He blocked and ghosted me 😭😭😭

[Pizzapie82]

I haven’t seen my little girl’s dad since I was 13 weeks pregnant. He wasn’t happy I was pregnant and said that he wanted me to have an abortion. He said that if I didn’t he would never be able to trust me and wouldn’t see me or the child. He blamed me for getting pregnant and accused me of tricking him. Erm, no-it happened the one time we had sex without condoms. Think he needed to take a biology lesson.

Anyway, I didn’t contact him since then but noticed about a month before I have birth that he had blocked me on Facebook and messenger. I thought this was so unnecessary considering I hadn’t contacted him even once since I had last seen him so not like I was hounding him or anything.

My LG is now 7 weeks old and I thought that for her sake I would message him on WhatsApp as noticed he was still available on there. I thought that he might have decided not to block me on there just in case. I sent a very civil message letting him know I had given birth to a beautiful baby girl. I said that I would leave it up to him if he wanted to be involved or not. I didn’t receive a reply and his profile picture disappeared. The bastard has blocked me without so much as the courtesy of a response. I can’t believe someone can be like that. We were only together a matter of weeks when I got pregnant and I certainly wasn’t expecting any sort of ongoing romantic relationship and understood why he wasn’t happy. However, he gave me no indication that he was the type of person to ghost someone. I’m just gutted for my LG who clearly will have no chance of having a relationship with her father. 😓😭😭

How can someone do that sort of thing and then just get on with their day without a second thought? I just don’t understand it.

I can't understand how so many women are prepared to let men have zero consequences for their actions. He's a father and should help provide for his child.

His decision was having unprotected sex, if a man doesn't want to become a father he must use a condom every time. It's hardly a difficult concept.

20k a year for university - loans are based on parental income so many get minimal loan and parents have to find the rest. Kids cost a lot of money. Yes he might not pay, but a friend of mine is getting weekly maintenance for a 28yr old, CMS finally caught up with him and he’s got to pay my friend what is owed

He did not want a child. You decided to go ahead which is fair enough but if you only knew him a few weeks? He obviously thought you tricked him. I would never behaved like him but honestly you barely knew him. What do you expect? Any contraception method can fail so it is abortion or having the baby.

Or not have sex at all. Comdom or any contraception is not 💯 percent secured.

But he had a choice too.
Just like she could have used a coil, he could have used a condom. He could have had the snip.
(and let’s not forget that the ‘choice’ women have to use the pill/hormonal contraception are coming with side effects considered unacceptable for men. Headache, weight gain, depression etc etc. those are the side effects that stopped the trials for the male contraceptive….. ofc there are no side effects with a condom… let alone daily ones)

The fact she can choose to have an abortion doesn’t mean she has more choices. They are simply different.

As far as I’m concerned, he had as many opportunities to avoid a child than she had.
No reasons to somehow put more blame on her. Or say she has more choices.

You mean he was daft enough to trust someone he hardly knew on something that would have a life time consequence on him??

But he is the victim?

lol. Come on. He is an adult. He had choices.
Instead he put 5 seconds of pleasure ahead of rational decision.
Surely a grown man has more control over himself than that!

No, @DullFanFiction , the world is really hard for men and women are all out to get them.

Men should not have to be responsible for their own fertility. That's women's job!

You must be a man. You clearly think you are making some informed argument. Ultimately, it's the woman's body, it's her choice. The law gives her that choice, as it also does the right to claim financial support. Men know this, and if they want to take the risk, then the onus is on them. Whether it is a one night stand or a relationship, them's the breaks.

You are confused I don't care about the financial side of things and have never commented on that please show me where I have? She can claim maintenance I don't see anything wrong with her claiming or not? Just cant force him to parent, I've never commented on whether she should claim maintenance or not as that's a separate issue. This thread is about him not wanting to be part of the child's life. Claim I'm a man all you want because I don't agree with it being beneficial to force a man to be part of a child's life.

Financial support is a part of being a parent. You can't force a mother to parent either, so in that case your comments have no point at all.

and no one forced the op to have the child she chose to knowing he wasn't going to be involved! I don't care about maintenance claim don't claim 🤷‍♀️

And the difference is she can force him to pay maintenance but she certainly can't force him to be involved (other than financially)

Why is the fact that a woman chose such a problem to you? The man knew she has the right to choose, so what? She makes her choice and that's it. Whether or not you think support is part of parenting is irrelevant. And in anycase, the OP is merely asking how asking an almost rhetorical question as to how any parent can turn off their feelings towards their child. You on the other hand seem to question the OP's right to even wonder why, simply because she chose to continue the pregnancy. Your user name suits you. I'll leave you to it.

I do not know the details or in and outs but in the end who is bearing the brunt? Of course he is not a victim he is a fool. I will not have sex with a woman who tells me she is infertile. There are so many stories on this is laughable. I have friends who are obsessed about having babies and would do this. ( according to them) They feel they can do it by themselves and when the baby arrives the penny drops. They brought a baby and a father may be needed it. Mmmm

Yeah because that's how you deal with consequences.

If the woman didn't bother taking a single step of precaution how is it on the man after that point to be on the hook for CM for the rest of their lives.

Its like punishing the man for a single act despite the woman having multiple opportunities to act and failing to do so.

Im sorry but condoms split so let's not say there's no side effects.

Indeed if the girl didnt want to get preggers she would have made a concious decision to put something in the line between her and him.

Not just him but her too... She felt that it was necessary enough to feel him without a condom otherwise she would have totally pushed for it unless we are saying this wasn't consensual sex? If it was then she is just as culpable and I hate this man bashing like he should be forced to pay when she is the one that went against his wishes.

Ironically on this response the woman herself should know her cycle and know that she would likely be between both of them so I mean blaming a man who would almost always have sperm with a woman who knows shes likely ovulating and takes no precautions could be seen as a form of entrapment.

Did she insist on a condom?

They both failed to take precautions. He wasn’t tricked into this. He’s responsible for using contraception if he doesn’t want a baby. Or face the consequences

Sex is for fun too. He did not consent to a child, he asked for an abortion. It was a stupid decision not to use a condom but I don’t think you can punish someone for that for 18 years.

Just as well your view point don't stand up in court. Why didn't she use contraception after the act?

This is my point glad im not feeling insane. It was absolutely stupid but he made is view clear almost immediately afterwards when something could be done.

If she wanted the child despite having an option to terminate and he did not and was honest about this early enough its completely unreasonable to condemn the dude to paying for a child he didn't want.

Indeed I am a child of a broken home and I am 100% happier without my dad being in my life and I can only imagine how much hell it would be if my mum asked for maintenance having a man thinking he can claim his child because hes paying for it.

“Ironically” yourself. You’re saying that women should be aware that men are always fertile and should protect themselves accordingly, in other words men shouldn’t have to think about it because everyone knows they can get a woman pregnant at any time.

Men need to take responsibility for their own fertility. I can’t imagine going through life expecting everyone else to have everything under control and then playing the helpless victim when it turned out that they, too, were not on top of things 🤷‍♀️

Agree with this. He should have used a condom but she too could have used contraception and even after there was plenty of time to get the morning after pill.
she wanted to keep the baby which is fair enough but you can’t be shocked that he wants no involvement when he said that from the very beginning. If I was in this position I wouldn’t push for cms .

Yes they were both unwise IMO and this is the outcome. A happy outcome for OP perhaps but not so much for the man as he didn’t want the baby . But your feelings don’t determine whether you are responsible for your biological children. You are always responsible, so you need to pay whether you’re happy about it or not.

And aside from that, I’m sick of taxpayers money going to support children where the father has washed his hands off them.