Page 8 | DH just came into living room asking for sex...

thea11 · 2024-05-15T19:31:26+00:00

He does this sometimes, typing it out is going to make me feel sick. He'll go and have a shower then come in the living room with a hard on and ask for sex. If I'm in a good mood I will (reluctantly) do it, but today, I've had a shit day, I'm knackered from work, I'm hot and sweaty folding up washing and still wearing my work clothes. He swanned in late from work, I made his dinner in between putting both kids to bed (aged 4 and 9 months), and he comes home, eats his dinner knowing I'm pissed off from a hard day, then has the audacity to ask me to have sex with him!! WTAF!? - does anyone else's husband do this?

category12 · 16/05/2024 15:18

You can turn anything fun into a chore for another person with consistent lack of consideration and by making it an extra pressure. If you drain the fun out, it's not going to be high on the to do list.

horseyhorsey17 · 16/05/2024 15:19

TheBOAT · 16/05/2024 11:19

When I read the OP I thought it must be a parody. Then I read (most of) the replies and realised I'm in a strange universe.

It's 8.30, the kids are in bed and supper is over. What better way to finish the day than loving coitus?

OP, with that attitude you may as well write the draft of your next post 'Help! My DH cheated on me.'

"Loving coitus". Are you Sheldon off The Big Bang Theory?

cohwupshun · 16/05/2024 15:24

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 14:47

Exactly this

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I'd prefer to be asked, rather than guessing what was wanted! And the same the other way round.

I'd find it far more annoying to be subjected to overtures when I was not in the mood!

I think I'd be far more hacked off about him just walking in and having a shower, no chatting, no checking in. And I am guessing that if OP's partner had done that, he'd be more likely to pick up that OP was definitely not on for sex, he could have confirmed that before jumping in the shower and doing the dance of the seven veils.

I think just going along with it isn't a good idea, OP. It would be better to talk about everything, and agreeing how you both would like things to be in future.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 16/05/2024 15:27

Eww it is gross. And to be honest you have taught him it is ok by going along with it, so he thinks this is acceptable foreplay. Serious conversation needed I think.

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:30

cohwupshun · 16/05/2024 15:24

I'd prefer to be asked, rather than guessing what was wanted! And the same the other way round.

I'd find it far more annoying to be subjected to overtures when I was not in the mood!

I think I'd be far more hacked off about him just walking in and having a shower, no chatting, no checking in. And I am guessing that if OP's partner had done that, he'd be more likely to pick up that OP was definitely not on for sex, he could have confirmed that before jumping in the shower and doing the dance of the seven veils.

I think just going along with it isn't a good idea, OP. It would be better to talk about everything, and agreeing how you both would like things to be in future.

Edited

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There definitely is a better way of being asked.
They just don't sound compatible as she clearly didn't like it and maybe some women might like that approach . But I wouldn't of liked it lol

Mothership4two · 16/05/2024 15:32

He made me a cup of tea this morning, made a point of kissing me before he left for work, I think he's sorry, but I'd rather he actually said "sorry I totally understand it came across really inconsiderate, I'm sorry, I love you" that's what I'm looking for, will I get it? I doubt it..

The most important thing is that he changes his behaviour and sticks to it.

I'm going to be in the minority, but I can't see the problem with him asking if you want to DTD as long as he words it appropriately and there is no expectations - obviously I realise that OP's DH timing was out and, if this is a regular thing every time she's had a busy day, then it was quite right to have a discussion about it.

OH gives out 'tells' so I have an inkling what's "up" (no pun intended) and he will ask if I'm in the mood too (tactfully) and sensitive to my mood and what's going on . If I'm not that's the end of it. Even if I have had the most refreshing and glorious day of my life, I'm not going to be pressured into doing something I don't want to and I don't think OH would want me to or to have sex under those circumstances.

Disturbia81 · 16/05/2024 15:33

TheBOAT · 16/05/2024 11:19

When I read the OP I thought it must be a parody. Then I read (most of) the replies and realised I'm in a strange universe.

It's 8.30, the kids are in bed and supper is over. What better way to finish the day than loving coitus?

OP, with that attitude you may as well write the draft of your next post 'Help! My DH cheated on me.'

Bloke?

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:37

I think a man asking if you're in the mood tonight and coming into the room todger first is completely different tho lol

category12 · 16/05/2024 15:39

Mothership4two · 16/05/2024 15:32

He made me a cup of tea this morning, made a point of kissing me before he left for work, I think he's sorry, but I'd rather he actually said "sorry I totally understand it came across really inconsiderate, I'm sorry, I love you" that's what I'm looking for, will I get it? I doubt it..

The most important thing is that he changes his behaviour and sticks to it.

I'm going to be in the minority, but I can't see the problem with him asking if you want to DTD as long as he words it appropriately and there is no expectations - obviously I realise that OP's DH timing was out and, if this is a regular thing every time she's had a busy day, then it was quite right to have a discussion about it.

OH gives out 'tells' so I have an inkling what's "up" (no pun intended) and he will ask if I'm in the mood too (tactfully) and sensitive to my mood and what's going on . If I'm not that's the end of it. Even if I have had the most refreshing and glorious day of my life, I'm not going to be pressured into doing something I don't want to and I don't think OH would want me to or to have sex under those circumstances.

Edited

I don't think you're in the minority, of course it's OK to try to initiate sex - I think most people are just saying "read the room first!"

