Would you find this level of stinginess unacceptable?

[WhingeyStingey]

I've been dating a man for a couple of months. He has many lovely qualities but has described himself as "tight" with money (although will happily spend ££££ on his hobbies).

For reference, I'm all about equity and have paid half for every meal we have had in restaurants. I also bought our coffees on our first date as he had travelled further (only 25 minutes though in total).

I've noticed the following behaviours which, frankly, have turned me off;

1. The first time he came to my house he turned up empty-handed. We had decided to cook a meal together and I had bought all the food, nice Gu desserts and alcohol. He did message on his way to ask if I needed anything picking up from the shop for the meal but obviously I had already got everything by that point. If it were me, I would have come with a bottle of wine or flowers (if a female friend).

1. That same evening, we nipped to the local pub after the meal and he let me pay for the drinks (we just had one each). I offered to pay so I guess it was my fault but now feel he should have paid as I had laid on the all food/dinks at my house.

1. We went for a meal and then to a fancy cinema. He drove (20 mins). I paid for parking (£10!) . We split the meal bill. The cinema tickets were on me as I have a membership and get 6 "free" tickets a year. We had a drink in the cinema and again, he let me pay. He made some comment about how he doesn't generally fork out for coffee but he is always happy to accept one if someone wants to buy him one!

Maybe it's me that has the problem and I should just stop offering. I'm quite a generous person and don't usually keep score but I've started to with him due to noticing these behaviour patterns. Would you be bothered by his tightness?

@tempname1234 don't worry, I ended it. You're absolutely right. I would not have dreamed of behaving like him.

Other than the stinginess he was a nice guy and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Plus didn’t want any comeback argument on the subject once I’d made my mind up. I just thought I’d keep it short and sweet.

Hurray on dumping him! I’m very curious as to his reaction? Any insight at all?

Good luck in your search for someone as loving and giving as you obviously are

so glad you dumped him, it would only have got worse - this is meant to be the ‘wooing’ phase!
the tightarse I dumped also smelt musty - strongly suspect he didn’t want to spend on laundry liquid/ hot water etc 🤢

...

> U may NOT have dreamed of behaving like him
BUT
U DID - U just got rid of the evidence

'Icked off' 😂that's a bew one

I think that's obvious, OP! You sound generous of nature.

(p.s. is it ok if we all ignore the strange and syntactically-challenged bot-esque being who appears to be attached, limpet-like, to your thread? Much obliged.)

I didn't tell my Mr Stinge for similar reasons. Also, I didn't want him hiding his stinginess from future dates until he got his miserly claws in.

His reaction was just a message saying he was "very disappointed" and felt that incompatibilities could be worked on! He did not ask what I meant by incompatibilities. Apparently the last woman to dump him did try to "criticise" him when explaining why she had ended things. I don't know what she told him but he was dismissive of her views.

Oh no, another musty-smelling miser! My friend may have dated the most stingey man ever.... he kept a jug of old bath water by the loo to flush with! He wasn't poor either!

My friends partner hangs tea bags on pegs and reuses them.

Hes hugely tight in every other way - often known to ‘forget’ his wallet

This is a massive ick! Run for the hills! He’ll be the type asking you to transfer him £1.99 for buying you a McFlurry. If he’s on a low income then it would be different but I can see you’ve said he isn’t!

Agree recrem! Hate meanness and in friends too. It has def put me off making plans with these type

Hate meanness - Y R lookin 4 a FREE ride ?
That makes no better than bein mean

Op isn't looking for a free ride. You've just got poor comprehension skills.

Best to ignore tbh

Op isn't looking for a free ride. You've just got poor comprehension skills
> INTERPRETATION

I think being frugal can be good, but I'm with Rabbie Burns in that there is power in being able to see ourselves as others see us.

Genuine question. Why do you always SHOUT in your posts?

Glad to hear you listened to your instincts. One question though, do you think it might be worth telling him how his behaviour/habits made you feel. In a totally respectful way. Its a shame hes a nice guy but not smelling the coffee!! This other woman may have said similar things so it might click. Obviously not your problem though you could end up making him reflect and ‘get it’! People do not have to be sharing or giving but it’s a basic love language. I wish you the best in your quest. Remember, keep your standards high as you well deserve.

The OP said on a previous post that she doesn’t want to give him the opportunity to mask this behaviour at the beginning of future relationship. This is the same reason I didn’t ‘educate’ my ex.

WhingeyStingey

I've been dating a man for a couple of months.

> Where is it goin?
a couple of months
>> U R JUST leadin him ON right now

I think after THIS amount of time.
ANY StingeynESS - IS completely VALID

He sounds like a grade A loser.

Dump and run.

I think that's a good reason.