DH just came into living room asking for sex...

[thea11]

He does this sometimes, typing it out is going to make me feel sick. He'll go and have a shower then come in the living room with a hard on and ask for sex. If I'm in a good mood I will (reluctantly) do it, but today, I've had a shit day, I'm knackered from work, I'm hot and sweaty folding up washing and still wearing my work clothes.

He swanned in late from work, I made his dinner in between putting both kids to bed (aged 4 and 9 months), and he comes home, eats his dinner knowing I'm pissed off from a hard day, then has the audacity to ask me to have sex with him!! WTAF!? - does anyone else's husband do this?

I would be annoyed because whilst you've been doing housework and even had time to change, he's been in the shower watching porn. He doesn't just get a hard-on for no reason!

Hmm in my experience it doesn't take much! 😊

I'm no expert, but would assume that after watching porn in the shower he wouldn't then be gagging for an encore. Maybe a man can come along to enlighten us?! 😆

Interesting. My husband does this and I’m like OBVIOUSLY 😂 not in the living room now we have kids but we always ask ‘do you wanna have sex?’ Because it’s clear when we answer if we want to or not and there’s no ambiguity. Idk if you don’t want to you can just say no when he does that, and if you don’t like it tell him?

We always ask do you wanna have sex? You can just say No

I think you’re ignoring the context. All couples ask for consent from each other in a variety of ways. That goes without pointing out really.

The point is ;
no woman in the world wants to be asked that when they’ve got in from work, they’ve spent the last few hours feeding a baby to sleep, bathing the 4 year old and putting them to bed, cooking and doing chores. They’re dying to get changed and showered- they’re sweaty and in their work clothes but they’ve put everyone else’s needs first.

If a man assumes that’s a good time to ask for sex (without even asking How was your day? How are you and the kids, are you ok? Need a hand?)!he’s either completely socially inept or he’s prioritising his cock and doesn’t care.

The icing on the cake is that instead of considering why his wife isn’t impressed and jumping on the hard he’s showing her, he concludes she’s “moody”.

I think sex is great and dh and I both initiate it. But come on now, It doesn’t take much effort to check in with each other first, see how the other person is feeling and then decide if you want to ask.
I’ve never had to spell this out to dh, it’s basic respect.

Loads of pp have explained this already.

Well done op for finally telling him he’s being a prick. Your home life and sex life will improve dramatically if you’re allowed to have needs too.

100%

If he'd walked in and started doing the laundry with you, or better still said "I'll finish this, you go get a shower and put your comfies on" he's far more likely to get a shag.

If he wants sex maybe he should have cooked the dinner, put the kids to bed, fold the washing and run you a bath. Then maybe you'd be in the mood.

Uhm. I think you both need a discussion about needs.