If your partner is frazzled and hasn't had chance to sit down since coming in from work, it's generally more politic to muck in and try to make their life a bit easier than waggle your genitals at them. 😂

cohwupshun · 16/05/2024 15:39

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:30

There definitely is a better way of being asked.
They just don't sound compatible as she clearly didn't like it and maybe some women might like that approach . But I wouldn't of liked it lol

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Not really - if the relationship was otherwise good, it would make me (personally) laugh and I'd say yes or no depending, I don't think that there is a right or wrong about this generally but definitely there would be a better way for the OP to be asked from the sound of it, is the point. I don't think that it means they are incompatible, it just means she should be explaining how she feels to her DH. And he would hopefully care how she feels and vice versa and it would all end up just as it should!

Toxicinlawz · 16/05/2024 15:42

Op have you told him this? Tell him what you wrote to us. I'm not defending his behaviour and he shouldn't have to be taught how to behave , he's a grown man but I'm just thinking maybes he's just really oblivious and you need to highlight this to him, he needs to wake up and see his behaviour and say the words sorry. Also you can tell him it's not your place to constantly keep reminding him to be considerate and this is the one time you're reminding him then it's up to him. I don't want to bash the man , it does sound like he has his good sides too but also not good to call you a moody prick. Unless that's how the ppl speak these days. I think there's a chance he will change. Good luck op.

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:43

cohwupshun · 16/05/2024 15:39

Not really - if the relationship was otherwise good, it would make me (personally) laugh and I'd say yes or no depending, I don't think that there is a right or wrong about this generally but definitely there would be a better way for the OP to be asked from the sound of it, is the point. I don't think that it means they are incompatible, it just means she should be explaining how she feels to her DH. And he would hopefully care how she feels and vice versa and it would all end up just as it should!

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Thing is tho it's how she felt about it not me or you. It would make me laugh too but depending on my mood lol

But she does need to tell him how it makes her feel. For me it doesn't sound like they are compatible as they do seem to look at sex very differently and don't talk to each other. Also that she seems to do everything at home. But we can all have our own opinion on it that's what mum's met is all about.

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:44

Net even lol

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:47

Toxicinlawz · 16/05/2024 15:42

Op have you told him this? Tell him what you wrote to us. I'm not defending his behaviour and he shouldn't have to be taught how to behave , he's a grown man but I'm just thinking maybes he's just really oblivious and you need to highlight this to him, he needs to wake up and see his behaviour and say the words sorry. Also you can tell him it's not your place to constantly keep reminding him to be considerate and this is the one time you're reminding him then it's up to him. I don't want to bash the man , it does sound like he has his good sides too but also not good to call you a moody prick. Unless that's how the ppl speak these days. I think there's a chance he will change. Good luck op.

I agree it's not going to get her more in the mood if he calls her a prick lol

Does he do this alot?

Mothership4two · 16/05/2024 15:52

@TheBOAT

When I read the OP I thought it must be a parody. Then I read (most of) the replies and realised I'm in a strange universe.

It's 8.30, the kids are in bed and supper is over. What better way to finish the day than loving coitus?

Because she doesn't want to? Because she's had a 'hard day' and probably just wants to relax? Because she's p*ssed off with how he has approached it/her? I'm not sure what universe you live in TBH.

If he ends up cheating on her because he can't have sex on tap and expects her to 'service' him when she doesn't want to (abusive behaviour) - then he is a really really sh*t husband and horrible man.

Mothership4two · 16/05/2024 15:56

@category12 if OH waggled his genitals at me it would make me laugh and I would probably then be more likely to be up for it! 😂

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 15:58

If your partner isn't pulling their weight at home it will affect the relationship tho without even sex in the mix...

You have to voice how you feel and this is what happens. Hopefully it'll change and that in itself will bring you closer.

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 16:00

Doesn't anyone else look at male genitals and just think of capt caveman or is it just me lol

category12 · 16/05/2024 16:05

Mothership4two · 16/05/2024 15:56

@category12 if OH waggled his genitals at me it would make me laugh and I would probably then be more likely to be up for it! 😂

I doubt that applies to all moods and situations 'though.

It can be fine and funny, even sexy, when you're in the right headspace, but if you're pissed off, resentful, tired then it's not likely to be.

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 16:10

category12 · 16/05/2024 16:05

I doubt that applies to all moods and situations 'though.

It can be fine and funny, even sexy, when you're in the right headspace, but if you're pissed off, resentful, tired then it's not likely to be.

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Exactly what i was trying to say

category12 · 16/05/2024 16:10

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 16:00

Doesn't anyone else look at male genitals and just think of capt caveman or is it just me lol

😂Can't say it ever occurred to me. 😂

DH just came into living room asking for sex...

Taurusenergy · 16/05/2024 16:11

category12 · 16/05/2024 16:10

😂Can't say it ever occurred to me. 😂

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I'm crying 😂😂 it's just my mind I guess

TypingoftheDead · 16/05/2024 18:13

horseyhorsey17 · 16/05/2024 15:19

"Loving coitus". Are you Sheldon off The Big Bang Theory?

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It wouldn’t be OP’s fault if he did cheat - some people give their partners all the sex and attention they ask for and still get cheated on. It’s more a question of entitlement on the cheater’s part.

BananaLambo · 16/05/2024 18:18

I see the menz have arrived, telling women to suck it up, literally and figuratively. Just do your fucking fair share of the chores and then we might not be too tired to see you as an extra fucking job.

Jk987 · 16/05/2024 18:24

Why doesn't he do anything in the house or for the children? Just why?