Dating Thread 249 - Summer

[librauk]

The Rules:

• The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
• Develop a thick skin.
• Do not invest emotionally too soon.
• It's all BS until it actually happens.
• Trust your gut instinct.
• People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your faulT.
• Know your wortH.
• If it's not fun, stop.
• Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*
*

Oh it sounds like it’s changed since I was on it then. Is it better now men can message first?

@MeAgainAndAgain yeah getting few messages but also getting a lot of matches and no messages too. 🤣 Bizarrely gotten a few who have extended matches but not messaged so clearly didn't read my profile 🤣.

@newdater32 That’s too common to not read your profile unfortunately. What if it said you were ENM or moving to Australia next week or that your photos were ten years out of date, they could be missing really important stuff!

Hi everyone,

It's good to read your updates!

@Mckittens It's almost Wednesday. It's understandable to be a bit nervous. A lot of the time being nervous is more nerve-wrecking than the date itself.

@Okigen Yes, that is understandable. Sometimes we all have days that aren't that good. I hope talking to your therapist sheds some light on how to proceed.

@blacksocks33 Yes it's always helps to have things in common with that other person. Surely single dads are understanding what's it like to have kids.

@Chocolatefreak It's good that your date with Mr Canadian went well, although no spark. I'm curious how things will pan out with Mr Skipper.

Ok a little update 3rd date arranged with current date. But he’s not a big communicator. Some days I don’t hear from him. I don’t chase as he has told me he won’t message everyday. Prefers a phone chat. But we aren’t at that stage yet. The dates have been fab and we get on really well. He comes across pretty laid back. So do I just leave him to his communication style or suggest phone calls. As it’s over a week between 2nd and 3rd date??

@Tillievanilly id struggle tbh with a week between dates and no chat going on.

I’ve had a really weird one happen! In my utter despair after the weekends dregs, I signed back up to Facebook dating where I found the guy that I am recycling from 3 years ago! That’s set for Saturday and he’s a solid communicator so far - just hoping not another narc though.

however - I sent a like to a guy and I didn’t recognise him. It’s a guy I went to school with. Well, he is really hot! He messaged, we swapped numbers and were texting last night. I’m going to ask a mutual school friend about his back story but man he is super hot compared to the rest of the absolute pits. It possibly does mean he has a lot of interest but I do know him and we spent first 18 years of our lives together lol so feel I have the upper hand 😂

@Bestlife18 thank you there is chat just hit and miss. Some days great some none!
Yours sounds promising fingers crossed!

Hmm, it’s me and my own insecurities but I just need a check in. Equally my friend hates it and likes to be left in peace haha!

Yeah - really interesting so I am keeping options open. At least I know what both of these guys look like and they aren’t like the two from the weekend 😩

So I have changed name to this one as I am confused.

I am 47, literally look the best I have done in years and have built my confidence back up but part of me is just not ready to get out there again and the other part of me is saying now is the best time.

I opened fb dating for about a day and cringed. I met my ex on tinder and do not want to go back on there. Is Bumble the best? I am in Ireland not the UK if that makes any difference.

In the past I found bumble the best, then hinge. Tinder was rubbish (late 40s guy).

overall the experience was demoralising although I did have some fun dates and was with someone almost a year who was amazing.

I think I have a lot to offer, decent pics, good bio and very chatty but very few matches and often despite matching, no messages or very limited conversation.

will be sadly back on them soon!

Back from my holiday and so having a Quick Look at the app again - nothing changed.

The same old faces and same tired old lines.

The same ‘hi’ and 👋 zero effort messages

Same old same old same old

I think I’m done with OLD tbh. I am similar, 46 and looking much better than I have for long time but the men are just 😞I am going to see what happens with the two irons I have atm and if it’s a no, I think I’m coming off and trying to just get out in real life with purpose. It’s just bloody awful, where are the normal/ half decent looking men?!

It’s depressing @SamW98 i feel your pain. I just cancelled the renewal now on my match and going to delete the account now as I can’t bear looking at them it’s awful!

Just came back from quick drink with Mr Skipper. He's better looking than his photos, interesting and very nice. Will see him again!

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏😁😁

That’s so nice and rare when that happens!! Sounds good!

Advice please

I started talking to a guy and it was going well. We met and there’s really no feels from my end. We’re meant to meet this Saturday (I agreed to be polite) but I really don’t want to because I think it will be a huge waste of both our times as I’m talking to others anyway.

He’s texted me saying he misses talking (I’ve been quieter than I was before we met). There’s just no attraction there for me and I felt it was an awkward meet.

I want to text him to cancel this Saturday. What would you say? Never had to do this

I think if you know it's an absolute no then I would cancel. I think it would be kinder for him. And I would do it sooner rather then later so he can make other plans if he wants! MIT will make both of you feel better. You won't be feeling guilty and he won't be sad waiting for your message!

I deleted my profiles at the weekend! It's refreshing to not be swiping but I'm still hopeful as I'd love to be texting/dating someone right now. I'll probably rejoin in the next week or so but I think my head deserves a break! ☺️

@newdater32

"It has been nice to meet /chat with you and I think you're a decent guy. However, on reflection, I feel that we are not well- suited and I don't wish to take things further. So I'd like to cancel our date on Saturday. I wish you all the best in your search"

@newdater32 tell him you have chatted to someone and things have progressed there

It's happened to me! I sometimes think people are too nice to turn someone down

Hi, I’m joining this one. Was on the apps briefly last year, has a fun fling which has now ended so back on and bracing myself.

Do you have to have subscriptions on both Bumble and Hinge to be able to send any messages etc?

I’ve had a cursory initial look and it’s pretty disappointing. Lots of the same faces and some awful photos. Why so many in vans?!

@FallenFigs i know it’s crazy! In high vis jackets as well 😂

I personally didn’t get on with bumble but I didn’t pay, it was a pain because you can’t see who has also liked you without paying - I don’t think??

You can message on both for free if you match.
On bumble you can also send compliments to people without matching but it’s restricted.

Personally I don’t think either are worth paying for as you get very little extra for your money.

Oh the hi viz selfie with the camera about 5 inches away from their face really highlighting the flabby pasty look 🤣

On Bumble I can’t work out how to message - profile images are blurred out?

Hinge option - 10 years younger than me, lives on another city. Hot, though…!