Ex has Texted 🙄

[LilacButterflies]

Hello!

I was in a relationship for 6 years and 2 years ago he just disappeared. We didn't live together because I have a child and I didn't want him living with us. I didn't really have any plans tbh, was just enjoying it all.

He met DD after 3 years and was actually brilliant with her, his mum and family were also lovely towards us too.

So on a Tuesday AM 2 years ago he left mine for work at 5am and it's the last time I saw him.

I realised at around lunchtime that I had been blocked. I got a txt that night from his best friend saying:
"* has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"

I didn't try to BTW, I was too embarrassed. I just deleted his number and avoided his area as best as I could.

Anyway roll on to work this arvo and I get this message:

Him: "Hey me how are you? How's DD?"

Me: "sorry who's this? I don't have your number in my contacts"

Him: Ben.

I haven't replied and just deleted his message but shit after 2 years and the way i was dumped it was so unexpected.

My friends think I should have replied.

I would have put that first. But what a nob block block block obviously it's ran dry elsewhere.
Cheeky fucker though just thinking you would.

I think I would have said 'Ben who?' and then blocked! But I think what you did was more mature! What a weirdo!

Oh my god what a knob. You have of course, done EXACTLY the right thing.

But this triggers my inner Nosy Parker, I REALLY what to know what tosh he would have come out with! You're a stronger woman than me!

I definitely agree with no physical contact. The reason I would have replied is to find out why he is contacting me. I'd be afraid he would start stalking me if I didn't. I'd want closure with me telling him there is no way on earth I want anything to do with him. I'd want this on record & for complete closure.

I'd be afraid he would start stalking me if I didn't

Really? Why?

That makes it easier to block.

Good on you for not caving in. What he did is unforgivable and I wouldn’t be interested in hearing excuses from him. You’ve moved on so continue to block and ignore.

Problem is, that will really inconvenience the OP. I expect she gets calls from the optician, dentist etc that come up as unknown.

" has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"*

I got dumped the exact same way many years ago. It's such a cowardly and pathetic thing to do. I would just ghost him... do to him what he did to you.

Yeah the school and the doctors use multiple numbers and that doesn't include any specialist doctors I'm refered to.

I don't understand how people block unknown numbers, yes it gets rid of the odd scam call but they must miss lots of important calls.

If he persists you may have to engage long enough to say stop contacting me this is now harassment?

The nerve. Whatever the reason he is contacting you now, you know it's only for his benefit.

Get your friend to text him "Do not attempt to contact LilacButterflies across ANY channels or her family or friends". Keep on blocking him.

On iPhone it doesn’t make a difference if you block them anyway. Yes your phone won’t ring and they get sent to voicemail, but you still get a notification that they’ve tried to call.

Wow doesn't Ben rate himself. Honestly, what a dick.

You on the other hand could give motivational talks OP. Go you (even if it's hard)

I had to post to say you sound like a badass!! Love that you literally just deleted and blocked! Good for you and your daughter!

The only message I would be sending is to say you don't want any contact in any way.
Depending on where you are in the world you can then use this to put in a complaint for harassment if he doesn't stop ringing. The law where I am is more than 2 contacts/ attempts at contact (phone calls, messages, emails,...) after you informing the person you don't want to be contacted is breaking the law and can be reported to police.

I'd have replied to the text message:
"Ben??? The same Ben that didn't even have the courtesy to end a relationship with me and got his best friend to do it for him, and who told me not to contact him or any of his family through any means possible....that Ben???? Time to follow your friend's advice 'Ben' and don't contact me again through any means possible."

Then I'd have blocked him.

Dumped him, has she? 🙄

If your friend is so keen to get involved, have her send him a message:

"LilacButterflies has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact her across ANY channels or her family or friends!!!!!!!"

He should understand the meaning of that...

No...id say Ben who?

Well, you know it's not going to be anything to your benefit! And you've already had closure by finding out he's a total waste of space. What else is there to discover? You've done the right thing, OP.

Your response is absolutely spot on. I'm not sure I would have been able to keep my curiosity at bay. Good for you! Keep going forwards.

You need new friends

Really, oh well Apple love to 'connect' people. Glad I have my Samsung A50

Simply because the man is obviously callous with no feelings about the hurt he caused OP. If he is capable of this behaviour I'd want to have it on record he contacted me in this way & the reason. Then I would make it perfectly clear I wanted nothing to do with him. Blocking him immediately is one way of dealing with it. I'd still want to find out what is going on in his head purely as a safety precaution also giving me early information to forward to the police if it was necessary.

Sounds like he's been dumped by whoever he dumped you for.

Block, block, block.