Most bizarre first date ...

[nonspap]

I went on a first date last night. We're both in our early fifties. We met for drinks from six. I was meeting others for dinner at eight. At seven his sister rang to see if he'd join them
For dinner .. he asked me there and then what my plans were so I told him.
He was a bit put out as o think he thought we were going f to have some sort of booze filled session.
He told me that his family would be passing down .. we were seated outside the bar.
Anyway .. at ten to eight he said ' there they are' jumped up and said ' right, I'm
Off' and left me there !!!!
I was shocked.
He started texting me then saying he had a great evening !!!
I told him how exceptionally rude he was and that nothing like that had never happened
Me Before .
He then replied by saying ' But you said you did t want to
Meet them..'
I'm actually laughing as I think about it now but I was disgusted at the time ..
I can't get over how he thought I'd or indeed any woman would accept that shit!
Old me would have possibly given him a second chance. Healed me is like, jog on.

You sound very confusing. Did you write this after drinking. You literally told him you had plans and sounded like you already gave him the brush off. Maybe he assumed you didn’t want to meet his family.

I also think allocating time like this and having plans straight after is really rude, as the cut off would need to be quite sudden with no room for playing it by ear. I find people having several plans like this insufferable and I wouldn’t be the least bit interested in someone who does this.

Yes it’s odd and awkward behaviour. As for being rude, maybe he was giving you a taste of your own medicine. You were rude to announce the time limit on arrival. Maybe up to 2 hours is standard for you, but not for everyone. If I’d gone to the effort of going on a date I’d personally expect it to last 2-3 hours, 3-4 if going well. It sounds as though you didn’t communicate the cut off point prior to meeting? And he wasn’t a priority for your evening. If it’s an after work drink or a pre-other dinner plans drink, I’d expect to be told so, even if the plan was outlined as ‘meeting for a drink or two.’ If you really liked someone say, and they did this - wouldn’t you feel the same?

You also arranged to meet your sister in the same venue, expecting him to bugger off when you specify. That’s also rude. You should have arranged a different venue or communicated your intention beforehand.

Sure he was rude/weird/awkward/whatever it was at the end, but you’re coming across as really self-centred here.

So if you already told him you were meeting your family for dinner, why is he asking if you have any plans and would you like to meet his sister for dinner? How many dinners does he think you can eat? Also, why are you still sitting at a table reading his texts when you are supposed to be meeting family in about 5 minutes? Sorry, I’m a bit confused by all of this

THIS.

I think you’re rude for making alternative plans and sacking the date off to be fair 🤷‍♀️

OP: I met a man for a date and was disgusted by his rude behaviour

The internet: no, you were rude

OP: I certainly was not

The Internet: You really were

OP: Absolutely not. He has his allocated time and I made that clear. And then he left!

The Internet: again, you were rude!

OP: well I think what I did was fine. And all of you who don’t agree with me are wrong.

The Internet: you sound like hard work!

OP: I am still right. Goodbye!

What on earth is wrong with that? I've hated being walked places after dates, it's presumptuous too if we haven't snogged.

Two hours does seem brief if you're getting on, but I have always tried to plan dates so there's an automatic get out after three or so (usually meeting at a time in the evening that means there's either a last bus to catch, or else the excuse of work the next day). The one daytime date I had I was very glad that I had plans with friends to go to in the early evening. Having friends who've been awkwardly rejected on dates with the person suddenly remembering a friend they've got to go and meet, it feels much safer and more genuine to have a proper reason to need to go if you're not feeling it.

OP is not saying he shouldn’t have left at 10 to 8. It was how he left. If your date suddenly jumped up saying “see ya later” surely you would think they weren’t well mannered. It sounds like he doesn’t have any social etiquette.

I suggest meeting for a walk and coffee for a first date.

But he didn't. He had already told you they're going to be passing / clearly picking him up.

Honestly, the only person in this post that was rude is you. If I met anyone for a drink to find out they had other plans 120 mins after- I'd be seriously pissed off.

He's dodged a bullet. He said bye. What did you want him to do- walk you to your next table where you had planned (without telling him) your next meeting. 😂

I think most people behave differently on a date they're enjoying with a person they like vs one they're not enjoying that they want to disappear from as quickly as possible.

I think they're just acting instinctively, not thinking, "What is the exact right thing to say so I won't be dissected on mumsnet."

Yes as the last person said and CutthroatDruTheViolent you are right of course, your proposed response would be the right one. The issue is that OP perhaps doesn’t have the right to be outraged by the rudeness when they themselves have been very rude already.

I came here for the stories but it's just loads of people telling off the OP for being weird because she found it rude that her date jumped up and left abruptly yelling 'bye!' and leaving a trail of dust in his wake.

MNers always advise a quick drink or a daytime coffee as a first date. When 'what are you up to later?' comes up, is everyone meant to pretend they have absolutely nothing planned for the rest of the day? 😂

MNers always advise a quick drink or a daytime coffee as a first date.

It's still fair to let your date know there's a hard stop planned.

Exactly this, someone comes on to moan about someone else being rude and in the recounting of the story it turns out they haven't exactly been the bastion of politeness themselves!

😂😂😂Brilliant

I would have expected he would walk the op to her car/bus stop etc l, or wait either way her til she could see her family arriving and then disappear. Not to bugger off and leave her on her own. Really dreadful.

I think you were rude OP.

Well, the date was in June 2024 so presumably he's got over it now, and so, has she.