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All the single men either or constantly travelling or love hiking...I like going to b&m

190 replies

wiseoldsnail · 14/05/2024 13:09

Dating apps are full of men who just want to travel or spend all their free time half way up a mountain.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that sees this?

I'd just like someone to go to ikea with on a Sunday....maybe a carvery as an extra treat. Not sweating my arse off pretending im enjoying 23 mile uphill walk

OP posts:
LightSpeeds · 15/05/2024 21:39

wiseoldsnail · 14/05/2024 13:09

Dating apps are full of men who just want to travel or spend all their free time half way up a mountain.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that sees this?

I'd just like someone to go to ikea with on a Sunday....maybe a carvery as an extra treat. Not sweating my arse off pretending im enjoying 23 mile uphill walk

Yep, I hate this. I am NOT going up a mountain with you or walking 50 miles on the weekend. I just pass these ones by...

Summerof2024 · 15/05/2024 21:46

Gummibearos · 15/05/2024 21:28

Exactly this.

Not everyone thinks travelling = backpacking.

I don’t know…Perhaps they did in the past but not nowadays.

Edited

İ never said it was backpacking. I said I was 'backpacking etc.'

Travelling is going off for at least a few months and going from place to place or spending a few months in a completely different culture. You don't have to do it in a back packing way.

But flying off to Europe on Friday night, then back to work on Monday is not travelling. Saying 'İ'm going travelling', or 'İ'm a traveller', makes the person sound ridiculous.

I've done weekends away, I've done two week holidays, İ've done three months trips, I've done years abroad. I'd only say I was going travelling if I was doing a big trips, as would most people who aren't trying to impress. I don't do big trips anymore, I just do fortnights away when I can, and certainly wouldn't call myself a traveller or 'someone who travels' these days, because I know the difference, and I'm not a prat 🤣 I don't know anyone who have done actual travelling who would use the term travelling for their two week holidays, because they know the significance of it.

You can argue all you want, but it's super cringe to me and many others, and comes from fake Instagram influencer culture.

Gummibearos · 15/05/2024 21:53

@Summerof2024

You’re saying the ones who state they are travelling aren’t “travelling” because they’re going abroad for a week or two.

Again, they are not being misleading or exaggerating because it’s very commonly understood by many (perhaps not you) that someone who likes “travelling” may not necessarily be backpacking or travelling for an extended period of time.

I always ask what they mean exactly, not to judge whether they’re allowed to use the word or not lol but just to make conversation and get a better idea of their lifestyle.

I find sometimes they are in fact traveling for longer periods and go to various locations within a country like I did last month. However equally often it’s also 1-2 week trips to eg. a European city or a Greek island. But I am many others wouldn’t think it’s an exaggeration or misrepresentation to use the term “travelling” to describe the latter. So I’ll assume many of the men aren’t being deceptive either as they’ll genuinely feel it is travelling hence they’re using that word!

You do NOT need to be going away for months for it to count as travelling.

To me if anything it seems more pretentious and pathetic to say ooh they’re not being adventurous enough to qualify as having “properly travelled” if it’s just a shorter break!

But flying off to Europe on Friday night, then back to work on Monday is not travelling. Saying 'İ'm going travelling', or 'İ'm a traveller', makes the person sound ridiculous.

And btw most guys I’ve seen simply write they like “travelling” they don’t necessarily label themselves as “travellers” on dating profile.

People travel differently, just ask what they mean. Simple.

Bearpawk · 15/05/2024 22:52

I'll marry you op, you sound like my kinda gal 😂

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/05/2024 22:56

Read "travel" so often it now has no meaning in my head

Lilacdew · 15/05/2024 23:05

I'm not exactly going to put ikea and a carvery on my profile 😂😂😂

@wiseoldsnail Please do! I bet you'd get some answers from lovely men who just want a life of happy domesticity.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/05/2024 23:09

Lilacdew · 15/05/2024 23:05

I'm not exactly going to put ikea and a carvery on my profile 😂😂😂

@wiseoldsnail Please do! I bet you'd get some answers from lovely men who just want a life of happy domesticity.

I agree!

"I like walks in the country and trips to new places but also love a mooch around Ikea followed by a carvery!"

KindaBinding81 · 15/05/2024 23:37

This is a bit of a digression, but the person I know who has had the most success with OLD by a long shot is not an obvious one.

She's late 30s, not a 'looker' and about a size 14, and I don't think has ever done actual exercising, let alone long hikes.

But she runs her own quite successful business and is a no-nonsense, kind and lovely person.

I'm not sure what she put in her dating profile but she was going on about three dates a week, and has remained good online friends with many of them, until she met her now long-term partner.

TheCadoganArms · 16/05/2024 09:02

Bobbotgegrinch · 14/05/2024 16:15

You're missing the boredom factor.

My mate got divorced about 5 years ago, got massively into rock climbing shortly afterwards. Would go on weekends away, every evening.

When he met his current partner he dropped it like a stone.

Men often end up with a lot of free time after a divorce. They still generally see the kids less, and often don't end up in a shitty little flat so that the kids don't have to move out of the family home.

Who wants to go to a carvery by themselves, or Ikea? And sitting in front of the TV every night alone with a chinese in your crappy flat is a surefire route to depression.

So some men throw themselves into work. Some find themselves a bunch of single buddies in the pub every night, and some find a solitary hobby, like rock climbing, or running, or hiking, or cycling, or surfing.

The ones who do the latter are likely to be the most well adjusted ones, so don't write them off too soon. Go on a few dates, if you find you're struggling to schedule them in around his hobby, then thats a sign he ain't giving it up any time soon. On the other hand, if he's happy to ignore the call of the wild in order to spend time with you, he's likely to seriously reduce the time he spends doing it going forwards.

From my observations most people when recently single / divorced throw themselves into new hobbies or sports. I have been guilty of this myself when I have come out of a relationship and have been feeling fairly crap so have sought out distractions and ways to get away from my familiar surroundings. So yes I have holidayed alone, walked hadrians wall, hit the gym, signed up to cookery classes and generally tried to inject some positivity into my life. It certainly helped me to put some metaphorical distance between me and my ex and get some perspective as to where I was in life without it all being doom laden.

womanwithissues · 16/05/2024 14:33

Can we talk about "drama-free" on a profile and what that implies? And "no ex issues". Well I have an ex and he was emotionally abusive which has given me some issues. Soz.

ClipClopperDontStopper · 16/05/2024 14:42

anyone who says they're looking for someone who's 'drama free' are deffo the dramatic ones!

SamW98 · 16/05/2024 14:44

Drama free - doesn’t call me out on my twatty bullshitty behaviour.

wiseoldsnail · 16/05/2024 19:26

womanwithissues · 16/05/2024 14:33

Can we talk about "drama-free" on a profile and what that implies? And "no ex issues". Well I have an ex and he was emotionally abusive which has given me some issues. Soz.

Also this 100% I always avoid these ones partly as I have a narcissistic ex who is my child's father.

I mainly avoid them because from the profiles I've seen, the ones that want 'drama free' always look unbelievably serious. Not a smiley selfie insight. Pretty sure they love their own drama and can't cope with other people's stresses.

OP posts:
wiseoldsnail · 25/05/2024 11:35

I'm just coming back just to announce that I have found someone who loves IKEA.

AND.....

He actually mentioned that he likes IKEA before I even confessed my love for it.

Yet to have a romantic date over Swedish meatballs but it is definitely on the cards.

P.s didn't even put it in my bio....it's just fate.

OP posts:
Needmorelego · 25/05/2024 11:40

@wiseoldsnail fingers crossed for you ❤️❤️❤️

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