So upset after being hit by partner

[Rach151]

Most of the time I live a happy normal life with my partner, we are currently trying ttc with no success yet. For the past week he has had some friends over to stay from away and I notice that he becomes a lad and plays up infront of them, trying to be funny all the time etc and being quite rude towards me although he thinks it's funny and I dont. I said I dont think it's funny i get replied with I have no sense of humor and I am too quiet. We have been bickering the whole week. Last night he got angry with me again behind his friends knowing he was screaming at me to get out of his house. I ran to collect some of my things he then got in my face telling me I cant go yet as his frineds will see, pushed him back slightly as was in my space he then hit me across the face to which I just screamed and cried so loud. His friends would of heard this. I then ran to my room for the rest of the night. The rest of the night I heard his friends laughing etc as they carried on there card game etc. Not one person came to see if I was ok. Later that night my partner came to bed and apologised for hitting me and again this morning he was trying to cuddle me and made me a tea. I feel so upset. He has hit me previously when angry and I know it's wrong but then he apologizes and he has temper issues but just with me it seems. I love him as we get on well when we do. Feeling so confused and upset.

1. Nail down your contraception. Do not have a child with this man.
2. Leave. I mean, why would you stay?
3. Read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft. Free pdf online.
4. LEAVE !!! Like today, now.

How will men like this ever understand how wrong this behaviour is if there are no consequences. Zero tolerance. Sadly it will happen again. And again. Don’t be there to let it happen to you.

No its not OK. But it's irrelevant wether they thought it warented help. They are probably scared of him too or they all beat up their girlfriends.

Run for the hills NOW. He will be all lovely and sorry after bit that won’t last for long and be will do it again. The jokes are to wear your sf esteem down so you don’t leave.

get out now- go on the freedom programme and do some counselling to recover from the abuse.

sending strength

Imagine this happened to your friend, what would you do to keep her safe?
Get her away from this man.

That's what needs to happen.
Decent men do not hit their girlfriends.

Do you have a friend or family to stay with?

So you know:- domestic abuse gets worse in pregnancy. Please leave now before you do get pregnant and are tied to this monster for a lifetime.

His mares are as bad as him for continuing everything alright. Please get out and report him to the police.

The minute a man raises his hand for the first time WALK AWAY

He's an abusive cunt who has assaulted you. If he did this to a stranger in a pub he’d be arrested and charged so why is it different behind closed doors?

This.
💯

Go.

It will only get worse and rapidly

I'd report it to the police and leave. Do not make the mistake of having a child with this guy. You and your child will regret it. It will get worse.

As always the first response is the best!

You are lying to yourself in thinking that you love him and get on well. This is not a loving relationship and hitting you is not acceptable. Fuck him! He’s not a good man.

If you don't leave now it will get harder each time he hits you.
He'll also be less 'sorry' next time and more full of all the "it was your fault you made me... " Bollocks.

Please do not have a child with a man who has hit you.

If he feels he has you trapped because you had a baby then he's even less reason to pretend he's not abusive.

You need to leave now. You are not safe. This will continue to escalate. Don't bring a baby into this shit show and tie yourself to this man forever.

When I was much younger in my late teens / early 20 I met someone who I thought was the love of my life. He was beautiful, tall, blonde, blue eyed, funny, charismatic, musical, clever. He was the whole package. He totally love bombed me. Then he started nit picking and criticising, then hitting the wall, then throwing things, then hitting me. It took around 2 years. It was always my fault and something I did or didn't do. I tried to be compliant, more reserved, more respectful, more agreeable. I tried to dress more to his liking and to not draw attention. Whatever, I did was wrong. Anyhow one day he hurt me really badly. He refused to phone an ambulance. He went to get bandages and butterfly stitches. He took the phones and locked the door. I stood at the window calling for help but no one came. I then got scared he'd hear and beat the shit out of me. He come back cried, lovingly bandaged me, begged my forgiveness and then made me go out with his friends. I made excuses for my injuries. Although, what could be seen was the tip of the iceberg. It took me a few, too many, times to leave. It took me a decade to recover emotionally.

Run now. Trust me. This is not love.

Hes hit you more than once. I dont care if hes lovely the other 90% of the time, leave him.

its good youve called him partner not husband.

your trying to conceive? This is madness. Theres domestic violence here before a baby comes along and you think bringing a Baby into this is a great idea? Please dont. What if he steps up the DV on you? What if he hits the child? Also you need to think about if you do have a child and split up, he would still see the child without you there to protect it.

call on friends/family to get out of this today.

I hope you are safe. You need to leave. Do not
Have a child with him

If that’s the case his mates are cowardly and stupid and likely abusive arseholes too. I suppose you can tell a lot about someone by the company they keep.

the twat boyfriend only bothered about how things look in front of his pathetic bunch of cowardly mates too, FFS.

He’s hit you twice because he was angry. Do not have a baby with this person!

end the relationship now he will never change.

If you don't have the time or mental capacity to express appropriate empathy for the victim of domestic abuse don't post. Post on threads about parking or soft play etiquette where it doesn't matter.

OP I'm so sorry this happened to you. His friends are likely to think shouting and making someone cry is OK because we generally surround ourselves with similar people. They probably won't know he hit you.

The most concerning thing is that his behaviour can't be kept in check. He's hit you before, which means he has had his one chance to look into himself, get therapy, support from the GP and substance misuse services etc to ensure he never hurt you again. He didn't bother.

He doesn't love you enough to learn how not to hurt you.

He only cares about himself. Please don't stand for this and don't subject a baby to this man

Please don’t have children with this man. The abuse will only escalate & they will witness it. You need to leave this relationship now OP. Listen to everyone here, they’ve been there & they know.

Please leave him and don’t bring a baby into a violent relationship. He won’t change and he’s not sorry, he will keep hitting you

Leave him right now and you can't possibly have a child with this abusive bully.

He has shown you who he really is and it is appalling that none of his friends intervened to protect you.

If you stay he will do it again and again.

Report him to the police as well.

I would lock yourself in the bathroom, ring the police to say you are afraid of what he will do and they will come to remove him from the house. Then take your stuff and leave.

'@nobeans

They probably didn't know what to do.'

Don't be daft. It is obvious what you need to do when a woman is being hit by a man and you are witnessing that...

How would you feel if you had a baby, and social services removed them from your care?
This is what you are risking having a child with this man.
Do NOT bring an innocent child into this.
Leave before he kills you.

He has hit me previously when angry

Ring or go to the Police and report all incidents

End the relationship

"He has temper issues". Do NOT have a child with a man who you know has problems controlling his anger. Children will push you to your limit on a daily basis, someone that can't control their temper, and resorts to physical violence when angry, is not the one. Not for you, and certainly not for any future children you wish to have. Leave op, and find someone who won't hit you out of rage. For you and any children you want to have, as imhe will not change for the better, he will becime more volitile when functioning on little sleep with a crying newborn, or a boundary pushing toddler. He will not suddenly learn to control his rage, and it certainly won't be the lovely family set up you're imagining. It will become abusive for all of you