Most bizarre first date ...

[nonspap]

I went on a first date last night. We're both in our early fifties. We met for drinks from six. I was meeting others for dinner at eight. At seven his sister rang to see if he'd join them
For dinner .. he asked me there and then what my plans were so I told him.
He was a bit put out as o think he thought we were going f to have some sort of booze filled session.
He told me that his family would be passing down .. we were seated outside the bar.
Anyway .. at ten to eight he said ' there they are' jumped up and said ' right, I'm
Off' and left me there !!!!
I was shocked.
He started texting me then saying he had a great evening !!!
I told him how exceptionally rude he was and that nothing like that had never happened
Me Before .
He then replied by saying ' But you said you did t want to
Meet them..'
I'm actually laughing as I think about it now but I was disgusted at the time ..
I can't get over how he thought I'd or indeed any woman would accept that shit!
Old me would have possibly given him a second chance. Healed me is like, jog on.

I went on a date where he turned up looking like he’d slept in a skip, nursed sn orange juice for 20 minutes then told me he had to take his dad to Tesco.

Not sure who was most relieved to get out of there asap

I think that’s rude to tell him mid date he’s only got a limited time slot and I would think it was an excuse to cut the date short

You don’t see it as rude and are convinced it’s all on him but as you can see a lot telling you same thing then maybe take it into consideration when planning dates in future.

Another person who can't see the problem. You sa d you had plans at 8, he left at 7.50.

Maybe he was a bit abrupt just getting up and going, but I think you telling him after the fact how rude it was is also a bit strange!

Why would you arrange to have a dinner on the same eve as a first date? thats odd

I bet he couldn't wait to get out of there. Who on earth organises other plans two hours into a first date. It's rude as hell, and I'd have lost interest straight away if that happened to me

My dating experience vastly improved when I kept the first date to 1-2 hours and drinks only.

Seriously? Most guys seemed to appreciate it. I always had other plans just after. Let them know that I was just free for a few hours up front. Really no point in wasting anyone’s time if you meet and figure out there is no chemistry within a few minutes.

The OP didn’t tell him upfront though she only mentioned it mid date when his sister called him so it possibly looked like she was making an excuse to cut the evening short.

I only ever do drinks or coffee as a first date but I also don’t date to a time slot.

Its nice to have the flexibility to continue iif it goes well imo

Is it ruder than telling someone after an hour that you have only allocated them a two hour slot?

1. You told him mid date that you had later plans (I think that's a bit rude, I would have mentioned this before the date itself - bringing it up as you did sounds like an excuse to cut things short on the date rather than mentioning it in advance so that he knew it wasn't a reflection on him)
2. He invited you to meet his sister/family and you declined (fair enough, I wouldn't want that on a first date either)
3. His sister arrived 10 minutes before you had to leave and he bounced off to meet her (knowing you had said you didn't want to meet her, so might well have thought to 'head her off' to avoid inadvertent embarrassment)
4. Sent you a nice text.

Is that it? None of it matters anyway as you've decided not to give him a second chance.

I think he's more up for the award for the most bizarre first date than you, OP! Imagine if you were halfway through a date and he'd said to you that he'd arranged something else - I'd feel a bit put out and that he was making excuses because he didn't rate me. Weird and a bit nasty, never mind being healed. Healed means not taking any shit, not actively dishing it out yourself.

Sounds very awkward, but I think it might be something you both could laugh about in a few years time, if it went ahead. He probably thought you’d leave around 7.30 for your dinner plans at 8 and told his family to pick him up just before 8 so that there’s enough of a gap, but when you both still where there chatting close to 8 and they arrived, he panicked. I somewhat can picture this being quite a funny situation.

Yeah, I worded badly sorry. Knowing up front that a date is only going to be 2 hours, fine. Getting an hour in and then going "I've got other plans in an hour" gives the impression that you've just made it up as an excuse to end the date, even if that's not actually the case.

I see what you mean. I figured the other “plans” could be “canceled” if things were going well. As it turned out, I only went on about 4 first dates after adopting this policy I met my husband pretty quickly. We chatted for a month before meeting due to schedules and me getting a cold. He was really baffled when I told him first date would have to be drinks because “I don’t eat with strangers because food is too important.” 🤣. I did make an exception for him and it was the BEST first date ever.

Yeah, totally. It would feel really bad to be on the receiving end of this. But ditto with being asked to join someone’s family?

There's nothing wrong with saying I have to be somewhere at 8. It's a first date ffs.

Again... I had told him
Pre date that I was free for a drink or two at a certain time. I have other commitments that he knew about. I would never leave a time of more than two hours on a first date . That's just my
Personal preference .

If he knew it was only for two hours.
Then this from your opening post doesn't make sense.

At seven his sister rang to see if he'd join them
For dinner .. he asked me there and then what my plans were so I told him.
He was a bit put out as o think he thought we were going f to have some sort of booze filled session.

Also him knowing is a crucial factor.
Why did it take till post 6 to mention it.

That what puzzles me. Also if his sister knew he was only on a two-hour date she'd be unlikely to ring in the middle and interrupt would she, she'd call at 8pm to ask how it went and if he fancied food?

She didn't
Know he was on a date . He said he was going to tell her that I was just someone he bumped into 😂

I am gobsmacked at the responses you've got @AGodawfulsmallaffair.

The polite thing to have done is to just say "right, I see my <other people> have arrived, thanks for a lovely drink - sure you won't say hi? - ok, I'll drop you a text. Enjoy your dinner".

Are people here being completely obtuse or are you all lacking in the very basic manners of how to say goodbye to someone you're on a casual date with?

I know, @CutthroatDruTheViolent! There are worse social skills on this thread than I've seen for a long time on here.

I did wonder the same thing pp. different strokes etc ...

I think it's fine, honestly. Especially as he texted afterwards to say it was great. Some people make a big thing of goodbyes. I prefer a quick "Bye then!". He saw his family, you didn't want to see them so off he went.
I wouldn't say it's bizarre.