Would you say my MIL is treating me like this because she doesn’t like me?

[Simplefoke]

I’ve just been away for the weekend with my partner, daughter, his parents and his brother and gf and 2 kids. I was apprehensive because I’m pretty sure his parents don’t like me.

Ive felt this because they don’t greet me if we go over, they have never offered me a drink or asked how I am or started a single conversation with me. When I talk I get one word answers. They were flat when we told them about the baby. They’ve offered no support when she came. They never asked how I was during the pregnancy. Offered no support when he moved in to time. They bought her a box of wet wipes for her first birthday and that was it. Everything we say like we buying some thing or going somewhere it’s met with you don’t need that or you don’t need to go there. They treat the other son’s family completely the opposite. When they go over for example she has bought them their favourite drinks. It can’t be me that just feeling that this isn’t right??

The weekend away was the worst experience of my life. The mum offered everyone a drink then got to me and put the drinks down. They don’t talk to me. Spent the entire time with the other son’s family. Me and my partner and DD couldn’t just stand around with them as we have a younger kid who needs different entertainment (we were at a theme park type place). Instead of splitting their time to spend some with us and with the toddler they spent it with the others 100%. I’ve never been away with them all and never been to this place before. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable and unwelcome in my life. I just left them to it and spent the time alone with my dd. Didn’t end up eating with them. Was just alone, it was so awful. They make constant digs and comments about my upbringing and my life before my partner. They have said before that my partner doesn’t know my situation because he came from a good family etc. I was in an abusive relationship previously for 12 years but I got out. They make constant comments like it was my fault and I’m just trouble basically.

What would you do in this situation??? I’m pretty sure I’m not just being awkward and making it up. I can just feel the dislike from them. Should I just cut all contact?

Very similar here op. Dh is on the spectrum.. His dm didn't want anything to do with us when our dc was born. Up until then she was quite vocal about being seen as dgm to my dc that I had already . When dh had it spelled out he was sad.. Didn't show the anger and fury I was feeling!! Been over 9 years since we have heard from ils. Yet she told her mates we had moved away and taken dc out of her life.. We moved 40 mins away. Was previously 3 mins by car and she came round once in a year... ASD or whatever aside some people are just cunts.
And surely your dc doesn't need to be around cunts?

Thanks @Beautifulbythebay it is hard especially when people are ND. I understand some of the issues are not intentional but none the less they hurt. I’m always someone who try’s to see the best in people and get shocked when people are just acting plain nasty. I also understand trauma. I’m very aware my MiL lost her mum young and wondered if she had abandonment issues. I’ve tried to show her I’m not taking him away but it hast done anything. So nothing much more I can do.

Accepting nothing more you can do is great. Remember you are the nice person here.. Your dc only need nice people around them.
Did feel a tiny bit smug when dp told her she wasn't invited to our wedding. Hadn't seen her for 6 months and honestly felt she wasn't our family.. His df told her about his choice of outfit.. She rang the hire shop and tried to change it... No fucking way woman! Didn't trust her to behave on the day so she wasn't coming.. Was the final nail..

@Beautifulbythebay it isn’t like mine is overtly nasty or controlling she just treats me like I don’t exist, which feels awful. We are all worth being seen and loved. She is wrong to project onto me her hurt and I’ve been kind of been holding onto it because I’m too nice and I’m vulnerable. I’ve never had a family really and I so badly wanted one I’ve ignore all the red flags. I did this in my last marriage also. But at least I recognise it now even though it’s painful.

Mine snarled when she found out I was pregnant that his ex wanted his dc! Obviously out of his earshot... Went downhill after I got pregnant.

@Beautifulbythebay mine didn’t really acknowledge it at all, she was blank and vacant. I don’t think she even stopped what she was doing and turn around to look at us. She never asked how I was or how the bump was when we visited. There was just nothing. I’d had a miscarriage a few months before and she said it was for the best. She must have been relieved then the second bombshell come and she was shell shocked.