He has just told me to F off

[Confusedandconfusedandconfused]

Partner of 1.5 years, we are away together for a few days.

He gave me some feedback based on a job I am applying for and it bruised me. I asked if we could speak back in the room rather than in a public place and we haven’t been speaking for the last couple of hours. I’m feeling stressed as have an upcoming interview and the atmosphere is not good.

We had dinner plans and I just said I wasn’t feeling up to it. I have also had another rejection for a different job I was applying to and feeling quite low.

He has stormed off out of our hotel and shouted at me to “fuck off”. I fully intend to.

What do I do now? We are in a tiny village.

He is otherwise supportive kind and patient but swearing at me is a red flag and I don’t want to continue the relationship.

Shoulder surfed. She'll have been working where he can see her screen.

Do you think he snatched the sheet from OP’s hands?

Where, on holiday in a small village, is OP going to be able to print anything out?

The reading comprehension failures on this thread are shocking.

They are indeed, also thinking its her fault for the interview when I would expect the holiday was booked before the interview was scheduled. Most employers aren't going to change their interview schedules cos someone is on holiday. I presume it will be over Zoom or similar.

The OP didnt help herself though by coming back on last night to suggest she did overreact (not in so many words) but the opening post was more alarming.

Teams ? I've done it if they won't offer an alternative date.

They were out somewhere abroad at a holiday destination she doesn't say my arse hole of a BF leaned over me, snatched my computer or anything like it but obviously you don't trust her to say that he did but you trust everything else she's said ....up until her post acknowledging she wasn't fair and he didn't actually stand over her telling her to fuck off and it was more of a comment to himself fucking off....that was a forced lie to I guess.
Her post implies she was happy until the advice wasn't what she wanted to hear ..
I think having a sulk instead of saying I need some time to think and prepare how about you go grab yourself some food while I have a quiet half hour is childish attention seeking behaviour no matter which gender does it.

People get annoyed and swear, I personally don't think it's a huge deal and I agree with your partner you are escalating it unreasonably. But if being sworn at is a deal breaker for you then maybe it's better that you end things. I personally would rather not be with someone that would end a relationship with me over two words.

It's only words, and words are all I have, to take your heart away.

@Skyrainlight what about the C word, as discussed in AIBU right now. Is that a redder flag?!

The C word is much worse for me than the F word, I have never used it, but I know some people use it more casually. I'm not sure what the other discussion is about, but I wouldn't judge a person's character on one word, I would look at the overall picture and who they are as a person and their general behaviour.

But the op did go on holiday with someone, did share a room and presumably did want a relationship but doesn't seem to want to work at being an emotionally literate adult.

That doesn't mean she has to put up with being needled.

Part of emotional literacy is knowing when you need a break from other people and acting to get that break.

I think that's a massive overreaction from you.

But if you don't voice I need space but give silent treatment your being the unreasonable child sulking I'm a corner waiting for someone to say sorry sorry sorry but not telling them what they have done. How is he needling her when it's her sat in silence saying nothing that's teenager thing.

I don't know if you were putting me in with those posters but I said my ex boyfriend was abusive, no the OP. So someone giving me silent treatment would absolutely be a trigger for me and there's is no saying it isn't for him.

Generally speaking though both parties need to be able to communicate for the relationship to work. If you're unable to do that you need to work on yourself before being in a relationship full stop.

Emotional literacy would be letting her partner know that she was upset (or whatever the truth is) and that she needed some space and that she would discuss it with him later.

Going silent and pretending not to be upset when questioned is immature.

No-one should be needled, but if they're creating an uncomfortable atmosphere with their mood and unable to communicate to their partner that they need some space (and will have a discussion with them to work it out once they've cooled off) then they probably shouldn't be in a relationship. And this 'cooling off' period should ideally be over by the end of the day. If a person can't process their emotions and work to then come back and resolve it with their partner in a reasonable timeframe then they probably need counseling to manage this better, or opt to be alone. A relationship isn't going to function by masking feelings and ignoring the other person.

OP told him she needed space: We had dinner plans and I just said I wasn’t feeling up to it.

His response was to storm out and yell at her to fuck off.

OP told him she needed space: We had dinner plans and I just said I wasn’t feeling up to it.

His response was to storm out and yell at her to fuck off.

And this 'cooling off' period should ideally be over by the end of the day.

Never date anyone autistic, for their sake.

its not OK for anyone to abuse their partner under any circumstances , he needs to apologize not her

MaideOfAle...you've really hijacked this thread with your projection and interpretations of what OP actually wrote. Maybe you can step away now and let OP herself respond to posters as to what she meant, if she wants to.

Well fkme sideways I hope the girl is alright. I doubt she expected 11 pages of responses. Lets hope it was all a storm in a teacup and they're fking alright afkinggain.

My interpretations are a problem? Not all the people misrepresenting job applications as "work" and assuming that OP asked for his feedback? Wow, that's some leap of whatever passes for logic around here.

I couldn't deal with you if I'm honest. You do sound hard work. Why on earth would you agree to an interview when you have a holiday booked if you know how you are before them? I'd be embarrassed even trying to paint him in the wrong when you asked for the feedback and you have ruined the holiday.

People do get het up.about the Anglo Saxon language dont they?!

I feel sorry for him being on holiday and you asking for his help yet not listening to it but taking umbrigde.

I obvs dont know what he said but a counsellor I used to work with said we should listen to the words without hearing how things are said and without emotionally reacting.

I think you need to clear the air and apologise.

Also you need to take some deep breaths to reasy yourself for the interview. Go through what he said to you and use it to improve your chances.

What you decise ref your relationship is up to you.

Good luck with everything.

But you need to apologise not him.

Is @jannier a bloke!? Why the hate for the girl? Interviews are stressful at the best of times let alone half way through a holiday. I couldnt imagine it, but if thats how it is then you've got to play the hand youre dealt.

The OP says this has been going on for months. The guy probably hoped a holiday would mean a break from the OP's moods, but instead it has just followed them there. I'd be pissed off too if I'd spent money on holiday just for it to be the same shit as every other day.