Have I gone overboard for boyfriends birthday?

[Howdon]

Hi Guys,

Just wanted to get an outsider view on what I have planned for my boyfriends 30th birthday. I'm 26 years old.

For context, we've been together 8 months now, and we've had a pretty great bond/ relationship. He has made an effort to make me feel like a priority.

I had a few trust issues, which have now been resolved, and we're both very much in love. We are talking about marriage and future plans, and moving in together etc.

From the very inception, my boyfriend has always been generous towards me, and has always done what he can to make me feel special.

The last 3 months have been tough for hin financially, and is he starting a new job when we come back from holiday. He has essentially been living off savings for the last 3 months, and has been quite low.

In the interim, I have been the one paying towards the relationship and often helping him out with cash etc (the cash given he has agreed to pay back in 3 Installments when he gets paid from his new job).

For his birthday, I have booked a 5 star resort holiday in Egypt for 8 days, all expenses for the trip are being paid for my by me, and that is one of my gift to him. The holiday has cost close to 3.5k for us both, all expenses included into this figure. He then told me this was very generous and he would not be wanting gifts, as this is a considerable amount of money, in addition to everything I have already done.

But I still went out of my way to buy him gifts. I bought him designer sliders for £310, a niche fragrance for £245, sunglasses for £254 and a grooming set for £50.

He doesn't know what I have got him, and the costs. Obviously, I can afford these things, so it's my choice to spend this money. But now I'm thinking is this all too much?

I am very much a person who likes to give, and I love buying stuff for other people more than myself actually. And I have never been the type to expect things from others, in fact, I'm not used to being treated as nice as he treats me! I have always been the giver in most of my relationships including with friends and family.

This can't be real. £300 on sliders?

Of course it's too much. £310 for sliders?? It seems to me like you have more money than sense and get your sense of worth from buying designer goods. That also shows insecurity. Just be yourself and stop trying to impress people with superficial designer goods. And put some money away in savings instead. One day, if you have children, and you don't have your salary coming in, that money will be the difference in you having to go straight back to work or being able to take them out.

You forgot that she has been giving him money to live on for the last three months.

I think it’s a lot, I took my then boyfriend away for the night, took him for a meal, and bought some gifts for his 30th and spent about £500 all together, which I think at the time was a lot.

Spend your money on therapy please, not on men.

Oh wow.

I accept it's his 30th birthday, but that is really really over generous!

I spent £600 on a one night treehouse getaway for DH recently, we are high earners, but it still felt a little bit ridiculous to be splurging in this economy, never mind for a boyfriend of 8 months who has questions over his infidelity.

That is thousands of pounds you could put towards a house/savings/pension.

I'm sure he would've still been happy with the £300 sliders alone.

I hope you haven't paid for too much of his stuff whilst he is out of work too?

I hope there's a way for you to take some stuff back for a refund or cancel the holiday?

If my husband bought me all those things I would think he was having a breakdown

I think that ship sailed in this case...

I'm sure he would've still been happy with the £300 sliders alone.

If I was struggling financial and someone bought me some £300 pool shoes, I'd be bewildered rather than happy.

Far to much for a birthday even if you can afford it I have been with my partner 7 and a half years and don't spend that much on birthdays not that I would even if I could afford it crikey I've for his next birthday spent about £400 but this includes 3 presents and a hotel away for 2 nights

You could have saved up between June when this was posted and now though.

seeing as how this thread has been resurrected - which gifts did you give him, and how was the holiday ? @Howdon

"I bought him designer sliders for £310..."

This has made me chuckle since the day I read it all those months ago.....😆

To add I’ve been with my partner 10 years almost and I’ve spent near £1300 on Christmas. That includes a weekend away.