All the single men either or constantly travelling or love hiking...I like going to b&m

[wiseoldsnail]

Dating apps are full of men who just want to travel or spend all their free time half way up a mountain.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that sees this?

I'd just like someone to go to ikea with on a Sunday....maybe a carvery as an extra treat. Not sweating my arse off pretending im enjoying 23 mile uphill walk

@wiseoldsnail
It does seem that we are "left with the baby"! And I have little energy left for axe throwing at the weekends. I am chatting to a guy 10 years younger atm but I think he will twig I'm just too old and fat for him.

This guy likes b&q kind of 😂

See, this is the kind of man we want. Safe and predictable, exactly what is says on the tin

Ooo yes please 😂😂

True and very relatable. My DH was a rock climbing action bore when I met him. He’d just got divorced and was reinventing himself. I soon reinvented him into something better!

Ironically, those earnest hiking couples you see in head to toe Jack Wolfskin always look like the most dull unadventurous people. I always assume she has Stockholm syndrome and if you freed her from the cult of boring mountains and moisture wicking fabrics she’d cry with gratitude over an IKEA Daim cake and a night in with Netflix.

Reading this I'm a bit gutted for my sister. She loves nothing more than to hike up a mountain or go windsurfing/cycling/skiing, but she's been single for over a decade despite being attractive, fit and solvent. She doesn't seem to meet any of these action-loving blokes. Maybe they're all exaggerating their outdoorsy-ness on thier profiles?

@SoSo99 true I think a lot of guys only put up a picture where they went hiking once, once went on a skiing holiday etc not a true reflection. I once dated a guy with s photo of himself up a mountain and he couldn't been further from what he's really like, basically pub and sports bar kind of man!
It can be off putting though, if they seem too busy/sporty, when all you want is too relax, you wonder if they have the time for a relationship. I'm more walk to pub and restaurant type. I avoid the ones that want to travel the world, I'm not able to just get up and go like that.

I noticed that when I was on it.

Or......"my kids are my life" which is nice on a surface level but anecdata from friends suggests it is code for "I went 50/50 so no CM but I dont like looking after my own kids and will try to introduce them very early so I have a free nanny". Also, "I am very sociable" means he will be out with his friends all the time and will only see you when he wants a shag, OR when you go out he gets hideously drunk, thinks he is hilarious and is v v embarrassing.....or both.

I auto swiped away anyone in lycra, next to a bike/surfboard/boat/golf racket, in an anorak (went right off my mega crush Ed Byrne when I saw him in an anorak about to walk up a big hill because....it was a big hill), football shirt or stag do costume or with a dog (very allergic).

I have told this before but when DD was Tinder prior to meeting her very lovely and very normal partner who loves a good mooch around Costco and Ikea as much as she does, she was swiping and I said "What was wrong with him?" He was good looking, local, right age, etc and she said "he is a personal trainer and I like chips"! So proud of her, she stands by her boundaries....ok so it might involve chips and late night Maccies runs but dammit she holds firm! Her partner, when she got concussion due to an accident at work and was thoroughly miserable went to maccies at midnight and bought all her favourite things. It was that day I decided I wanted him as a SonIL!

Also, he calls me Ma, and remembers how I like my coffee, he is perfect!

@toomuch90 DH loves IKEA.. I could be through in 15 minutes... and dislikes board games on the whole. I dragged him to Bastion last January, tbf he played a few games but spent most of the weekend hiking 😃

Has she tried joining a hiking club? DH and I are both ancient but belong to a pretty active walking group... it's getting a reputation as a dating opportunity!

How can she not meet blokes doing that?

I've done all of those & more, tho not snow skiing, but water-skiing & all were v heavily bloke dominated, females a rarity & not short of company.

Many of my friends husbands love walking and doing activities at the weekend. A trip to IKEA would be a chore they would put off. My DH loves gardening so would probably prefer a garden centre. The trip to ikea isn't a hobby though is it? It's a brainless killing of time, or a necessity to buy a cheap piece of furniture. Why would anyone declare that on any dating app? However if that's your thing it is better to be honest. Ending up with an active date when you are not would be torture for you both.

I’m sure it was Esther rantzen that said
“I can find someone to do something with, But I’m liking for someone to do nothing with”

And it is so true!

I love the idea of dating at IKEA. What a great way to check patience and tolerance 😂

There was a mass game of hide and seek in an IKEA. 100s turned up to play!

I hate b&Q with a passion but did like a poke about John Lewis with dw till they closed it.
Hiking and being action man I was definitely not when dating mind you dating back then could consist of the lonely hearts in newspaper...that was a hoot.

Now you see that is funny and attractive 😂

I had a very brief stint of online dating. I quickly came to my senses.

Full.of men skiing, travelling, up mountains, kayaking..no wonder they don't have partners, no time for it surely.

I suspect its all aspirational but it's very pretentious and ego driven.

I will come with you to b and m. How do you feel about Dunelm?

Sounds like my mind of man. Wish I’f known my husband’s true passion in life was slobbing on the sofa with a packet of biscuits in one band while scratching his balls with the other.

That's why you need to write it up as "I have a passion for interior design and deco, and fine dining" 😅

It's even worse in my country. There isn't a profile without the obligatory racing bike, wraparound shades and lycra up in the Alps, some extreme sport shots , skiing, finishing line of a marathon, and holding a big fish photo collection.

Then I pair this up with MN constant relationship complaints of husbands with extreme hobbies that take hours over the weekends and evenings where they never seem to have time to share chores and childcare.....

It’s worse that bondage and masochism 😂

It's good to be honest!

You want someone to share your interests and you might find someone who likes Sunday Ikea

Also without generalising, the men liking being physically active are also traditionally slim/muscular. I am that too and don't want someone unfit and/or overweight. So it's the full package for me. I work very hard to be slim and toned in my late 40s and I want a man who is the same. When I was OLD; I've seen plenty of unfit men who clearly wouldn't recognise a treadmill if it fell on them so maybe consider one of them ?

It’s good to know men exaggerate their interests. I’d be technically quizzing them on what mountains they’ve climbed etc.

I’m like the PP. I’m a qualified yoga teacher, scuba diver, hiker, runner and I do weight training. I don’t want to go out with an overweight bloke who couldn’t run a bath. I want a very physically fit bloke and one who likes watching sports too.

So basically, the tendency for men to exaggerate their physical activity level on dating sites is bad for everyone - those who do enjoy that sort of thing will be disappointed if it turns out that the hiking pic was from the one time they got dragged along in 2019, and those who don't will swipe left and not realise that that guy could have been their perfect Ikea and carvery buddy.

I'm mostly confused at the idea that hiking up a mountain and pottering around Ikea are mutually exclusive activities. Most people end up finding room for both physically active hobbies and mooching round the shops in their life. The balance between them is what you need to be finding out. I like a good long hike but not every weekend and not involving camping. I also like a lazy pub afternoon but I wouldn't want to date anyone if that was the most interesting thing they enjoyed doing with their time. (Ikea brings me out in hives though.)