Long term Friend has sent me a D**k Pic!

[Menopausalgoddess]

Hi guys, would appreciate your input. I had a male friend (51) whom I’ve been very close with for many years send me a completely unsolicited D pic. I woke up to it Sunday morning via WhatsApp. He’d sent it around 4am with a comment that said ‘you’re so wrong…but so right!’ EWWW! This friend does have substance abuse issues but I still don’t see that as an excuse. I haven’t replied and from my side the friendship is over. I would never feel safe around him again. I feel sickened and violated. We have mutual friends who will at some point realise I am no longer around as we generally meet at this creepoid’s house. Would you tell them the truth if they ask questions regarding my absence? I’m aware that unsolicited D pics are prevalent from online strangers these days unfortunately but has anyone received one from a long-standing male friend? How did you respond? What was the outcome? TIA

You're not a naive fool at all. You're somebody who trusted a man that he respected your boundaries until he breached them.

It takes a special type of knobhead to escalate to a dick pic when all of his previous advances were ignored.

My guess is that it's some madonna/whore bullshit. He had you on a pedestal (so therefore treated you in a way that most of us would just see as decently) then found out that you enjoy casual sex now his opinion of you has changed to see you as barely human, just an object for him to shag. It's absolutely vile behaviour and soaked in misogyny through and through.

This is not a friendship that is worth salvaging and sadly too he is not the person you thought he was. He was unlikely also to be drunk when he sent that image. It was designed to hurt and intimidate you. I would report him to the police, he could well end up repeating this to other women.

In that case I'd report the photo if WhatsApp then block. Personally I'd say my piece first. And yes, if any mutual friend ask just be honest, you've got nothing to hide.

I have long standing male friends who are ex's and none have ever sent a dick pic, they'd never cross that line despite having been intimate in the past. To do so with no history of intimacy is even more bizarre and the fact it's happened after the conversation you mentioned is doubly offensive. Now you know how he views you, sadly. Very upsetting, really sorry this creep found it appropriate to behave this way.

My god. I'd tell him exactly what I thought and that if he ever contacts me again I will go to the police. Really put the wind up him.

He's getting off in doing this to you.

Just report to the police, its a criminal offence and he is no friend.

Send him this, then block.

Thank you. This is exactly what I think has happened, you’ve put it much better than I could. Much appreciated. ❤️

I don’t know!!! Not sure there’s much difference between 15 and 51 when it comes to that.

Why would it be his friend? Plenty of guys do this, it's common as all fuck. Stop making excuses for him!

I'd respond.

I assume that disgusting pic is not meant for me.

And then expect a prompt apology.

They don't mind disgust. It's a reaction.

It's a shame that he's ruined your friendship. I think you do need to make it clear that you are offended and did not appreciate being sent that picture.

Agree. They get off on any reaction good or bad.

I get why some people would respond but I do believe silence speaks volumes and in all honesty it gives me such massive ‘ick’ that I don’t ever want to communicate with him again.

I never thought about it that way but I think you’re right.

This 100%
And strongly consider reporting this toxic sexually entitled man to the police.

My Main concern is whether to tell mutual friends when they inevitably contact me about my whereabouts. I had thought I’d just redirect them to the creep for comment but now I’m realising I’m doing that out of some misplaced need to protect him.

Grim.

The only unsolicited dick pick that is ever acceptable is a picture of Dick van Dyke.

Block and move on. He’s a misogynistic creep.

🤣🤣🤣

Don't risk spoiling other friendships over a misplaced desire to protect him.

He did a stupid, offensive thing. If I was one of your friendship group I'd hate to think that you withdrew from us all but he continued to enjoy everyone's friendship.

You don't have to tell everyone, perhaps one or two people you trust - just be honest with them as to why you won't be having anything else to do with him. Don't lose friends, or be dishonest with friends, to benefit this vile man.

I’d just redirect them to the creep for comment

Don’t do that, he’ll make crap up. Just tell the truth.

”I’m no longer hanging out with Dave because Dave is a pervert”

I would not keep his grubby little secret.

When friends ask you, tell them what he did and that you were so disgusted by him that you don't want anything to do with him any more

You’re right. He’s not going to be honest. I don’t want to be the keeper of his dirty little secret. Thanks.

I would tell them now, 'Just got a D pic from Fred, can you believe it! I'm totally disgusted, sorry I can't be around him any more, hope this doesn't affect our friendship'.

I would tell mutual friends that you are no longer his friend as he crossed a boundary. If they press you then tell them it was an inappropriate pic. Such a shame he's spoilt the friendship group for you though, what an idiot.