Dating Thread 249 - Summer

[librauk]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*
*

Place marking, new name. Same bumble

Are there any nice 49-54 year old men on here? Just asking as I am not getting anywhere on dating apps.

You never know 😉!!

@Bestlife18 - I am probably the female version of the men you are describing as I have 35 days holiday and as a childless high earner I take 8-10 trips a year (but no fishing on my hobby list). My lifestyle is just not really compatible with someone who has young kids (ie pre-teenagers) and I assume you are experiencing that from the other side. So someone who is more of a homebody/with a busy career or a single dad is probably better suited for a single parent.

@occhiazzurri yes I think you're right, in my case anyway! I feel like I've been looking in the wrong direction and want to start over.

@Bestlife18 so how are you getting on with the dates you had this weekend? Still chatting?

Following

Found y’all!

Nah @blacksocks33 i need to reply to the guy from last night mr footy and the other one I haven’t messaged all day today. It’s no good the thought of kissing either of them makes me feel sick!

But - before chucking the towel in, I have recycled a date from 3 years ago today. I went on a very quick drink date with him and never followed up on the offer of a second at the time. However, he has come up a few times since when I’ve been looking. I found out we had a mutual connection and I msgd to ask was he a decent person etc. she suggested I give him another chance as he is decent. So, I reached out to him and we have been messaging all day! Let’s see what happens here!

Yay!!

Had a date with Mr Macho. He is good looking but we're not alike at all. He was keen and I went along but I can't fall in love with someone I can't talk to and be comfortable.

Mr Latin. Very attentive and chatty, and responsive BUT (of course there is a but) he is charming because he constantly talks to other ladies. Call me old-fashioned but I would like someone just for myself. I try to be open-minded but I'm guess I'm not THAT open-minded 😲

Finally Mr Posh. I didn't think we would connect at all but he was so much fun. I spent like 4 hours in his company, and I just felt so comfortable with him. I could joke around with him and I definitely felt special. What I liked best is that there were no awkard silences and I felt I could just be me with him, be silly and he didn't mind my quirks nor did I mind his. He just sent me a sweet text.

So even though this is a stressful period for me, grateful for that time spent with Mr Posh. I really needed it. He was so good to me.

🤗

Ooh Me Posh sounds good! 4 hrs! That is good going. Yep charming is meant to be a clear sign of a wrongun by all accounts so think your gut instinct is probably right. Keep us posted, we need some hope!

Thank you for your support @Bestlife18 I will definitely update you. I love this thread and how we are all in this together. I have learned a lot and it's definitely cathartic to talk to people who are going through similar things.

@Bestlife18 definitely can't force it if the thought of kissing either of them is making you feel sick! But the recycled option sounds positive, that's great.

@blacksocks33 if I were younger with young kids I would definitely be looking at single dads. When I started this I assumed I would match with other single parents and mostly I have but I'm older and most of them have had fully grown kids so still in a different phase of life.

Mine still have a few years before they are independent plus I work full time in a busy job so I don't have much time for hiking/biking/skiing either.

@cassiatwenty you've been busy! Mr Posh sounds lovely, that's great that you've had such a nice date experience with him.

I've moved to WhatsApp with Mr TV and feel like I'm cheating on Mr Email which is ridiculous as haven't met either of them.

Feeling super anxious about meeting Mr Email in real life, it's not til Wednesday but Im feeling physically anxious about it and it's only Monday. Not good!

Also meant to say I've joined my local Facebook page, are we dating the same guy type thing, thanks very much for whoever it was that mentioned that. Omg its eye opening. Definitely worth joining your local one.

@cassiatwenty Oooooh Mr Posh sounds interesting! Keep us posted!

Date with Mr Modern is underwhelming. I put a lot of effort in the dinner but unfortunately he had a bad day, not entirely his fault but it dampened the mood nevertheless. A friend suggested me to give him some more time, she has recently burned the bridge and now badly regrets it. I'm seeing my therapist this week so may seek for her advice as well.

Also, does anyone here have children? It's one of the big decisions I need to make, probably in the next year or so. May I ask what changes they made to your lifestyle and how happy/unhappy you felt in the first 5 years?

@Mckittens I was always out of dating single dads because of trauma I had with my ex husband during my pregnancy. The thought of dating another dad, for along time, has made me think of him and it's been a big trigger for me. I had edmr therapy recently after being diagnosed with ptsd. I'm not sure I'm entirely over it (the trauma not my ex!!!!) and I'm not sure how it would all even out but the more I plod on with the "no kids" guys the more I just think I don't have anything in common with them. And it's making me feel boring and bad about myself!
I'm absolutely not ruling either type out though and I'm pretty pleased that I'm being more open minded! It's going to be the right person, regardless of the situation!

I had a random match on bumble yesterday. I sent a message and, shock, no response.
I'm going to restart my profiles this week. I haven't really been active for a while tbh so hoping I'll come back with an umph!!!

Sorry I really needed to share this.

I'm not going to bother responding to this but is this sarcasm or an actual dig at me?

FWIW I DO have an intro so not sure what he's on about.

That’s why that one’s single! Block and report it! Looking for a reaction I think. There are so many toxic weird types out there!

Does anyone here go on the Reddit dating subs?

Is it Bumble? Is it a joke because the women (supposedly) take charge on that site? I don’t get the vibe that it’s rude but I am a bit lost to its meaning tbh.

My theory with Bumble is that people don’t check it every 23 hours or so. I never had so many matches ignored as on there. I admit I’ve not been on the apps for over a year, but the other apps then had no time limit so messages would sit there until you next logged on. But bumble only gives you 24 hours. If they don’t log on, puff. Gone.

They wouldn’t let me join mine as I didn’t have enough visible on my profile. I mainly use it to see posts on massive groups, so there’s not much interaction from me. I have a few friends but that’s it.

@Mckittens that is the danger with long messaging and building an picture....which may turn out to be inaccurate. Hard to keep the interest without the comms though! Wednesday isn't far away!

@cassiatwenty happy to hear date with Mr Posh went so well!

My date with Mr Canadian went almost exactly as I had anticipated; similar background and job. Nice evening talking but no spark on my part. I've agreed to a second date because he put me on the spot at the end of the date. But I'm not really keen. He's nice, just not exciting.

Mr Smile's never been married and no kids. Is this a massive red flag? I also think he works in finance. That's a red flag for me. Mr Skipper is still hovering. He might be getting a bit annoyed at my inability to find time for a date with him. No news from Mr Tight Jeans. As well as the jeans (!) he lives quite far away....

@MeAgainAndAgain yeah it was bumble.. I just unmatched , cba biting.

So basically what I've done is create a message prompt , so those who are interested after matching can just answer the prompt or send another message of their own, instead of me making the first move. I've also stated this in my profile 'I'm not making the first move but you can.'

Too many rejections so cba dealing with it