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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So upset after being hit by partner

169 replies

Rach151 · 08/06/2024 09:09

Most of the time I live a happy normal life with my partner, we are currently trying ttc with no success yet. For the past week he has had some friends over to stay from away and I notice that he becomes a lad and plays up infront of them, trying to be funny all the time etc and being quite rude towards me although he thinks it's funny and I dont. I said I dont think it's funny i get replied with I have no sense of humor and I am too quiet. We have been bickering the whole week. Last night he got angry with me again behind his friends knowing he was screaming at me to get out of his house. I ran to collect some of my things he then got in my face telling me I cant go yet as his frineds will see, pushed him back slightly as was in my space he then hit me across the face to which I just screamed and cried so loud. His friends would of heard this. I then ran to my room for the rest of the night. The rest of the night I heard his friends laughing etc as they carried on there card game etc. Not one person came to see if I was ok. Later that night my partner came to bed and apologised for hitting me and again this morning he was trying to cuddle me and made me a tea. I feel so upset. He has hit me previously when angry and I know it's wrong but then he apologizes and he has temper issues but just with me it seems. I love him as we get on well when we do. Feeling so confused and upset.

OP posts:
isthewashingdryyet · 08/06/2024 09:10

Leave now. Do not have a baby with this man.

Zebrasinpyjamas · 08/06/2024 09:11

Don't have a child with this man. You will be tied together forever if you do plus the risk of harm to yourself and future child is high.

nobeans · 08/06/2024 09:11

Not one person came to see if I was ok. not on them. They probably didn't know what to do.

BabbleBee · 08/06/2024 09:11

Get out, get to a place of safety and never ever return.

cuckyplunt · 08/06/2024 09:11

No confusion, he’s an abusive dick. Do yourself a massive favour and dump him.
No man worth having will EVER raise his hand to you.

NowyouhaveDunnett · 08/06/2024 09:12

Please leave him. Don't have a baby with him.

Please, please just get out of there.

anon2022anon · 08/06/2024 09:12

Get of there as quick as you can. If you feel strong enough report to the police.

DO NOT BRING A BABY INTO AN ABUSIVE RELTIONSHIP. Sorry for shouting but a good man, a good father does not hit anyone, especially someone he is supposed to love. This is abusive.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/06/2024 09:12

He has hit me previously when angry

Get out get out get out get out get out.

BeaFuddled · 08/06/2024 09:13

He'll hit you again and again. In front of any kids you might have - imagine the effect that'll have on them.

He'll hit them too.

Itsonlymashadow · 08/06/2024 09:13

Why are you trying to have a child with this man?

What happens when the child makes him mad? Why would you risk bringing a child into this.

You need to leave him. He is an abuser. And it will only get worse.

HitsAndMrs · 08/06/2024 09:14

Please leave him, do not have a baby with an abusive man. Think about what you would tell your own child to do in this situation. Get out now.

Pigeonqueen · 08/06/2024 09:14

Why on earth are you trying for a baby with this monster?!

ThePerfectDog · 08/06/2024 09:15

Leave today, speak to your support networks in real life and tell them what happened.

This is not a one off already. He’s shown you twice who he is and all the lovey stuff this morning is purely manipulation.

Consider whether you want to press charges.

VinnieVanDog · 08/06/2024 09:15

No No NO! Don't have a baby with this man, don't listen to his apologies, you know this is all wrong. He crossed a line and if you accept it he will cross more and more and then you will have a child to protect as well.

Just leave and live your life.

SaltyGod · 08/06/2024 09:15

It won’t get better, it will only get worse.

He will not change.

This is not your fault.

DO NOT HAVE A CHILD WITH THIS MAN

You are lucky that he is being clear about who he is. He is showing you the real him. Judge someone not by what they say, but by what they do.

You know you need to leave. Not one person on this board will suggest anything other than leave.

candycane222 · 08/06/2024 09:15

The being rude for "humour" and showing off is enough to put the relationship in doubt. The violence (repeated) however removes all doubt. You need to end this. And be very careful how you do it as he may well become dangerously violent when you do leave. But leave you must.

Guavafish1 · 08/06/2024 09:15

My husband of 10 years has never hit me. He has no respect for you at all and is an embarrassment of a partner.

Look after yourself and leave this horrible person.

Mindymomo · 08/06/2024 09:16

I’m sorry but it’s a definite no from me, I would leave asap and not ever consider having a child with him. If he can’t handle disagreements now, he’s not going to cope with having a demanding crying baby and a hormonal partner and is anger could well escalate into something far more dangerous.

RedHelenB · 08/06/2024 09:16

You need to leave your partners house. It's happened more ymthsn once so what are you waiting for? There are plenty of men who don't hit their partners.

ThePerfectDog · 08/06/2024 09:16

nobeans · 08/06/2024 09:11

Not one person came to see if I was ok. not on them. They probably didn't know what to do.

Well check she’s OK and tell their cunt of a friend he’s out of order would have been a good start rather than carrying on drinking and laughing. I don’t think that’s a difficult course of action to decide on for any decent human being.

Greenleavesinthesun · 08/06/2024 09:16

I’m sorry but how can you be confused? Does it matter that you love him? Is you loving him at the price of a shit life worth it? Not being funny but what do you think is going to happen when you have a child, you will be in a far shittier situation and even harder to leave, so how much do you think the hitting is going to progress when he knows your trapped there?

Im sorry, but if it’s ever a question of going with the head or the heart, always, without fail, without question so with the head. You’re being foolish here, love is not enough.

Go find someone who you can have love and respect. He doesn’t love or respect you if his hitting you.

Be logical about this, for your own sake, how can you stay when you’ve been hit twice now.

No one came up to see if you was ok, no one is coming to save you, save yourself! Fucking Run!

CandyLeBonBon · 08/06/2024 09:17

He's hit you more than once. If you have children with him, they will witness domestic abuse and then he'll hit them. The police will be called either by you or a worried neighbour, and Social services will be involved and you'll be threatened with removal of your children or to split up with him.

Roughly speaking, that is your future. Unless he ends up killing you, or your children, because his violence escalated.

Why would you choose that life?

H34th · 08/06/2024 09:19

he was screaming at me to get out of his house. I ran to collect some of my things he then got in my face telling me I cant go yet as his frineds will see

Are his friends gone now?
Pack your bags when he's on the bathroom. Do not say a word to him. Leave. Block on phone.

Do you have a friend/ family he doesn't know of?

This will not stop until you leave. Leave, even if you don't want to, even if you love him - leave, trust us all.

ButterCrackers · 08/06/2024 09:21

Leave the situation. Plan your escape. Stay somewhere safe. Go to the police to report the violence against you.

Screamingabdabz · 08/06/2024 09:21

nobeans · 08/06/2024 09:11

Not one person came to see if I was ok. not on them. They probably didn't know what to do.

Oh that’s ok then? 🙄

Op ignore this post. What you’re describing is assault and it’s a crime. You might think you love him but he is not a good man and does not have your interests at heart. This will only get worse. You deserve better.