Ex has Texted 🙄

[LilacButterflies]

Hello!

I was in a relationship for 6 years and 2 years ago he just disappeared. We didn't live together because I have a child and I didn't want him living with us. I didn't really have any plans tbh, was just enjoying it all.

He met DD after 3 years and was actually brilliant with her, his mum and family were also lovely towards us too.

So on a Tuesday AM 2 years ago he left mine for work at 5am and it's the last time I saw him.

I realised at around lunchtime that I had been blocked. I got a txt that night from his best friend saying:
"* has dumped you. Do not attempt to contact him across ANY channels or his family or friends!!!!!!!"

I didn't try to BTW, I was too embarrassed. I just deleted his number and avoided his area as best as I could.

Anyway roll on to work this arvo and I get this message:

Him: "Hey me how are you? How's DD?"

Me: "sorry who's this? I don't have your number in my contacts"

Him: Ben.

I haven't replied and just deleted his message but shit after 2 years and the way i was dumped it was so unexpected.

My friends think I should have replied.

Yep.

I learned the hard way when I blocked unknown callers because of my stalker ex and was getting notifications of a missed “No Caller ID” call every thirty seconds. They show in your call list too 🙄

The front on him!! 😡🙄

You've amazing self restraint op to not listen to the voicemails. Good for you!

ooh, I would probably have sent back "What the actual fuck you dickhead". But I like this one better!

Please don’t reply. Block him. He doesn’t deserve one minute of your time.

THREE voicemails!?

This is funny. I would be tempted to listen because he very obviously wants something. That way I could walk around knowing exactly what it is he wants, that I am never ever in a million years going to give him! hahahahaha

No. Closure is a myth. Especially with a man like that. You'd never get reliable or satisfactory answers.

He's probably just out on parole now anyway

Ignore.

Your friends are insane to think you should reply! Of course you shouldn’t. Block him.

Block!!!

THIS is what the answer is.

How arrogant of him! He thinks he can just text you & say hi as if nothing's happened. How he ended it was awful & I wouldn't give him the opportunity. As for closure, well you had it really. He left for work & didn't feel you or your daughter were worth coming back for. Sorry to be brutal, but why would you give him the opportunity to talk when he never gave it to you.

There is power is silence - you hold on to that power!

Maybe he was in prison.
He left that day for court, hoping he wouldn't be incarcerated. When he was, he got his friend to stop you contacting him so you'd never find out.
Now he's been released, he can contact you again and pretend he had a brainstorm or whatever.

I wondered if he was in prison too

Crossed with Meadowwild

Is there any chance he was in prison and didn't want you to know?
I absolutely admire how strong you are to have handled him this way but OMG the curiosity is going to kill this cat!

Change your number.

Prison isn't an excuse. He treated OP with the greatest disrespect

What he did was inexcusable

I would have to listen to the voicemails but there's no way I would ever contact him again. My ex messaged me after dumping me horrendously and I was stupid and replied about how much he'd hurt me and I was moving on so not to contact me again. At the time I thought I was getting "closure" but actually it really bothers me even years later that I replied to him and let him know how much he'd affected me. Much better to ignore and leave them wondering, let him have a big question mark hanging in the air when he thinks of you.... it'll drive him nuts.

oh ! I hadn't thought of that !

Ok . Honestly I think that's a bonkers extrapolation and I would never consider it something that might happen, but that's fine, you're not me!

You are absolutely doing the right thing and your friend, at the best, is batshit crazy.

He deserves absolutely no reply from you

Except

Send his friend the same message that he sent you. Then block the friend. Tell your crazy friend that your ex wanted a kidney and leave it at that. It's the drama she's craving.

Keep going with your life.

Your friends are rubbish sorry but I wouldn’t value their opinion after such stupid advice. Not replying is the best thing you could possibly do and they should be applauding your strength not to ask him “why?”

sounds to me like they wanted to know his reasons for their own personal entertainment and drama. Idiots.

You're 100% doing the right thing. I'd be too curious to ignore it and as an outside I'm dying to know what is going on 😅
But you're doing so well!

Surely if he was in prison it's even less desirable to make contact?

I am so incredibly impressed by you! Well done!

I probably would have listened to the messages before deleting them (probably wouldn’t be able to resist) but I honestly believe it’s awesome that you didn’t. I am rather in awe of your strengh to be perfectly honest.

block him, ignore him, don’t give him headspace. You’ve moved on.