Dating Thread 249 - Summer

[librauk]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*
*

@margotmoon interesting, I've used "fun casual dates" & "longterm relationship" myself.. to me it translates, would like a relationship but not in a hurry... in the meantime don't mind bit of fun (dates). I don't go as far as putting sex-positivity in my profile though 😅

@Day99 Yes, I've revised my opinion on this since posting! I've been chatting to a few blokes on Bumble and that's the general vibe.

Come off Facebook Dating though, it was giving me the heebie-jeebies.

I’ve got fun casual dates and LTR on my Bumble profile and I make it clear I’m not looking to hook up after about 10 minutes!

I see it as you’ve said - nice laid back dates and in no rush. Just take it slow and see where it goes.

I’ve got a date tonight 😁 finally! Really looking forward to it although am very nervous! Send good luck vibes please 😂

@JH20000 that's excellent, really hope it goes well, you will need to update us!

I have a date too, Sunday hopefully. I'm feeling anxious already if I think about it! Ridiculous.

Exciting! @JH20000 look forward to the check-in

It went really really well. I went out for food with him and it was non stop chat. We’ve already arranged date 2 for next week. Was a lovely evening ☺️

That's great @JH20000

Really good to hear a positive outcome x

@JH20000 that's a brilliant update! So glad it was a lovely evening.

Hi! I'm new here and just wanted to share this as I am completely perplexed!

Started chatting to a guy from OLD - moved onto WhatsApp. All fine, seems nice enough although a little bit keen to point out what a big, important job he does. Then he starts peppering his messages with photos - a well presented dinner with a glass of red on the table, his wine rack, his work desk (because he has a big, important job, ya know) and I just had the feeling it was all just a little too perfect and staged (as well as a bit odd).

Reverse image searched the photos and lo and behold, they've come from various people's social media 🤣

Just...why? Some kind of scammed or pure fantasist?

@AmICrazyToEvenBother

scammer, by the sounds of it
Block and delete and report if you can.

I had my first date in approx 5 years last night and it went really well! 😊

I did it as a quick drink after work before going to meet a friend at the cinema (as I like a get out of jail free card) so it was 90 mins only but non stop chat and we got on really well. He asked me out again next weekend at the end of it.

So now I'm trying not to overthink it all! I did a quick Facebook check but not a deep dive into social media, as want to try and get to know him slowly and in person, not by stealth.

I'm chatting to 3 others on Bumble but not swapped numbers yet.

@AmICrazyToEvenBother Deffo scammer! He'd be asking you for money before long - some sort of 'funds need releasing' bullshit

My update is that I may have found a gem on bumble after sifting through a lot of dross.

Matched with a guy a couple of days ago and messaged so far been really great, chat flowing and no awkwardness at all. He lives an hours drive away but he’s from my town and his mum still lives here so he visits regularly.

He’s busy this weekend and I go on holiday for a week on Wednesday so it will be a couple of weeks before we can arrange to meet but so far so good.

Great update!

I thought he might be a scammer. What a loser! Blocked and reported!

Sounds exciting :)

I had my fourth date last night with Mr Local, and I’m hooked 😅

BUT a reservation appeared when we were talking about our kids and the future - not in a meeting sense! He has one at uni and one doing A Levels, my kids are primary school ages. We spoke about how anchored we are to where we live, neither of us are particularly, but I got a slight sense that once his youngest is at uni he would like to move away. Still very early days, and we ran out of time, but something we will no doubt talk about if we progress.

Out for dinner next week and I’m really looking forward to seeing him.

LittleFloatingGhost Great update, glad it's going well! How far away from each other are you now?

JH20000 Great update too!

MargotMoon And another great update! I'm glad you had a lovely date. 90 minutes is perfect for a first meet

@NervesOfCotton He is 20 min drive from me - very close! Nice to squeeze impromptu coffees in or a quick lunch, in between ‘proper’ dates 😁

LittleFloatingGhost Oh yes, that sounds perfect!

I've had a few 'Ooh, maybe' ones on Bumble, but then you get to the end of the profile & it's 'Oh FFS'

'I'm looking for a curry woman and she MUST have HUGE boobies'.

And

'Well I thought that women wanted a nice, kind man but apparently all you lot on here care about is looks so sod the lot of you, you ain't nothing to look at yourselves'.

No idea why they are single?!

Also there's one who has put one single photo on, of (assuming here) his mum & sister, with him standing at the edge of the photo, half cut out of it! Probably trying to show that he's a nice family man but it would be nice to see him too

Im afraid I will miss the next thread so jumping in quickly to see if there is a new one?

Can I join? Divorced and going on first date tonight with a man I will call Mr S. Lots of chatting online and texting since we connected a week ago and he has booked a v nice place to meet and seems genuine and upfront. No sexy chat in the way that previous men have done. Two hours to get ready and I'm a little nervous as I don't want to get into any of the details of my complicated life, but find small talk hard and usually am an open and honest person. How do you offer a bit of info without unpicking things... I'm just trying not to offload anything and feel very cautious. Have had some supremely awful experiences in the last few years and took a long while off to focus on my immediate crap. And had no desire to date or see anyone. But then this popped up and now I'm thinking can I do this? Can I date and just have a relationship that's not intense and yet doesn't cause me huge anxiety???? Lots of green flags so far so I guess we will see later!

Welcome @aqualibra99
Hope your date goes well.

Starting new thread .