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Original poster

He blocked and ghosted me 😭😭😭

159 replies

Pizzapie82 · 02/06/2024 23:30

I haven’t seen my little girl’s dad since I was 13 weeks pregnant. He wasn’t happy I was pregnant and said that he wanted me to have an abortion. He said that if I didn’t he would never be able to trust me and wouldn’t see me or the child. He blamed me for getting pregnant and accused me of tricking him. Erm, no-it happened the one time we had sex without condoms. Think he needed to take a biology lesson.

Anyway, I didn’t contact him since then but noticed about a month before I have birth that he had blocked me on Facebook and messenger. I thought this was so unnecessary considering I hadn’t contacted him even once since I had last seen him so not like I was hounding him or anything.

My LG is now 7 weeks old and I thought that for her sake I would message him on WhatsApp as noticed he was still available on there. I thought that he might have decided not to block me on there just in case. I sent a very civil message letting him know I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I said that I would leave it up to him if he wanted to be involved or not. I didn’t receive a reply and his profile picture disappeared. The bastard has blocked me without so much as the courtesy of a response. I can’t believe someone can be like that. We were only together a matter of weeks when I got pregnant and I certainly wasn’t expecting any sort of ongoing romantic relationship and understood why he wasn’t happy. However, he gave me no indication that he was the type of person to ghost someone. I’m just gutted for my LG who clearly will have no chance of having a relationship with her father. 😓😭😭

How can someone do that sort of thing and then just get on with their day without a second thought? I just don’t understand it.

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 02/06/2024 23:31

What a horrible person. Not just to you but his own child. Just unbelievable. Is his very young?!

Tomorrow I’d call the CMS and give them his details.

Original poster
Pizzapie82 · 02/06/2024 23:35

@fashionqueen0123 thank you!! No, he isn’t young. We are both 42. I actually thought I was infertile as was never pregnant before. She really is my little miracle.

OP posts:
StrawberryWater · 02/06/2024 23:37

Sod him he's a loser.

Put in a claim for CMS.

Original poster
Pizzapie82 · 02/06/2024 23:38

I haven’t put in any sort of claim with CMS as I actually wonder if I even want any money from someone like that. At the same time though, I know it’s for my DD and it would be put away exclusively for her. I’m just worried he could retaliate on some way as he is clearly not a nice person to put it mildly.

OP posts:
ConfusedConfuse · 02/06/2024 23:39

Sad but it can't be a surprise as he told you he didn't want to be involved? If you were only together a few weeks I can see why he wasn't over the moon lots of women keep children in the hope the man will come around but that doesn't always happen in fact I would say it usually doesn't given how many absent fathers there are

Starlightstarbright3 · 02/06/2024 23:39

You have done your duty …

focus on your little one . His loss.

VJBR · 02/06/2024 23:43

Why would you want somebody like that in your daughter’s life? Concentrate on her and forget him.

Original poster
Pizzapie82 · 02/06/2024 23:43

ConfusedConfuse · 02/06/2024 23:39

Sad but it can't be a surprise as he told you he didn't want to be involved? If you were only together a few weeks I can see why he wasn't over the moon lots of women keep children in the hope the man will come around but that doesn't always happen in fact I would say it usually doesn't given how many absent fathers there are

Edited

very fair point and I can of course see why he wasn’t over the moon. However, we both on that one occasion made the reckless decision not to use condoms. It wasn’t just me. From a maternal perspective I suppose I am just shocked that someone can be so black and white about a child, an actual human being who is now in the world. When I was in early pregnancy it was more abstract but she is here now. As you say though, plenty of absent fathers around so clearly there are men who can be like that.

OP posts:
ConfusedConfuse · 02/06/2024 23:45

Pizzapie82 · 02/06/2024 23:43

very fair point and I can of course see why he wasn’t over the moon. However, we both on that one occasion made the reckless decision not to use condoms. It wasn’t just me. From a maternal perspective I suppose I am just shocked that someone can be so black and white about a child, an actual human being who is now in the world. When I was in early pregnancy it was more abstract but she is here now. As you say though, plenty of absent fathers around so clearly there are men who can be like that.

Show quote history

Tbf if I fell pregnant with someone I had been seeing a matter of weeks I wouldn't go through with it but men don't get that option so all they can do is walk away which isn't always the worse things better that than him staying around abusing you or your child and being resentful treating them bad? Best he just goes

Viviennemary · 02/06/2024 23:45

He is behaving in a horrible and mean way. But you were together a matter of weeks and he has decided to ignore the fact he now has a child. He will be legally obliged to pay maintenance. But not surprised he isn't over the moon about this after such a short relationship and considering your ages.

BigPussyEnergy · 02/06/2024 23:46

Honestly I wouldn’t push for CMS given the situation. You chose to continue with the pregnancy knowing that he didn’t want to be involved. Of course you should both have used condoms but from his perspective he’s been honest from the get go that he didn’t want to be a dad.

Focus on your DD, keep the lines of communication open in case he does want to contact you. Did you put his name on her birth certificate?

I would be concerned that if you push it he will suddenly threaten that he wants to have the baby overnight or will push for 50/50 access - you say he’s not a nice person, don’t expect him to play nicely now. It sounds like you’d be better off cutting him out and making sure your DD has decent male role models in her life as she grows up. It doesn’t sound like he is one.

