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Original poster

Ex has Texted 🙄

476 replies

LilacButterflies · 02/07/2024 03:23

Hello!

I was in a relationship for 6 years and 2 years ago he just disappeared. We didn't live together because I have a child and I didn't want him living with us. I didn't really have any plans tbh, was just enjoying it all.

He met DD after 3 years and was actually brilliant with her, his mum and family were also lovely towards us too.

So on a Tuesday AM 2 years ago he left mine for work at 5am and it's the last time I saw him.

I realised at around lunchtime that I had been blocked. I got a txt that night from his best friend saying:
"* has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"

I didn't try to BTW, I was too embarrassed. I just deleted his number and avoided his area as best as I could.

Anyway roll on to work this arvo and I get this message:

Him: "Hey me how are you? How's DD?"

Me: "sorry who's this? I don't have your number in my contacts"

Him: Ben.

I haven't replied and just deleted his message but shit after 2 years and the way i was dumped it was so unexpected.

My friends think I should have replied.

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 02/07/2024 08:02

Well done, you did the best thing. Ignore your friend, it didn't happen to her, and you're not a wet drip like her. How dare he tell his friend to say, do not contact him or his friends & family?! That's horrible. So no he doesn't deserve to message you now, just because he feels like it. It doesn't matter why he did it, he did it and could easily do it again. He probably met someone else, ghosted you to be with her. Now they've broken up hes seeing if youre available again?! Block his number. You deserve so much better than that, I'm glad you're a strong woman.

baileys6904 · 02/07/2024 08:02

To be honest, I think I'd allow contact and use it to my gain. I'd want closure and for him to know the devastation he'd left, especially to a child. Absolutely lay it on thick and then tell him to fuck off

Amsx · 02/07/2024 08:04

I'd want to hear the message but I wouldn't reply.

willWillSmithsmith · 02/07/2024 08:05

Parrotcoop · 02/07/2024 07:49

Not concerned exactly, but interested to know what was going on. This is a man OP was with for 6 years, presumably he wasn't a shit for all of it. I'd want to know what changed.

I'm not saying I'd be right btw, OP's approach is much better, I'm just not sure I could do it.

Show quote history

She’s over him. There’s no need for her to start picking the scab. When you’re truly over someone you are indifferent, not curious.

Roryhon · 02/07/2024 08:05

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/07/2024 07:56

You're rather assuming you'd get the truth rather than some self-serving pile of shite.

Yes exactly. You wouldn’t find out what happened.

What a self centred, cheeky sod! I’d be tempted to text him and say “quit bothering me. I’m perfectly happy with the no contact situation that you requested and have no interest in any updates on you or your life.”

Zonder · 02/07/2024 08:08

Well done...you're a strong woman. If he tries again maybe message that same friend with the message he sent you.

Janehasamane · 02/07/2024 08:08

Wow, what a shocking way to treat someone, you’d not even dump someone you’d had 6 dates with ljke that, never mind 6 years. That’s horrific,what a horrible man he is.

im glad you’re deleting, im sorry he’s hounding you. Keep blocking.

Lostworlds · 02/07/2024 08:11

I’d have been tempted to want to know why he did everything but deep down I believe you’ve done the right thing!
He has a cheek coming back into your life when it suits him but also shows that he’s never deleted your number.

ElBandito · 02/07/2024 08:11

I think you're right not to reply to him. However, if he keeps on bothering you THEN I'd message his friend to tell him to stop constantly ringing you. Funny and a little bit more embarrassing for the ex.

Shiningout · 02/07/2024 08:13

So he hasn't given a shit about you or your child for 2 years not even enough to respect you enough to tell you he wanted to end the relationship, and now he thinks he can just start a nice conversation and have a catch up??? Get tae fuck mate, what a cowardly shitty excuse of a man

crockofshite · 02/07/2024 08:16

My guess is that the woman he left you for has chucked him out and he's exploring options.

He's a slimy spineless cunt and I wouldn't engage at all.

Well done for deleting / blocking him.

IncompleteSenten · 02/07/2024 08:17

You are doing the right thing.

He's got some nerve.
Ignore your friend.

IncompleteSenten · 02/07/2024 08:17

My guess is he's split up with whoever he ran away with and so he's sniffing around.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 02/07/2024 08:21

baileys6904 · 02/07/2024 08:02

To be honest, I think I'd allow contact and use it to my gain. I'd want closure and for him to know the devastation he'd left, especially to a child. Absolutely lay it on thick and then tell him to fuck off

Someone who tells a mate to tell a gf they're dumped isn't interested in the devastation they caused. There are some people, and he might well be one, who destroy people's lives and walk off without a backward look. Why play his game?

Mollohfvh · 02/07/2024 08:22

Don’t answer or reply. He’s a horrible coward!

FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 02/07/2024 08:22

What an absolute prick.

Skyrainlight · 02/07/2024 08:25

Don't reply. He doesn't deserve even a second of your time. What an utter dirt bag. It's bad enough what he did to you, but to just dump your daughter like that too, unspeakable. Disgusting coward of a man.

K8ate · 02/07/2024 08:25

In all honesty, you had been together for 6 years and you didn’t want to take the relationship any further.
In your own words, you didn’t want to live together.
On that basis, who can blame him for ending the relationship.
The way he went about it however, is a different matter.
He should have told you, not simply blocked you.

Katiesaidthat · 02/07/2024 08:26

Parrotcoop · 02/07/2024 07:14

Oh.I think I'd want to know what exactly happened. Not what he wants now, but what happened then. That's so odd, I'd have probably been concerned he wasn't Ok.

But if you're happy with things as they are, you're absolutely doing the right thing.

He found someone else, obviously. You will never get closure with someone so callous. He just DOESN´T CARE.

user1984778379202 · 02/07/2024 08:27

Your friend is wrong. The last thing you need is to speak to him. He lost the right to know anything about you and your DD when he left in such a cowardly way. I'll bet he's been in a relationship for two years and now it's ended so he's decided to give you another shot. Keep him blocked!!

VaddaABeetch · 02/07/2024 08:27

We all know what he wants. He wants his hole.

2 years ago he had a brand new fresh exciting one. The shine has gone off it.

Can you imagine if you did speak to him?
I felt suffocated.
Mental health
I was confused
You put too much pressure on me
I was abducted by aliens.

Who cares. He’s a horrible human.

Fair play OP. You sound happy

SweetFemaleAttitude · 02/07/2024 08:27

baileys6904 · 02/07/2024 08:02

To be honest, I think I'd allow contact and use it to my gain. I'd want closure and for him to know the devastation he'd left, especially to a child. Absolutely lay it on thick and then tell him to fuck off

He dumped her via a friend after 6 years and barred OP from everyone contacting him again.

Why would you even give him the time of day? He has shown who he is.

Allowing a cocked like that back into your life, is just inviting trouble.

I wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing how much he had upset me. He might get a kick out of it.

OP is doing exactly the right thing.

SweetFemaleAttitude · 02/07/2024 08:28

*ever, not 'everyone'

Conniebygaslight · 02/07/2024 08:29

Well done for being so dignified at the first ghosting and just getting on with your life and again for just blocking him now. He picked the wrong women's life to try and ruin. You're certainly showing your DD about self-respect.

ilikemethewayiam · 02/07/2024 08:30

A tiny part of me would love to text his friend and say " Ben has contacted me. Tell him not to attempt to contact me across ANY channels or my family and friends!!!!!!!"

But ignoring and blocking is the right thing to do. You rock!