My husband is taking the p**s!!

[rosetta32]

I need to rant because I have nowhere else to rant. But I'm getting so frustrated with my husband.

We have a newborn baby and a 20 month old, so it's all very chaotic in the house, very busy, little sleep etc.

I am on maternity leave so at home with the kids in the week, which is lovely but also very tiring. When it comes to the weekend, it's nice to get a bit of a break and share responsibilities but this does not seem to be the case. He keeps booking golf days at the weekend (6-8 hours), football trips.

Today, he said he was nipping to see his friend and the gym at 10am. It's 7pm and he's not home, decided to enjoy the weather and grab drinks. I'm just furious, tired and pretty upset. Has he checked out do we think :(?

Would there be any reason to suspect he’s having an affair?

Do you know where he is staying?

Sorry OP. Sounds like an affair 😞

What an absolute shit he is. I'm so sorry. However this pans out, you will be ok, honestly. Do you have any friends nearby who could come and give you a hug and keep you company tonight?

I'm fucking furious on your behalf!

I do 100% sympathise and believe you, just cannot believe him.

Does he have family nearby? Call his parents to help you with the kids.

Don’t accept this. I certainly wouldn’t be sitting around waiting for him. How far are family or friends? I’d be off now or go first thing in the morning with no note. Do a bit of packing whilst kids are asleep. I couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him.

This is the hardest time of all as I had children a similar age and was exhausted. Having a second child close together really changes the dynamic. But the only person he seems to be thinking about is himself.

I was actually glad to get a bit of respite going back jobshare. Work was much easier!!

I just read this out to my husband and he said ‘he’s taking the piss!’ and I said funny you should say that… it’s the thread title.

Go and be with people who can at least help with the older child.

I'm so sorry you're having to put up with this, I don't normally jump straight in with a criticism, but yes he's taking the piss.
I hate to say it and really hope I'm completely wrong, but gym then drinks and staying over somewhere sounds very like there is another woman in the picture.

Put your foot down when he crawls in and don't take any excuses.
Sending a hug.

What was he like 20 months ago with baby number one?
Is this new or just how it has always been?
Has he suddenly taken up golf or was like this already?
Can you afford help ? If he can afford golf he can pay cleaners housekeeping home help?
But yeh leave him with the babies next weekend!

And tell him that when you divorce he will be sole charge every other week...

I often see this sort of thing on MN but you can’t force someone to be a parent . If he doesn’t want to parent his DC at the moment the chances of him stepping up if they split aren’t high .

Sorry, it seems like an affair.

So sorry, he's with another woman.

I used to do an activity on a Saturday morning. I stopped when my eldest son was born because i didn't think it was fair to leave my wife alone after I'd been out of the house at work all week.

Tell your husband that his behaviour is unreasonable. He must know he's acting like a prick. See how he responds and take things from there.

_

I commented before reading the whole thread.

Maybe there's an innocentish explanation - e.g. he got pissed, took loads of drugs and the day went completely sideways.

Even if it's something like that, it's completely unacceptable behaviour when your wife's at home with a newborn.

I think you'll need to wait until the morning to get the full picture of what's gone on.

If you can't leave him and you can't talk to him because he doesn't listen then take action

Don't call him anymore tonight.

Tomorrow get up with the kids and just go out. Go out all day. Do not leave a note, do not text him, do not engage with him. Have a lovely day with your kids. Get some lunch, go swimming do whatever you want.

Have dinner with the kids before you come home. When you do come home do not offer to cook for him. If he asks where you have been just say " been having a wonderful day with my children thanks' . Do not ask him how his day has been.

Tell him your off for a shower and HE can sort the children and don't forget he needs to do XYZ in the house. If he does it don't thank him if he doesn't do it just say " thanks for doing XYZ 🙄.

Then when your ready for bed just go up to bed don't even tell him your going to bed.

Basically the aim is to prove to him not only do you not need him but your not interested in his life just like he's checked out of yours. The way he responds to all this will tell you clearly if he's worth fighting for or not

This poster is also besties with the royals/is Kate’s best friend and I think thinks it’s the 1950’s

I'm so sorry.

You need to decide what you want. There are two options, to carry on like this or to divorce.
There is no other choice, because to "get him to change" is not in your power to make happen.

There is no need to discuss with him or involve him in your decision.
This is YOUR decision. Make it alone.

Don't be swayed by fear of not coping. You will cope. Standards may drop, but you will cope.

But you don't have to decide right away. You may want to leave it a few days or weeks or months, for practical or financial reasons.

Just know that this is YOUR choice to make, and act in your own good time.

Oh lovely, do you have a friend you can call? Even someone you’re not that close to. Even if your family aren’t close, can you call them and tell them he’s left you? It’s his shame to hide not yours. If I was hours away then I’d still come and spend the night with you or stay up all night on the phone. He’s an arsehole

He has just video called me, very drunk, he is with his friends, I don't think he would have an affair. But I could be wrong.

Just so out of character. He does not drink often and would usually prefer to come home to his family then stay out all night. He says he just wants to let his hair down and catch up with friends (which he sees every week!)

Our relationship has been very strong for years. No issues after our first child, he has always been helpful. This all started during pregnancy and then since having our baby boy, he's just been so distant from us all.

I feel sad for the children too. I know they are too young to understand, but I feel like he just is not interesting in playing with them anymore. He barely looks at our youngest, only to give him a quick nappy change then give him back to me.

I hope you tore him a new one 🤬
My money’s on him staying out to watch the boxing.
Take the time to get your speech ready for when he comes home.
What a selfish prick- you and your kids deserve so much better than this 💐

Tell him to come home and pack his stuff and leave.

What an awful man.

He is absolutely taking the piss. You and your children deserve to be his priority, not an option. I think you need to have a serious chat with him
tomorrow about what he thinks his behaviour will lead to, and spell out it’ll be the end of your relationship, him being a part time dad with even less opportunities for bloody golf etc.

F me. I thought what is it with F golf, but then
I read the last OP.
Not coming home?
Fine by me!
What is it with some men? 🤢