Long term Friend has sent me a D**k Pic!

[Menopausalgoddess]

Hi guys, would appreciate your input. I had a male friend (51) whom I’ve been very close with for many years send me a completely unsolicited D pic. I woke up to it Sunday morning via WhatsApp. He’d sent it around 4am with a comment that said ‘you’re so wrong…but so right!’ EWWW! This friend does have substance abuse issues but I still don’t see that as an excuse. I haven’t replied and from my side the friendship is over. I would never feel safe around him again. I feel sickened and violated. We have mutual friends who will at some point realise I am no longer around as we generally meet at this creepoid’s house. Would you tell them the truth if they ask questions regarding my absence? I’m aware that unsolicited D pics are prevalent from online strangers these days unfortunately but has anyone received one from a long-standing male friend? How did you respond? What was the outcome? TIA

You give the example of a child who doesn't know better. A grownass man is supposed to know better.
Don't make excuses for creepy sexual harassers.

100%. I call them abuseosexuals.

Your reading comprehension is ..... Can't think of a tactful word.

Catch a grip.

What I said was that I've experienced the attitude behind some/most of this behaviour from males since I was a primary school aged child.

The attitude being 'here's what I've got, do you want it?".

That's what I think is behind most of this behaviour. Males of a certain type.(and it's not a rare type) think & act like that.

My post was entirely aimed at explaining the mentality behind men like that behaving like that .... In this case semi triggered by this man hearing the is having a casual relationship.

None of it was approval or minimisation.

Get it?

.

I would ensure that you have screenshots as well. Just in case he tries to make himself a ”victim” by stating that you were coming on to him.

They are flashers. The thrill for them is our non-consent

In this case, I doubt it.

The flirting and touching is an indication he is attracted to the op and would like to be more than friends with her.

After hearing op has got a fwb or whatever, he thought he might have a chance of the same. This was his clumsy and base way of going for that perceived chance.

The op linked him hearing she's in a "situationship" with his behaviour and I think shes correct.

Awful -what a betrayal and how utterly gross. He clearly didn’t care about your friendship. The idea that he felt because you were conducting your sexual life in a particular way meant it was OK to send you that is very telling. It sounds like he no longer seen you as worthy of respect.

This is why when I did online dating I rarely gave out my number. I suspect some men who wanted to move straight off the dating app to WhatsApp were doing it because they can’t send images on most of the dating apps but they can on WhatsApp. And any bad behaviour they engaged in on WhatsApp couldn’t be reported to the dating app.

I can’t imagine any actual friend including exes sending one of these though.Its one thing having to worry about a stranger from an app doing it but you shouldn't expect this from a friend.

And I totally agree with the poster who said it’s basically virtual flashing.

They are genuinely thinking the woman will be interested/impressed/turned on/it will hopefully give a positive response.

Is this a joke? It has to be a joke. "Genuinely thinking" a woman will like it, come on!

Reply “it looks like a penis…. Only smaller” then cut from life.

I agree. Sent by mistake. I had a person at work who did this. I was his supervisor. He was horrified lol. It was to go to his gf who's name was one letter off from mine.

Sorry OP I just read that it was on purpose due to the comment. He's disgusting.

I completely agree, all the 'funny' replies are not remotely funny. I doubt anyone would suggests funny retorts to having their breasts squeezed on the tube, so why when a dick pic is sent. It's disgusting and a form of abuse.

It's been mentioned a few times, not sent in error.

Not sure why people think the caption meant it was clearly for someone else.

Sounds to me like he was saying well we're friends so I shouldn't be doing this but I'm going to try it on anyway.

Just awful! I am sorry that you have lost someone who you thought was a long term friend.

At the same time I am glad you are not going to keep his secret. Dick pics are so entitled.

Yes that's why if you look a few posts up I acknowledged that and said he was disgusting.

Sorry, I must've typed at the same time and didn't see your update.

Thank you. Yes I do feel a massive sense of betrayal. I’ve had a few days to reflect now and I’ve come to realise that I’ve felt uncomfortable around him for a good while, I just ignored it. As gross as this has been, the silver lining is that I can walk away from the friendship (if that’s what it was?!) without a shred of guilt. My gut has been trying to get me to do this for sometime, I just wasn’t listening.

I’ve also had those thoughts about WhatsApp and OLD. Fortunately I’ve had nothing but respectful men (so far!), odd that it would be my closest male friend who’d take advantage. Thanks again for your comment!

Thanks. After some reflection, I’ve come to realise that it was not a healthy friendship. This whole thing is making me take a good hard look at some toxicity I’ve allowed to seep into my life. I know it’s his fault but my gut has been telling me something is wrong for a while now. Live and learn ey!

It’s ok, I get it. Yep unfortunately he’s got issues and I should have gotten away from him a long time ago but I felt guilty walking away. I’m actually thankful to be free of him from my life. I didn’t realise just how much the ‘friendship’ has been draining me and making me feel ‘icky’. Just wish I didn’t have that image burnt into my brain!

Yes I’ve taken screenshots, just in case.

Just be factual. I don't feel comfortable since I received a d pick from whoever which said.... He can explain anything else. If they come back and say he said it was a mistake (to cover up) this does not change the fact that you now feel uncomfortable. Facts.

Sadly I agree. I’d actually mentioned to the casual guy (who has been nothing but lovely) that I needed more female friends. This was a couple of weeks ago. My gut was telling me something.

YES 🙌 I actually feel so much lighter at the thought of never having to see or hear from him again. I’m still getting a tonne of snapshots of other suspect behaviour coming back to me, not just towards me but women in general. I have overlooked a lot of red flags, he’s undoubtedly misogynistic. Time for some self-reflection for sure!

I don't agree. Otherwise they would show it off in person, not at night/ off their faces/ to strangers.

Women know that in general men think about sex rather more simplistically than them. Men also know that to be the case.
They know sending photos of their dick is about their personal fantasises, not about turning on/ impressing the woman. .

Send the vomit emoticon in response