I don't want this anymore, it doesn't make me happy" end of conversation. It will come to that in the end anyway, leaving a situation always does boil down to those ten words.

Thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience of this situation. I think my problem at times is i can't help but feel like some of the things shes does i feel that "love" but i guess from the outside it isn't love it's all in my own head where i think this js the best relationship I'm ever going to get and this confuses me, at times when i think of breaking i feel so sad inside that i think "i don't really know if i want to break up" its so strange to explain and i know how frustrating this must be for all of you who have have me your advice and help honestly i don't want you all to think I'm not appreciative of it because i really am.

OP posts:
LaughingElderberry · 12/09/2024 09:39

OP you are only 28. You have years and years and years ahead of you. There is no way of knowing if this is the best relationship you'll ever have. But I would say it's unlikely; in practical terms you have no way of finding out whether there is someone else for you, because at the moment you are barely allowed to leave the house! This is not a healthy relationship for either of you.

Either way, staying in a relationship because you don't know if you can ever get anything better, is not fair to her. You stay with someone because you want to be with them - in your case because they are Miss Right. Your soon-to-be-ex is not Miss Right - she's Miss Right Now.

Let go. You will be happier and in the longer term so will she.