Most bizarre first date ...

[nonspap]

I went on a first date last night. We're both in our early fifties. We met for drinks from six. I was meeting others for dinner at eight. At seven his sister rang to see if he'd join them
For dinner .. he asked me there and then what my plans were so I told him.
He was a bit put out as o think he thought we were going f to have some sort of booze filled session.
He told me that his family would be passing down .. we were seated outside the bar.
Anyway .. at ten to eight he said ' there they are' jumped up and said ' right, I'm
Off' and left me there !!!!
I was shocked.
He started texting me then saying he had a great evening !!!
I told him how exceptionally rude he was and that nothing like that had never happened
Me Before .
He then replied by saying ' But you said you did t want to
Meet them..'
I'm actually laughing as I think about it now but I was disgusted at the time ..
I can't get over how he thought I'd or indeed any woman would accept that shit!
Old me would have possibly given him a second chance. Healed me is like, jog on.

But if his sister was walking off it makes sense that he'd want to run after her and walk with her. Your date was at an end. You were having dinner at 8. How much of a prolonged goodbye did you want?
If his sister hadn't been walking down the road then I'm sure he would have taken his time saying goodbye.

Did you like him and would you like to see him again?

I agree his departure was a bit hasty but he could have been flustered so that's excusable.

Did you get a peek at the family? 😁

I'm sorry, but I think it's odd that you had made plans for 8pm and I'd be quite offended if I'd only been given a two hour slot

I think he would be justified to call it a bizarre first date tbh

How rude! The exit of a 1dt date is meant to be as awkward as possible and he just got off scott free.

@Sookafatwan 😂😂. I was so embarrassed esp as a group of men saw the whole thing and were smiling and waving over , with pity I might add😂

can you write in proper sentences OP, your post is hard to read.

If you told him before the date that you only had 2 hours then it's fair enough that he left abruptly, you said you didn't want to meet them so he was probably saving you both the embarrassment. He could've been a bit warmer with his goodbye but maybe he wasn't really feeling it

You told him you didn’t want to meet his family so he probably jumped up quickly so they wouldn’t come over and introduce themselves which would be going against your wishes.

I think you’ve jumped the gun here calling him rude and should probably apologise.

Can never predict how these get answered! To me, just jumping up and saying right im off is incredibly rude and he deserves the disrespect he was shown.
Having plans later on (as OP did) isn't unusual and gets you out of a bad date comfortably and also gives a time constraint to the date. And it would have been weird to meet his family. A strange man all in all!

My mind is blown that anyone could think that jumping up and essentially
Leaving me on a high stool without warning, is ok at the end of a date.
He knew I was there for a drink or two or not an open ended timeframe and he knew the reasons why, which were valid.
This was a first date . I have no intention of spending any more than the time it takes for a drink or two with a man I've literally just met. That's how I date.

I wouldn’t worry about it. You don’t need to see him again anyway if you dont want to. Did he have any of the necessary criteria ? Was he over 6ft ? Bald ? Where he or his family very wealthy ? And, always the date winner, did he have a criminal record ?

Yes to any of the above is worth another go.

Yeah he was rude. As you can see by most of the replies though, a lot of people wouldn't be bothered by a man being rude on the first date.
He should have arranged to leave at the same time as you at least, not just jumped up and ran off. I don't think women in general expect alot from men on dates anymore hence the blaming you for being offended.

What kind of farewell would you be expecting?

I'm with you OP, I would expect something like. I see my sister, so will say goodbye now, it's been lovely to meet you etc etc. Either arrange to communicate in the future, or not.

Not sure I would have expected more than that, it reads as if you knew he would be shooting off and you had somewhere to go yourself. What did you want, is it that he left before you that caused your upset?

Without sounding rude, perhaps a bit of tolerance of others might be a good thing.

So many rude responses. A simple, enjoyed the date, enjoyed your company, wow that flew over etc etc is a million times nice than a right im off!

Aside from the abrupt departure, what was he like? Was there any chemistry between you? If so, I'd brush this one off and give him a second chance.

It's a bit abrupt but I don't think it's the grievously offensive thing you believe it to be.

Meh. I doubt he was pleased that you had made other plans and it might have seemed like you had already ruled out doing anything or going anywhere with him after. But yeah it was a bit abrupt how he left.

But "just a drink" if given an actual chance can lead to so much more if you hit it off (and no I don't mean sex). I once met a guy for "just a drink" and we got on so well we were asked to leave the bar at 1am closing time, he then came back to mine (it was closer) for coffee (not a euphemism) and we ended up chatting and laughing till after 4am, we then dated for nearly 3 years after that "just a drink". You had ruined that date before it had even started. I don't think you are in any way "healed" and a bit of therapy might help.

If you're not going to see him again, I think he's the one who's got off lightly.

I think this was a communication issue u didn't expect him to maybe go with his family there and then. U where going to leave at 8 though they wer probably only passing by at that time so his chance for a lift but he should have made that clear in his communication. Also I wouldn't book a dinner for 8 if u have a date at 6 it would come across as a bit rude saying basically im in a rush I have plans after this in 2 hours what if he or you where late or enjoying yourselves

It sounds OK to me. You had to be somewhere at 8. So did he, though he invited you to join him until you told him you had a fixed commitment. The time came for you both to head off to your new appointments. He got up, said bye and left. I can't see what was rude. It wasn't unexpected surely. He'd told you his family were stopping by to collect him, did you expect him to hang around making them wait while he ... what? Had a long romantic goodbye with you? On a first date? In front of his family?

He then messaged you after enthusing about meeting you. He doesn't sound rude to me and I hate rudeness!

A mannerly goodbye? 😂 you sound like someone from Bridgerton or something! So his goodbye was a bit abrupt, maybe a bit irritating but hardly the crime of the century! How was the date apart from that?

Don’t you think he was a bit unsure how to end the date maybe it felt a bit strange seeing his sister and he did it without thinking. Slightly thoughtless is definitely different to being rude.

YABU and you sound like the bizzare part of the date. It sounds like you said that you would meet him for a drink or 2 but not actually told him that you actually had plans at 8pm and I think telling him that on the actual date is rude. If I went on a date with a guy that made plans for afterwards I think I would be miffed that he couldn’t keep the evening free and had just given me a time slot. I think he’s dodged a bullet.

I dont see that he did anything wrong. You’d both agreed to both leave as you had plans for 8pm. What did you want him to do?