He dropped a bombshell

[lancsy]

Hi ladies, I’m sure this topic has come up a lot but here goes. Been with husband 2 years and we have a 7 month old. Got married recently and the day after husband confessed to me to using prostitutes in the past (5 times). First 3 times when he was in his mid 20s at a strip club in Eastern Europe, a brothel in the UK and he hired an escort to his house. Second 2 he was in his mid 30s in Amsterdam and Aus when it’s legal. He’s mid 40s now. He says he feels shame about it but the conversations around trafficking weren’t there 20 years ago. I’ve no reason to believe there are any more and he’s not using them now. His Instagram is however filled with young semi naked girls 🤦‍♀️ Thoughts? I don’t want to break our family up over this but I’m really struggling!

Dodgy post from this male poster as usual.

It's not one crime. He was (?) a serial prostitute user, over a long span of time.

And NONE of the things you listed that some men find unacceptable in women's pasts are equivalent to using prostitutes.

They actually just demonstrate male double standards, sexism etc. They are all things that Mra types & chauvinists would have a problem with, not men who see women as equals.

If it does, is it any wonder why men hide things like this?

Yes, it's us judgemental women's fault that men feel the need to hide their repeated prostitute use (inc. when they were the only one in their group seeking it out and doing it).

Until, in this case, they think the woman is trapped and going nowhere. Like straight after a wedding (and after having a child with her without mentioning it either).

You really are a disgraceful poster.

Your motivations for being on this site, as a man constantly posting at women, really make me wonder.

Oh and on the disgraceful abortion reference.

Funny how men who judge women for them, feel only a woman should disclose and be judged on it; not men whose partners had abortions.
I suppose they like to convince themselves that the abortions were had without male knowledge or encouragement. That is in total contradiction to almost every real life case I've read about on here and on other forums. Not only did the men know, they were generally the deciding factor, with their opposition to the pregnancy and child being the main thing that was instrumental in the woman having an abortion.
Often the men demonstrated high level emotional blackmail and manipulation too.

On the male dominated fitness I used to go on, they advised each other on how best to persuade their gf to have an abortion. 'Tell her it's not the right time, there will be other babies in future, make sure she's done it before you dump her or she might t do it". They'd 'joke" about making her a smoothie with miscarriage causing meds in it too.

Men who think like that about abortion history remind me of the ones who denigrate single mothers too; the male factor in their circumstances is always ignored; in their minds it doesn't exist. Only women are ever responsible for them ending up a single parent.

So just another example of sexist male toxic values.

He did say he was drunk on all those occasions 🙄

Yes I made him get a full check and he showed me the results which were clear

I actually had a BF who told me early on that he had been with prostitutes. He'd been with two in Russian when on a theatre tour and he'd been with others in the UK. I don't know why he told me because I wasn't judgmental at all but when I asked about it he got really defensive and clammed up. However he had very regular HIV tests due to this habit, which I assume eventually came to an end. I know finding this stuff out might completely devastate some people but it really didn't upset me at all in terms of how it impacted our relationship (global ethics aside).

It's so sad situation. You should be in the happiest time and now have to deal with his crap instead.

I know starting a separation and divorce isn't fun, but I wouldn't believe this is the last bombshell from him and you don't want to end up a boiled frog.

I always say, after the first time it happens, sober him knows what drunk him does and still picks up a drink. Sober him made the decision just as much as drunk him.

And, it's often the case that sober him wants to but can't face it so gets drunk as an excuse.