Most bizarre first date ...

[nonspap]

I went on a first date last night. We're both in our early fifties. We met for drinks from six. I was meeting others for dinner at eight. At seven his sister rang to see if he'd join them
For dinner .. he asked me there and then what my plans were so I told him.
He was a bit put out as o think he thought we were going f to have some sort of booze filled session.
He told me that his family would be passing down .. we were seated outside the bar.
Anyway .. at ten to eight he said ' there they are' jumped up and said ' right, I'm
Off' and left me there !!!!
I was shocked.
He started texting me then saying he had a great evening !!!
I told him how exceptionally rude he was and that nothing like that had never happened
Me Before .
He then replied by saying ' But you said you did t want to
Meet them..'
I'm actually laughing as I think about it now but I was disgusted at the time ..
I can't get over how he thought I'd or indeed any woman would accept that shit!
Old me would have possibly given him a second chance. Healed me is like, jog on.

Your post is hard to read but as I understand it you told him you had other plans from 8pm and he then left to meet his family at 7.50pm. Sounds like a normal thing to do!

Sounds ok to me too

Don’t understand what you wanted him to do? Introduce you (who he’d only met 2 hours before) to his family?

I had no issue with him leaving but he literally jumped up from
His chair and left while shouting
'Bye'. That to me is rude

How do you think it should have gone instead OP?

That did sound rather abrupt, but you were going on to other socials.

I’m confused. Had you arranged to have dinner with your friends at 8pm at the same place as the date. So at 8pm you would say goodbye to him and move to a different table?

If so, I don’t understand why you are miffed that his family came to meet him at ten to eight. Your date was pretty much over and you only had ten minutes to kill before you sat down with your friends

I presume that he was conscious that you’d been clear you didn’t want to meet them, so he was rushing to catch them before they came over and made things awkward for you.

Sounds fine to me, you told him you had plans at 8. I’m surprised you hadn’t already left before 7:50.

Are you put out because he left first?

Oh ok , yes a bit rude. How was the date itself though? Was it awkward in other ways?

You both had other plans then. His goodbye to you sounds a bit charmless but that's all I got from your description of the evening

I don't really understand how he was ruder than what you were planning to be?

Sorry, can't see the issue here. Maybe it's how you've phrased it. Was it that he abruptly left? Even so, I've heard of far worse first dates

I’d have felt a bit put out too if someone arrived on a date with me and told me there was a time limit because they had other plans later. I would feel like I’d been squeezed in to suit them.

His exit sounds a bit awkward like he panicked about them arriving and not wanting to introduce you but I’d give him another chance - but at a time neither of us had other plans.

I'm confused OP. You literally told him that you were going to bin him off at 8 anyway...so why are you now berating him for saying goodbye and going off with his family (who you TOLD him that you didn't want to meet ffs!!) at 7:50?

It's you who are coming off badly in this situation. You should probably consider apologising. You were rude.

I mean it sounds a bit abrupt but perhaps he just wasn't sure how to close the date? You were the one who said you had to be elsewhere by 8 so I would have expected you to take the lead on wrapping things up by then, perhaps he found it a bit awkward?

The OP sounds rather bizarre to be honest

At least he said bye. I had one who just picked up his stuff saying, "I'll be off now," didn't look back and walked out. Though to be fair, it wasn't the worst part of that date.

If he shouted “Bye” that was rude to anyone nearby including you. But if he called out, then I don’t see the problem. You were both in a hurry to meet up with other people.

Maybe in future let your dates know if there is a limit to the time you will be spending together and don’t arrange to meet other people at the same location immediately after the end of the date. Doing so isn’t rude I suppose, but I would definitely feel I’d been slotted in before the main event of the evening. Perhaps unreasonably, I wouldn’t like that. Would you?

I'm not sure how else he could have played it other than asking his sister to wait a couple of minutes for him. But sometimes on the spur of the moment, it can be easy to not take the perfect course of action. My judgement might be a bit out dealing with first date nerves and my date saying that I was on a clock anyway.

If it had been me, I would have arranged to meet my sister there, as I had .

You sound like a nightmare to me. He didn't do anything wrong.

Yes, this! Unless he left a huge bill for her to pay, I can’t imagine getting upset over a man saying bye! Especially as he texted and said he’d had a nice time.

You said you didn't want to see his sister/family and had plans at 8pm which you hadn't disclosed pre-date and are annoyed he left at 7:50? He was trying to do you a favour.

Struggling to see what he did wrong, tbh. Ok, not the most suave exit ever, but not a hanging offence.

Are you going into this dating lark a bit on the defensive, do you think? I wouldn’t blame you (it sounds hell from what I read here), but it comes across as a bit prickly.

If course, he could have been a charmless oaf in general - only you could know that!