Whatsmyusername1235 · 02/06/2024 23:51

BigPussyEnergy · 02/06/2024 23:46

Honestly I wouldn’t push for CMS given the situation. You chose to continue with the pregnancy knowing that he didn’t want to be involved. Of course you should both have used condoms but from his perspective he’s been honest from the get go that he didn’t want to be a dad.

Focus on your DD, keep the lines of communication open in case he does want to contact you. Did you put his name on her birth certificate?

I would be concerned that if you push it he will suddenly threaten that he wants to have the baby overnight or will push for 50/50 access - you say he’s not a nice person, don’t expect him to play nicely now. It sounds like you’d be better off cutting him out and making sure your DD has decent male role models in her life as she grows up. It doesn’t sound like he is one.

This 100%

BoundaryGirl3939 · 02/06/2024 23:54

If he did the crime (unprotected sex), he should do the time (support his offspring).
Sex is there for procreation. I would understand his frustration if you tricked him into making you pregnant, but you didnt trick him. He consensually made a child. Now he is ignoring both you, and her. What a dickhead.

Narcs love to block ex's on social media but leave one avenue open for attention. I wonder is he narcissist?

Femme2804 · 02/06/2024 23:57

You know he is not a nice person. Why would you involved with him in the first place?

dont get CMS because he said he doesn’t want to involved. What if he wants a to be involved. You said it yourself he is not nice person. He doesn’t even love you, how he would love his daughter?.

just focus on your daughter. Love her and protect her and dont get involved with his biological father or becareful with this type of loser man next time.

WittyFox · 02/06/2024 23:58

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Ubugly · 03/06/2024 00:06

BigPussyEnergy · 02/06/2024 23:46

Honestly I wouldn’t push for CMS given the situation. You chose to continue with the pregnancy knowing that he didn’t want to be involved. Of course you should both have used condoms but from his perspective he’s been honest from the get go that he didn’t want to be a dad.

Focus on your DD, keep the lines of communication open in case he does want to contact you. Did you put his name on her birth certificate?

I would be concerned that if you push it he will suddenly threaten that he wants to have the baby overnight or will push for 50/50 access - you say he’s not a nice person, don’t expect him to play nicely now. It sounds like you’d be better off cutting him out and making sure your DD has decent male role models in her life as she grows up. It doesn’t sound like he is one.

As they are not married she cannot add his name to the birth certificate unless he is present with her.

I wouldn't bother with him or money tbh. My ex sees our son but doesn't pay and he was planned!

Guavafish1 · 03/06/2024 00:06

I'm sad for you're daughters, however this guy sounds like a serious loser. So actually there will be no real loss.

As others sad, time to concentrate on your DD and forget him. He clearly doesn't want to get involved probably has loads of children with multiple women

Congratulations and Good luck

Sockmate123 · 03/06/2024 00:07

I'd say he's married 😳 terrible behaviour, sorry you are going through this. Congratulations on your beautiful baby x

ControlShiftDelete · 03/06/2024 01:27

Congratulations on your little baby and im sure it must hurt you knowing how precious your baby is to you that you'd expect some sort of love back from her biological father but trust me she is lucky to have you. You are her world 🩷

Rania78 · 03/06/2024 07:00

OP, first of all congratulations on the birth of your little one. All the best and hope she has everything she wants in her life.

As for him, give him so mme time as he must be shocked. Imagine, you have just started seeing someone, at 42, and they fall pregnant almost immediately. You do not know them, you didn’t have the time to develop a connection and feelings for them and suddenly, without you choosing this, there is a LO on the way. Thing is he told you he didn’t want this. He doesn’t get the choice, you do though but you also need to respect his choice not wanting to be a father. Personally, I wouldn’t force someone to have a child and If I wanted to keep the baby I would very much do it in my own without complaining about the father and why he doesn’t want to be in his DD life. He didn’t choose this life long commitment, he was very clear he didn’t want this. And yes, at 42 it’s rare to fall pregnant from one time without condom.
Give him some time to process. He is not necessarily a bad person. He is being forced to accept a life long commitment he didn’t choose with someone he doesn’t know.

BananaLambo · 03/06/2024 08:11

I bet he’s married too, or at least in a serious relationship. Hes probably terrified you’ll ‘out’ him to his nearest and dearest. In your shoes I’d focus my time and energy on the one who deserves it - your little girl. Forget the sperm donor. He doesn’t sound like the kind of person you want around your baby anyway.

SpringerFall · 03/06/2024 08:12

He told you he did not want to be involved, should you have not sorted this before you got pregnant with him?

Myblindsaredown · 03/06/2024 08:16

Very difficult situation, as you barely knew each other. He made a stupid mistake in having sex without a condom, the odds of you falling pregnant at 42 with one time is so low, but it happened.

howver there is a child now, so he should step up. He is saying he thinks you tricked him, does he think they baby isn’t his?

kiwiane · 03/06/2024 08:23

I would put in a claim for child maintenance, this is for your daughter - congratulations!

EggshellSpacesuit · 03/06/2024 08:27

lots of women keep children in the hope the man will come around

Seriously?!?

I’ve never been in that situation but I should think that lots of women keep children because they want them, or at least don’t want to terminate.

Not as some kind of leverage to “bag” a man (those rare and elusive creatures).

Good grief