Long term Friend has sent me a D**k Pic!

[Menopausalgoddess]

Hi guys, would appreciate your input. I had a male friend (51) whom I’ve been very close with for many years send me a completely unsolicited D pic. I woke up to it Sunday morning via WhatsApp. He’d sent it around 4am with a comment that said ‘you’re so wrong…but so right!’ EWWW! This friend does have substance abuse issues but I still don’t see that as an excuse. I haven’t replied and from my side the friendship is over. I would never feel safe around him again. I feel sickened and violated. We have mutual friends who will at some point realise I am no longer around as we generally meet at this creepoid’s house. Would you tell them the truth if they ask questions regarding my absence? I’m aware that unsolicited D pics are prevalent from online strangers these days unfortunately but has anyone received one from a long-standing male friend? How did you respond? What was the outcome? TIA

The comment that accompanied the photo seems odd. Was there prior context to it or could he have intended to send it to someone else and you got it in error? If the latter, it's still pretty gross that a man of his age is thinks that sending unsolicited dick pics is acceptable (especially as I believe it's now a criminal offence).

I would assume it was a drunken error, to be honest. A fairly repellent one, admittedly, but would assume it was intended for someone else. Has he deleted it and apologised?

I also thought: sent in error

Sent in error

Message him back asking why is it so small?

That will put the embarrassment on him 🤠

the comment sounds like it was part of a conversation so I’d presume an error

as you say the friendship is over so there’s nothing to lose by asking

I would reply
What the actual fuck Dave. I cannot believe you are the sort of vile man that sends pictures of their penises to women. I am blocking you don't contact me. Hope you learn to never do this again to anyone else.

If he’s a friend do you not fee you want to at least give him a chance to explain? It could have been a drunken error ie sent to you instead of the person next to you on contacts list?
If it was for you (weird message if it was) then you’re perfectly entitled to drop him and don’t owe an explanation.

All this plus adding it’s a criminal offence and he’s very lucky you’re not reporting him to the police.

Sounds as though it was meant for someone else.. friends for years then all of a sudden a 3am dick pic with that caption? Seems odd if it WAS for you, but either way I'd have replied saying erm put your glasses on. Perhaps he's still not realised he sent it to you. Or perhaps he has and doesn't know how to handle this.. I'd just make a joke out of it and then let the dust settle, he may well be utterly mortified...

I have no doubt it was intended for me. I believe the comment is in reference to a discussion we had several days prior about a casual relationship I’m involved in. He was shocked that women could be so open about pursuing a relationship purely on a casual basis. I believe he’s taken this as sign that I’m open to this sort of thing. I’ve always made it explicitly clear to him that I am in no way interested in anything other than friendship from him.

Is it definitely from him? Not a mate who’s got hold of his phone?

Sent in error. I don’t think I’d lose a friendship over this. I would assume it was a consensual exchange with someone and take the piss mercilessly.

He’s not deleted it nor apologised.

Send back, "I'm assuming this wasn't intended for me".

Add a helpful critique of said appendage for future reference.

Block (you may wish to make this dependent on his response if he's an old friend?)

Sorted.

Maybe he doesn’t even remember we sending it?

I had to block a 'friend' who did this to me. What a fucking disappointment; you think you're good friends with someone who happens to be a man, and turns out he was just waiting for the perfect moment to hit on you all along.

Makes me really angry.

I can't believe some people would remain friends with this idiot and/or turn it into a joke.

When someone shows you who they are, then you know.

I'd block him without any comment.

https://metro.co.uk/2022/03/13/people-who-send-unwanted-dick-pics-to-face-up-to-two-years-in-jail-16266953/amp/

I also need to add that I know it was intentional as there were signs over the past few weeks that I chose to ignore (as I thought he was a friend) but looking back I can see clear as day that something was brewing. I’m a naïve fool.

So it's definitely meant for you then.

Like fuck do you need to give him a chance to explain or apologise, it's perfectly clear to you that he thinks it's appropriate. The friendship would be dead to me too, and I'd be blocking him to protect myself from being send more images without my consent.

Grim. Definitely block him. I’d probably also report to the police.

That's exactly how I felt; I had turned a blind eye to much more subtle comments, so I'd given him some sort of 'in'.

But nah - this is all him. Fuck that guy.

Why on earth do they do this? Do they genuinely think we're so desperate for a cock that a picture of one will make us want them ?

If he had asked you out, you could have said No pleasantly and politely, now he has literally obliterated the friendship because he was thinking with his dick.

I think he fully intended to send it to you. Given the time sent and the substance issues I would suspect he either sent it after a night building up some Dutch courage. oh it just seems like a good idea at 4 am and came out of nowhere for him.
either way, you’re alright to want to protect yourself. If it’s truly over then I don’t think your response is required, silence speaks volumes. But if you did want to salvage the friendship and possibly the wider friendship group as a whole then a short response letting him know it’s not been taken the way he intended should do!
sorry he's shown his true colours after years of friendship!

He's 51 not 15! Why would his friend have his phone and why would he send such a picture?