Handhold because DH hates my birthday present (trip to cornwall)

[Miserableinpenzance]

Dh is a difficult person to buy presents for which is why I am currently sitting in a sleeper train to penzance in tears. He said its the worst present ever for a light sleeper like him and he also threw a massive strope last night cos he said the concept of sleeper train was filthy cos he couldn't shower in the train (first class lounge paddington had showers which he did eventually use)

It was his birthday present as he loves travel so i thought would be a good present (He books us holidays on a monthly basis). It turns out he hates sleeper trains (he had only been once before but that was during covid and on the Caledonian which was being quite badly run at the time so I thought it was a one off that he didn't like it). We live in London and Cornwall takes many hours (and we usually don't take leave for our holidays which are usually weekend breaks where we leave on friday and come back on sunday) plus the Premier inn next to penzance Station was totally booked out so sleeper train made sense.

We always had many weekend breaks (once a month) rather than big holidays (with the exception of visiting family)because there was once a bad experience where dh was switching job and we had to cancel flights and hotels (no refund on the flights) because they wanted him to start early. So if either of us anticipates leaving a job then we book weekend breaks that don't need any leave.

I feel really underappreciated cos he made out like this whole holiday is for my benefit rather than his. I don't think that is true at all, the sleeper train was the way of getting there that seemed to make time and money sense at that time (and I wanted to keep costs low as we are going away quite a bit and i thought he would appreciate the prudence) and also it was quite logistically hard to book due to the nightmare gwr website. I wanted to book something he usually wouldn't book so he could see something he wouldn't actually see.

We were actually ttc but honestly he has made me cry so much in the last 24 hours over his 'gift' that I am not sure I want it

Ttc

i had many miscarriages, an etopic..

pregnancy vitamins and a month of this gadget…

https://uk.clearblue.com/ovulation-tests/advanced-fertility-monitor

9 months later had a healthy baby!!!

Hi op can i ask how did you book the sleeper train im interested in booking myself but had no clue about the sleeper train.

Maybe this is it. Not everyone likes unexpected surprises! Best to consult with him in future?

What a baby he is!
I wouldn't have another one with him.

He's a nasty dick Pity he wasn't happy with the last present he's ever getting !

Good lord! You're still with him? Yuk!

Socks next year, definitely. Or maybe toe nail clippers.

Why are you two so disrespectful to each other?

You go away on monthly "weekends away" - so there must be something you enjoy together on these weekends???

So you're not enjoying "this" weekend.

So change your plans. Penzance to London does not require a sleeper train. Return by a day train.

Work out what you both want from this trip. Shrug your shoulders at the disappointment. You've learned something valuable about what is a key "happiness" factor on a weekend away for your dh. He needs access to a hot shower at all times.

He's learned something valuable. When you put in a lot of effort into making him happy - you need recognition for the work you've put in, and he needs to suck it up, if the gift is uncomfortable.

But ultimately you both need to discuss it like grown ups - and then make the best of a bad holiday.

And right now, discuss what his and your ideal weekends away would consist of.

I think you're both falling into the modern day trap of feeling "offended" and "vicitms" instead of putting things into context. You have a weekend away. It's not ideal. You can learn a lot from it for the next weekend. And you both generally like spending time together.

But surely you would be happy BECAUSE it was a present.

The lesson is get a takeaway delivered. LIke a decent husband gets, rather than a special magical tour that you seem to get for being a spoiled child.

Seriously, OP. He’s being rude and ungrateful when you tried to do something nice for him. As @Teq says, think how he’d behave under the stress of dealing with babies and children. I wouldn’t want a child with someone like that.

He honestly sounds a dick. Who has a strop about a sleeper train and no shower unless it's for a few nights. He also seems very controlling regarding no holidays unless at weekends - that ridiculous. Just book it but get flexible tickets and hotels you can cancel if it's that much of a problem. Or book very near the time so you won't change your minds.

I would be really assessing his behaviour and whether he's compatible with you if that is how he acts. Having a child is pretty hard work, so a child and a man-child would be a nightmare for you.

He’s a tit

Do the same back to him, when he books the next holiday or gets you a gift. Do nothing but complain about it, and say it's the worst ever, see how much he enjoys it!

You sound comparatively financially secure and astute.
On a different aspect of the thread, have you invested sone if your wealth in fertility investigations/treatment?

No actually don't, bc HE doesn't want to go on a sleeper train, to sunny places, on a week's holiday. Yes I know some of those things suit you right now, but what if you wanted a week in a sunny hotel in Spain while trying to relax? Would he do that because it was what you wanted?

As a man, I disagree with the idea that there are loads of single, generous kind women just desperate for a sub-mediocre man to look after.
But it does happen and this thread illustrates it.

You book through the GWR website https://www.gwr.com/tickets/#/3087/3526/2024-07-10/D19:00/2024-07-12/D18:00/1/0/0/1/1/N/N/N
You select tickets with 'cabin option' on the sleeper train (23.45 out of London and 21.45 out of Penzance) and then it gives you the option to book a berth/s.
You will need to play around with the days and dates to find cheaper options, avoid Mondays and Fridays as these tend to be the most expensive, and avoid peak holiday times if you can.

Sign him up for Race Across The World

He'd love it

🤣🤣