Fiancé bought a STI kit after stag do

[Soconfused2]

I saw an email over my fiances shoulder from an online pharmacy for an sti kit, a week after he got back from his stag do. I never ever thought I’d be the type of woman who wouldn’t say anything / confront him but we are less than 2 weeks out from our wedding and I don’t know how to approach the subject. One minute I’m convincing myself he purchased it for someone else and the next I’m beside myself not knowing what to do / how I’m supposed to marry him. How should I bring it up?! What do I say?!

Absolutely this!!! 100%!

Fingers crossed she's busy cancelling the wedding, informing guests, etc.

I confess I just had an impractical fantasy of her going to the wedding, letting it get to the "do you take this man" stage and then saying NO with a loud and clear announcement as to why ...

You are worth more than this and you don't want to catch aids/herpes/warts/chlamydia/HIV. Call it off. Take time to recover.

You already have what probably feels like an overwhelming number of replies OP, but I just wanted to chime in with some personal experience.

No amount of embarrassment, shame, inconvenience, financial loss at the last minute cancellation of a wedding will ever be as awful as life married to the wrong person. The longer you leave it the worse it will be.

If you’re worried about the cost of the wedding and all that jazz, consider that fee a lucky break. I would NOT be moving forward with marriage plans if my partner did this. Sorry, but no bloody way.

This is a tricky one because if I’d been playing around I’d definitely not get an STI kit sent to the house. There is a possibility it’s for one of his mates. I’d just come straight out with it. You’ll know if he’s lying or not. I know everyone disagrees on this post but I can’t believe anyone would be stupid enough to get a kit sent to the house and then be reading an email with you stood behind him. You must have been very close to see the contents of the email.

This is a tricky one because if I’d been playing around I’d definitely not get an STI kit sent to the house

They send them in a plain white envelope/packet. They arent marked in big letters STI TEST. Unless OP regularly opens his post thats addressed to him she wouldnt know what it was by the outside packaging. He could say it was anything he had ordered online

Surely any costs incurred by cancelling would his to pay? In full and without discussion or complaint.

I’m hoping a legal person will come on an confirm that OP could sue for costs since he’s the one that is at fault! Sadly, I think she and her fam will need to bear the cost - just hoping they are renting their home and not joint owners.

Half of couples stay together after cheating only you know if you want to be them or not

Ps if wedding is all paid up you can still have a party and dinner and dance with YOUR close friends and family

Yes this

As if the OP will feel like celebrating and facing friends and relatives.

Poor OP. I hope she's spoken to loved ones by now and getting the support she needs.

OP if you're still reading this, hope you're ok.

I know someone who dealt with this many years ago, but it was the woman having the affair. The wedding was called off, things that could be cancelled were cancelled and money refunded but they were left with a load of food and wine and a band.

They had a bit boozey get together for all the grooms family and friends on what would have been the wedding day. The groom went on the non refundable honeymoon with a friend.

You can and will get through this.

Wonder if this was real as the OP hasn't been back.

???? Of course it was real. The poor OP is probably dealing with the fallout, and does not owe us an update.

Agreed. I'm assuming from her posts that writing it down here and seeing it from others' points of view has galvanised her into the action she doesn't want to take but really knows she has to for her ultimate happiness. I hope she's got a good friend/sister to go on her honeymoon with.

Find a back bone and confront the cheating toad. You can't seriously be going ahead with marrying him?

OP i logged in to reply to this.. your post triggered me! Don't be me.. I am you 10 years down the line. Except I had a baby before he got the STI, he told me after he was tested. And claimed it was from before we got together (small small possibility maybe.. who knows) anyway he denied sleeping with anyone else and we had our wedding booked. I stupidly went through with wedding and didn't have the balls to confide in anyone about it. I don't think he was unfaithful throughout our marraige nothing raised suspicions anyway, but what I will tell you is I never forgave or forgot because I don't believe I got the truth at that time. It really affected me I didn't ever have unprotected sex with him again and it caused huge resentment throughout the years. That and him being a shit in other ways has led to us separating almost 2 years ago, we are waiting to sell out house and arrange shared custody. And while I am positive about the future if I could go back I would have taken my baby and left. I denied myself the chance to meet a good man who cared about me, instead I am in limbo trying to sort all this mess out. I ignored the red flags, I ignored my gut feeling and I paid for it. Don't be me, you deserve better, you will never have a day's peace if you go through with it. Best wishes to you whatever you decide

What a nasty way to speak to someone who is hurting. Bloody keyboard warrior.

It does always make you wonder though…

please have a conversation with him. If, as seems likely, he has cheated, then cancel the Wedding.

I live in a traditional stag do area. Many times that I've gone on nights out, I bump into a stag do.

They are usually loud and they go round talking to every woman in the bar. Some of it is innocent- we are on a stag do, we are having fun. However I've seen a lot of crap behaviour.

I always try and avoid them because the men on stag dos are so annoying.

I don't think I'd trust any man on a stag do. They see it as a great time for fun. That includes women.

The last stag do I had the misfortune of bumping into went like this. One of the man came over to me and said "yayyy we are on a stag do". And he pointed out the groom. I went back to looking at my drink.

The groom then came over and I said to him politely"oh are you the one getting married, congratulations".

He said to me " well the wedding is pencilled in, I'm keeping my options open".

Then I saw him later kissing a woman at the bar.

I don't think stag parties are ever a good idea!

Well maybe because whoever gets the post in our house opens it, I assumed most people did the same.

You open the letters and packages that are addressed to other members of your family???